How would you deal with this situation?

[Lesleyann25]

I have been coparenting for 10 years with my ex it has not been plain sailing he is very manipulative so I kept her times to school nights which he preferred as he said Saturdays are his day off from parenting(don’t get me started)

However I am aware his relationship of 10 year (OW) is not going very well. My problem is my daughter has been acting out in the past never said a bad word about step mother. Lately she has been calling me to come home so I go to pick her up but she is very quiet and says she does not know why.

Her Dad let it slip that step mother has said she cannot cope with both kids together her daughter is 8.

i had been putting my daughters behaviour down to puberty but now something inside of me has just said no. I have told her father I believe she is being impacted by their relationship so if he wants to see her that’s fine but I would like her sleeping at home for the time being. Is this reasonable? It going to be really difficult for me for work but so be it my daughter must come first.

This must be really difficult and agree you need to put your DD first.

It sounds like something had happened or has been said, your DD has said she doesn't know but it may be she just doesn't know how to tell you about it.

You haven't said how old your DD is but I'm assuming she is over 10? Can you have some 1 to 1 time with her to get to the bottom of it? How does she usually get on with the OWs daughter?

How is your relationship with your Ex? Does he say if anything has happened when you have gone to collect DS to take her home?

What does your daughter want?

I have just picked her up from school and we had a long talk. She said she does not want to sleep there anymore because sometimes it makes her sad. They argue because Dad won’t do anything around the house. She said when they argue her little sister just acts like nothing is happening as she must be so used to it.

She is 11 and school is a little bit far to walk, I spoke to work told them a little white lie to cover this week and they said I can work around school holidays and next week she can stay at my mothers for the Easter Holidays.

She just got her periods too but I know my relationship with him wasn’t pleasant and I am definitely not going to force to be around it.

I feel sad though she has been feeling this way.

My relationship with ex is literally as little contact as possible. I was aware when she was younger he would leave her with his partner and go out but I think the partner has had enough and my DD is bearing the brunt. She loves her little sister but I think the age gap is really apparent to her at the moment where it was not an issue but I’m sure as her sister gets old they will have more in common again.

He does not tell me anything he does not even come out of the house. The OW’s DD is her half sister. All very fast made my head spin at the time. I left OW entered stage left obviously already involved and she was pregnant within 3 month.