Feel like a fraud at work

[Minieggmug]

Is this normal after returning from maternity leave?

Im finding work SO hard. Whilst on mat leave I applied for and was awarded a promotion. So I’ve gone into a new team with new projects and am being expected to step up, but I feel like a complete fraud.

I’ve been back six weeks but the handover has been very slow. I’m replacing someone else, and they’ve been gatekeeping quite a lot which hasn’t helped. I only got access to the team emails and project files last week.

Im finding it hard to get into all the information, my head seems to be full of cotton wool and when I have a task to do, what used to take me 20 minutes takes an hour or more. Im working late into the evening just to keep up. My line manager is being nice about it but I feel awful, I’m sure I’m a huge hindrance on the team. My baby has just started nursery and I’ve had quite a few days off because he’s been ill which has made it harder to get momentum.

Is this normal and does it get better? I felt like crying this afternoon.

You are effectively starting a new job. It takes time to onboard into a new job. However, you can take control of the situation and make a concrete plan - e.g. for your first 30, 60 and 90 days (from now, you can start this anytime!). You can discuss the plan with your manager to show that you are approaching your onboarding methodically, and it'll give you some concrete goals.

Stop apologising or feeling bad about it - just take control. You can do this!

Oh I felt like this too when I started a new job. It's all a but blurry. Had major imposter syndrome. It's not easy but I think it's normal. I still have self doubt but some things that help

• deliberately using positive self talk - even if I'm just saying I'm really enjoying my job to myself and trying to reframe challenges, or talking myself up before a meeting. I wrote a few positive post it notes around the place

• trying to have very quiet weekends for the first couple of months - am about 6 weeks in now - would rather have a quieter but less stressful life

• I do put in some extra time for admin in the mornings before work and weekends - not ideal but helps a bit

• not overpromising
• short breaks

Can you speak honestly with your line manager & ask them to help you to work on the key areas of you role? And explain about the gate keeping of the emails etc.

Well done on gaining a promotion whilst on mat leave. This shows you are more than capable, just give yourself some more time to adjust. It’s ok to have a cry. I always find stepping into a new role overwhelming at first but it does get easier,

Taking on a new role is tough. Taking a new role whilst adjusting to life as a working mum is double tough. Firstly stop beating yourself up, you are doing your best. Second google imposter syndrome it’s a real thing. Third it will all come together, be patient and stop putting the pressure on yourself, it’s just an adjustment period and it’s going to feel uncomfortable. Good luck xxx

It’s completely normal. I would

• focus on getting to know the new team you are working with
• set yourself 3 things to achieve each day and concentrate on those 3 things.

it will come together, don’t overthink it.

Sometimes when I have imposter syndrome I re-read my cv and all my achievements I have on there, to remind myself I am actually fairly competent!

It's normal, even when going back to your normal job, never mind a different one. Handhold and be kind to yourself. You were chosen because you were the best fit.

set yourself 3 things to achieve each day and concentrate on those 3 things.

Pinching this 👆🙏👍

Yup 100% normal. I thought I was loosing my mind!I could pre child run a shift with my eyes closed,loom after 30 patients, be in charge of the building, mentor students ect all at the one time. After mat leave I barely got through a shift🙈 however it does get better with time. Although I'm still don't feel as good at my job as I did pre child. I don't know the science behind it but it's defo a thing!

Even without the added pressure of returning from maternity - there's a saying that if you don't feel out of your depth for six months after a promotion, you took the wrong job (or something like that).

It's totally normal to take time to settle in - I like the pp's advice to focus on achieving three things a day.