Page 2 | Friendly neighbour or crossing the line?

Starshine17 · 2025-04-07T18:59:44+00:00

My OH and myself are both office based on Mondays, we have 2 older DC, and feel comfortable enough leaving them alone for the morning in the holidays while we’re working, and they’re happy enough being at home with each other for a few hours. Today, my neighbour decided to bring the bins in, not in front of the gate as usual but all the way up the side and into the back garden (spotted on our cctv) AIBU to think this is totally unacceptable? - luckily the kids hadn’t surfaced from their rooms until after this, but when I arrived home later they had the doors open and the dog was wandering in and out. If they’d already had the doors open and were suddenly aware of a man in the garden they’d have been terrified!

Branster · 07/04/2025 20:25

You have CCTV but you don't lock your garden gate?
It's a bit like having a tracker in your car but leaving the key in the car when you're not using it.

Poppyseeds79 · 07/04/2025 20:25

Or, failing that OP can just ask him not to bother doing them a favour in future. Including also moving their bins if they're away on holiday, and they can be noted as their house being empty instead for a fortnight 🫠

fiorentina · 07/04/2025 20:28

I’d say that it’s meant to be a nice thing to do. Having bins out all day implies you’re out and maybe they think it’s a considerate thing to do so help you.

However if you’d prefer they didn’t then introduce yourselves, thank them and tell them not to bother in future.

MikeRafone · 07/04/2025 20:28

Perhaps that’s what they did for the old neighbours and they did it automatically, forgetting you are there now and keep bins at front

youre reading far to much into this, moving bins is considered a nice gesture, I’m lucky enough to have neighbours that do this and do do I

wht not invite them in for a coffee and chat so your dc do know them

Original poster

Starshine17 · 07/04/2025 20:52

MiffyMiffedOff · 07/04/2025 20:20

Just re-read the op, he usually brings the bins but only to the front of the gate.

So why today is he going through the gate, onto private property and taking the bins all the way round the back to the back garden? The kids could have been sunbathing. Pretty much everywhere is half term. He knows you are out. The dog could have bit him with him being in the back garden. And yes it would be disconcerting for children to find a man they may not recognise in their garden.

I would thank him for returning the bins but ask that he only ever puts them in front of the gate and does not come round the back again.

Thank you, exactly this, it was a change of behaviour on his part. But I think having a chat is what I will do

Im sorry to everyone else - I’ve clearly come across as some sort of ungrateful person who leaves my bins strewn about the road for days! I’m very grateful for good neighbours and I’m more than happy to share bin duties and I always put my bins away as soon as I’m home. I will prioritise a gate lock.

OP posts:

SpringIsSpringing25 · 07/04/2025 22:11

MiffyMiffedOff · 07/04/2025 20:20

Just re-read the op, he usually brings the bins but only to the front of the gate.

So why today is he going through the gate, onto private property and taking the bins all the way round the back to the back garden? The kids could have been sunbathing. Pretty much everywhere is half term. He knows you are out. The dog could have bit him with him being in the back garden. And yes it would be disconcerting for children to find a man they may not recognise in their garden.

I would thank him for returning the bins but ask that he only ever puts them in front of the gate and does not come round the back again.

Believe it or not, he may not have children and if he doesn't have children, he may have no bloody idea it's half term, not everyone's world revolves around school terms.

Meninmusic · 07/04/2025 22:50

I’d put a lock on your gate - I’d hate this too. If you’re new to the property perhaps he did this with the last owners (& thinks it helpful?) Or put a sign on your gate with a Do not open dog loose inside! type message. Not to frighten/burglar deter but to stress your dog could get out. Lock is better (though inconvenient in practise).

1SillySossij · 07/04/2025 22:56

Get your kids to get up earlier and bring them in

TeenLifeMum · 07/04/2025 23:03

He sounds lovely. My dc are sometimes home alone and would probably respond by saying “oh neighbour Dave brought the bins back for us this morning” then I’d message and say “thanks for the bins Dave”.

i see you’re avoiding the question about dc age but wonder if they’re younger than mine as mine wouldn’t be scared in the slightest.

Anonym00se · 08/04/2025 08:14

Vanfan · 07/04/2025 20:24

I bet its his way of telling you that bins belong in your back garden , like his ,and not in the front for all the world to see.

Having read OP’s updates, I agree. Leaving bins in the front garden is a capital offence on our Close. Many a neighbour has fallen foul of this little known by-law and ended up victims of the dreaded WhatsApp group witch-hunters.

TheFlis · 08/04/2025 08:17

I’d wager it’s a passive aggressive act on his part as he doesn’t like you leaving the bins out the front. He saw you go out so decided to correct you and put them
back where he thinks they should be.

