Colleague crushing on me!

[Ruthfulmum]

Hey guys,
Just needing some advice. I am almost 4 years divorced single mum of a 5 year old. I work in a hospital and one of the colleague senior doctors been clearly flirting -He stares and lately quick shoulder and upper rubs and I am liking it, have started flirting back.
When we do rounds together in the mornings, he has started getting a bit nervous compared to a few months ago.

He is also divorced with a 12 year old.

I will say from the get go that I am not going to asking him.
Anyway, he is very shy, there’s not much banter but the chemistry is strong. The conversation is mostly work related and how’s the weekend. I am not sure if I would want to date a shy guy as I can be super shy too.

If the chemistry was not so strong, and the way he interact with people is attractive to me. The other day a procedure he was leading went wrong and I could tell the feedback knocked him a bit, I just went and rubbed his back and he held my hand briefly. I felt like felt myself go all red and left the room.
Next week I move on to a different department and won’t be seeing much of him.
I just wanted to come and have a space to vent. I have been single for a while and starting to get used to it, though can be lonely at times ☺️
Am I being unreasonable for not asking him?

FFS focus on your work, not a colleague crush. Not one wants to see you rubbing each other, in rounds.

Yes. Either ask him out or stop leading him on.

Are you applying alcohol gel after all this rubbing?

Colleague crushing on you you say?

Crushing ?
Isnt that what the teens say?

How to you feel about the proximity? You do work extremely closely. How would you handle things if it doesn't work out?

Not saying don't give it a go when he inevitably goes in for a snog but it feels a bit convenient, close and lack of self control-y to me with all that rubbing during rounds rather. That's opposed to a mature conversation and 'would you like to go for a coffee?. This is how things get messy.

If you want to try something, try and get it back onto a more boundaried footing first. Then a cuppa. Then a drink. Etc.

That is, the last thing you want to hear after a very public fling at senior level (sorry, people have probably noticed already) is 'im sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I'm not really ready for anything serious '.

If you are interested, let any next steps be deliberate and dignified, not just more of this shy rubbing and peeping.

Great, thank you. I will see him on Friday and ask him. Mature professional adults should not be behaving this way

Glad im not one of your patients tbh

Can you not see how inappropriate it is that both of you are touching each other like this at work? And for what it's worth, he doesn't sound very shy at all.

Glad you can see that @Ruthfulmum - you're what, 44 years old? Not a teen or twentysomething doe eyed ingenue.

Bewildered that a procedure on a patient went wrong and your priority was to hold the doctor's hand and then leave the room, blushing. What a fab nurse you are!

No he doesn’t. Shy people don’t openly stare and rub people!

Jesus. Me too. They’re there awkwardly staring at each other while between them, procedures are going wrong. 😬 yikes.

She said the feedback upset him (natural if a procedure goes wrong). I think she means they had their moment after the surgery itself, not during.

OP I would back up, boundaries in place, professional and friendly when going through any feedback reflections or similar. No touching. I would actually put it in his court to ask you rather than do the asking. Slight difference but I think is important in this case. You don't want to be easy company just because you're there.

Life is short op!

Just read all the comments, seriously lighten up people !!