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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler left alone - is this acceptable?

57 replies

NamechangeApril2025 · 07/04/2025 17:37

A newly walking 14 month old left alone in a room while sole adult went out (for maybe a few minutes) to the garden on the other side of the house.

Room has a baby gate but is not a babyproofed room.

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 07/04/2025 20:03

Without knowing the layout it’s hard to say but in our house it would be fine.

MerryBeret · 07/04/2025 20:05

Polistock · 07/04/2025 19:25

Absolutely love these threads. More than 2 but less than 10, harder than putting the bins out but easier than evicting an angry badger from the house, can't say what as too outing but think we run the only residential water mill in the three counties region.

😂

Sorry, OP, but literally no point in asking us to judge a situation if you won't actually reveal what the situation was.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 07/04/2025 20:11

My dd would follow me 😭, but I'd go out to empty the bins, about 2m from the front door when she was that age

ThinWomansBrain · 07/04/2025 20:14

A few minutes in the garden?
Not a weekend in Paris or out partying 'til 3am?

Dramatic · 07/04/2025 20:19

My sil once left my baby outside on her own at the same age, she climbed on to a chair and tipped over the back of it face first on to concrete, I was absolutely furious. So I'd say it does depend how hazardous the room is and how likely your child is to put themselves in danger. My youngest (the injured child) was a climber and couldn't be left at all, other kids would stay on the floor and be absolutely fine.

Suzuki76 · 07/04/2025 20:23

MerryBeret · 07/04/2025 20:05

😂

Sorry, OP, but literally no point in asking us to judge a situation if you won't actually reveal what the situation was.

Show quote history

Agreed. I suppose it is outing to say you were watering the plants. Only one person has those.

NuffSaidSam · 07/04/2025 20:24

It depends on the exact circumstances.

If you and this other adult are both competent people with the child's best interests at heart and you disagree then it's probably a grey area.

If you have heavy furniture that can be easily pulled down by a toddler you should get this fixed to the wall. They're far more likely to pull it down on themselves at 2/3/4 years old and that's the age where you're more likely to leave them alone in the room.

Original poster
NamechangeApril2025 · 07/04/2025 20:35

Suzuki76 · 07/04/2025 20:23

Agreed. I suppose it is outing to say you were watering the plants. Only one person has those.

Show quote history

😂😂 OK so this did make me laugh.

It's not relevant what was being done outside the house

I'm not annoyed with anyone but I am questioning their judgement and have a decision to make. Some people have felt there was enough info to give their opinion and some have felt there wasn't. That's fine.

OP posts:
TriciaMcMillan · 07/04/2025 20:36

Polistock · 07/04/2025 19:25

Absolutely love these threads. More than 2 but less than 10, harder than putting the bins out but easier than evicting an angry badger from the house, can't say what as too outing but think we run the only residential water mill in the three counties region.

This will be my new scale of difficulty, against which all jobs will be judged.

ExtraOnions · 07/04/2025 20:37

Unless they live at Chatsworth, probably ok

AnotherHappyCamper · 07/04/2025 20:38

In a playpen with absolutely nothing at all that could cause danger would be ok if the errand was unavoidable at that particular time and/or unsafe to do with a child in tow.

Left wandering about on his or her own, absolutely not. Too many things could go wrong.

Offtobuttonmoontovisitmrspoon · 07/04/2025 20:42

They were taking a shit in next doors driveway weren’t they?? I bloody knew it. Not acceptable.

Heavy things in the room include a truck and a suit of armour. So dangerous.

MerryBeret · 07/04/2025 20:42

NamechangeApril2025 · 07/04/2025 20:35

😂😂 OK so this did make me laugh.

It's not relevant what was being done outside the house

I'm not annoyed with anyone but I am questioning their judgement and have a decision to make. Some people have felt there was enough info to give their opinion and some have felt there wasn't. That's fine.

Show quote history

Of course it's relevant!

There's a difference between 'left my toddler unattended to put out a fire', and 'left my toddler unattended to paint my nails'. And thousands of shades of grey in between.

springhassprun · 07/04/2025 20:46

I would have nipped out of the room when mine were this age but most of our house was child proofed. Hypocritically though, I’d be annoyed if I was paying someone to look after my child or if the grandparents were looking after them.

Lulooo · 07/04/2025 21:17

I’ve left babies in rooms and gone into the other room for something. Kitchen, upstairs etc. I don’t just leave the child standing in the middle of room. I sit them down air contain them or distract them with a toy or something.

Leaving them to go out of the house to
the shops etc is a definite no. But come on, we’ve all been to the loo when we’ve had a baby/toddler. Jsut keep the door open or take a baby camera with you or something.

RainbowSlimeLab · 07/04/2025 21:24

I left mine every morning to go outside to feed the animals. It takes 2 minutes but would have taken longer if she’d come with me, especially when it was raining and needed to get suited and booted.

Nothing happened. She’d usually watch me out the window.

Sugargliderwombat · 07/04/2025 21:46

I'd say only if it's your house and your child and you can judge that they'll be OK for a minute.

Snowdrop98 · 07/04/2025 21:54

I wouldn’t have done this but she had a knack for finding the most dangerous thing in the room the second you turned your back. It was an astounding skill. If I had to do something like that I put her in a playpen for my own sanity.

ttcat37 · 07/04/2025 22:00

I have a child the same age and if I turn my back he’s doing something dangerous- especially loves cables, electricals, climbing (but can’t get down), trying to eat plants, and grabbing anything on any surface. So no, I wouldn’t leave him for any amount of time. Not even for a quick wee

RafaistheKingofClay · 07/04/2025 22:01

TriciaMcMillan · 07/04/2025 20:36

This will be my new scale of difficulty, against which all jobs will be judged.

Show quote history

💯

YABU for asking a question that can’t be answered with the level of detail given (or not given). And for not attaching heavy furniture to the walls if there is any that can be pulled down. That can happen with you in the room.

RosesAndHellebores · 07/04/2025 22:04

I did. The house was relatively child proofed. Thankfully it was big enough to bung them in the cot and be unable to hear them. They quickly learnt to go to sleep.

We had a stair gate across the bottom of the stairs and across the kitchen.

BlondiePortz · 07/04/2025 22:07

Well if there was a fire how could the child get out, sure hardly likely but we never had a child in a room they couldn't get out of

cestlaviecherie · 07/04/2025 22:34

In my house they'd immediately pull an Ikea bookcase over on to themselves and die. So no.

Blondeerror · 07/04/2025 22:37

Nope, I wouldn’t do it. Baby could have climbed on something and fallen off, pulled something over on themselves, tripped and fell- the list goes on.
id have taken them with me or put in a play pen

TheSilentSister · 07/04/2025 22:44

It really depends on the DC. Mine was walking properly by 11mths but wasn't the sort to stick beads up his nose, open cupboards, stick his fingers into sockets or drink washing up liquid etc. If they were safely preoccupied I wouldn't think anything of having a quick shower, putting the bins out etc.