Streaaa · 08/04/2025 08:20

I agree with you OP, he has absolutely no business going around the back of your house.
Very strange.
Lock on gate asap.
Tell him thank you BUT to please leave them at X and no further.
We would do the same for a neighbour, just inside the gate.
We wouldn't dream of going further in, neither would our neighbours.
Probably nosey.
Be wary.

Maray1967 · 08/04/2025 08:21

TheFlis · 08/04/2025 08:17

I’d wager it’s a passive aggressive act on his part as he doesn’t like you leaving the bins out the front. He saw you go out so decided to correct you and put them
back where he thinks they should be.

Yes, that’s my reading of it as well.

OP, this is simple - secure your gate! It should have a lock on it in any case. Why make it easy for people for wander around the back of your house in the middle of the night?

bigboykitty · 08/04/2025 08:25

How old are your children? No point posting this,if you're unwilling to say. I think it was a huge overstep from your neighbour. I would wonder if he likes to go for anosey around on a Monday when the house is usually empty. I would ask him not to come into your garden again and tell him it triggered an alert on your home security when he chose to go into your private garden uninvited. But regarding your children being scared, you need to stop being evasive and say their ages.

ThatNimblePeer · 08/04/2025 08:34

MiffyMiffedOff · 07/04/2025 20:20

Just re-read the op, he usually brings the bins but only to the front of the gate.

So why today is he going through the gate, onto private property and taking the bins all the way round the back to the back garden? The kids could have been sunbathing. Pretty much everywhere is half term. He knows you are out. The dog could have bit him with him being in the back garden. And yes it would be disconcerting for children to find a man they may not recognise in their garden.

I would thank him for returning the bins but ask that he only ever puts them in front of the gate and does not come round the back again.

I know it’s very much not the point of the thread, but - this is Easter holidays, not half term, surely? Wasn’t half term back in February?

MiffyMiffedOff · 08/04/2025 08:38

@ThatNimblePeer FFS I have adult children so it only registers when the local shopping centre is heaving with primary aged children and parents looking frazzled. I forgot to use "Easter holidays" and instead said half term. Is that all you are adding to this thread?

Anyotherdude · 08/04/2025 08:48

I voted YABU. Do not leave your house/property unsecured. What if it wasn’t your neighbour accessing your property?

Put a lockable gate on the side access to your garden and make sure it’s locked, and can’t be jumped over. If your DC were alone in the house, opened the back door and were sitting or playing at the back of the garden, or worse, were in the house and someone tried to burgle you, YOU WOULD NOT BE INSURED!

I don’t understand why people don’t seem to know this: there was a thread last week about someone who was quite cross because a Delivery Driver had let himself in to her private hallway because… she had left the Front door in an open-able (from outside) state.

High profile cases showcasing the perils of not securing your property (or safety of children) in line with your House Insurance Policy have been widely reported: see this report https://www.standard.co.uk/hp/front/cilla-black-ps1m-insurance-blow-6944547.html

Cilla Black £1m insurance blow

CILLA BLACK'S £1m insurance claim for jewellery stolen in a violent raid on her home has been turned down, it was revealed today.

https://www.standard.co.uk/hp/front/cilla-black-ps1m-insurance-blow-6944547.html

MiffyMiffedOff · 08/04/2025 08:48

And yes, I do know the difference, I used to work in a primary school.

ThatNimblePeer · 10/04/2025 14:42

MiffyMiffedOff · 08/04/2025 08:38

@ThatNimblePeer FFS I have adult children so it only registers when the local shopping centre is heaving with primary aged children and parents looking frazzled. I forgot to use "Easter holidays" and instead said half term. Is that all you are adding to this thread?

All right keep your hair on. I don’t have children at all so I am constantly getting caught out by not having realised it’s half term until I wade into the kind of heaving local shopping centre you’re mentioning. Just wanted to confirm that for once I haven’t missed the fact that one is happening!

purplecorkheart · 10/04/2025 14:52

As others said it is most likely that he does not like the bins being in the front garden (that would be a hanging offence where I live). Or he could be like my neighbor who will bring my bin in as he is doing his own anyway and it saves me a job when I come home from work. Either way I would not fall out with him over it.

Do you have a side gate. If you do keep it locked from the inside. If not I would get one installed asap.

PurpleThistle7 · 10/04/2025 15:11

Sounds like a nice thing he did. Am sure your kids would have done it not long after though so maybe just make sure they’re a bit quicker. Or just get a lock on the gate as sounds like you wouldn’t want him to have access either way.

MyKingdomForACat · 10/04/2025 15:13

Be thankful the neighbour is around in case the kids need him

Ilovemyshed · 10/04/2025 15:17

We live in a small safe village but still lock the gate. Don’t know why you wouldn’t 🤷🏽‍♀️

mondaytosunday · 10/04/2025 15:24

he thought he was just doing you a favour so next time you see him say ‘Thanks Bob for bringing in the bins but please don’t bother next time as we like to keep them in the front’.
He may have done this for the previous owners and just forgot out of habit.