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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is £2250, month, enough to live in post all livings costs are paid for

450 replies

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 00:37

I am very aware that I may get slammed, and I am
prepared. DP has had a terrible time at work the past few years, as we have both seen terrible side affects of what stress can do heart attack/ stroke/
severe mental health issues - we thought it best for him to leave the job. Having worked out our budget, post mortgage/ bills/ insurances etc being paid we have £2250 left a month. That is for two adults and a cat. Out of which is food and then life costs, as in choices - gym/ hair cut/ going to the cinema.

Having never had to budget ever, is this enough? Sufficent savings/ investments for emergencies…..it is 2250 that we have come up with for food and miscellaneous spending.

Am prepared to be roasted, also any budgeting tips appreciated.

We think it will be about a year.

OP posts:
100percenthagitude · 07/04/2025 18:49

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 18:44

Mmmmm nope, never had to budget, embarrassing now I think of it.

With your level of confidence (high), self awareness (none) and emotional intelligence (screaming into the void) I am guessing you are public school educated! 🤣

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 18:55

GarlicSmile · 07/04/2025 16:40

I have such a tiny disposable income that I don't bother with separate accounts, but fully agree they're a godsend to those who need to budget effectively. I maintain an Excel sheet so I can see where I'm at, with pivot tables to categorise my outgoings - pretty much the same effect. Everyone who budgets needs to know what goes where, what to expect and what can/can't be afforded.

My experience: my fortunes reversed in hideous fashion 20 years ago. I went, at a terrifying speed, from not really having to think about what I was spending to having fuck all to spend on anything. Others are giving you appropriate advice: my contribution's a small but vital mindset change.

With any and all purchases, I first ask myself whether I NEED it or WANT it. This was a bit destabilising at first, as I did literally feel like I needed five different Clarins skincare products every month and organic food, for instance. I'm not a complete idiot, though, so I switched to two supermarket skincare products and mass-produced ingredients. In my case, this kind of basic change knocked about a grand off my monthly spending for an extremely marginal lifestyle difference 😳

So it goes something like:
Do I need moisturiser, food, coffee? Yes.
Does it need to be Clarins, organic, single-source? No.
Good: how to replace them? Shop around, get a kick out of bargain-hunting.

With wants like clothing updates, days out, wines and whatever yours may be, I'll consider whether a cheaper alternative could work and, if so, whether I can afford it. My answer's generally no, it won't work. So I shelve the want (they often go away of their own accord) but still keep half an eye open for stunning bargains, in case I can afford to take advantage and still want the thing.

As you're not remotely skint but developing new skills for your new circumstances, I suspect you'll really enjoy it! Best of luck.

Thanks!

OP posts:
PayingItBack · 07/04/2025 18:56

Have you covered all occasional costs in your calculations already, things like insurance renewals, mot, putting money aside for birthdays or Christmas etc

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 19:00

Plumnora · 07/04/2025 16:29

I don't think yabu because you asked a simple question. That said, yes, you will be able to live very well if all your living expenses are already paid for. I earn around this a month.
I'm a single parent working 50 hours a week, adult, autistic DD who had her PIP stopped but not working, tween DD, 3 cats. Mortgage to pay, car to run. No work pension as I opted out just to survive each month. We just about get by each month.
You will be more than ok.

I am sorry that sounds really tough. I have come across as tone deaf, and I certainly was. It’s a big change for me, yes, I can see how ridiculous I was coming across, it was a silly stupid blind panic. Reading through the thread has really opened my eyes and am grateful that I wasn’t roasted as much as I could have been.

I hope your daughter is either able to get into work or gets her PIP back.

OP posts:
DevonCreamTeaPlease · 07/04/2025 19:05

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 18:44

Mmmmm nope, never had to budget, embarrassing now I think of it.

That's unusual.

How come?

Did you never live as a single person, earning your own income and paying for accommodation?

Did your parents give you an allowance?
Did you live with them till you moved in with your partner? (Assume you're not married as you say P.)

It's very unusual nowadays.

I had to budget from leaving home at 18, went to uni and married at 30.
So I had 12 years of budgeting, first as a student then when I was working, from 21. Paying for rent, a car, holidays, everything.

ThatGladTiger · 07/04/2025 19:09

Do you have an online banking app? Most of them now have a “spending” tab when you go into your account. It sorts things out into shopping, food, bills etc. Go back and sort your transactions and see what your spending.

I was amazed by how much all the food added up to once you add all the little bits in!

KateArnott · 07/04/2025 19:12

Gosh. That’s more than my household monthly income. We manage to pay our mortgage, bills and food etc. with less than that each month!

FedUpandEatingChocolate · 07/04/2025 19:16

Er that's more than my salary before any expenses 😅

DevonCreamTeaPlease · 07/04/2025 19:17

KateArnott · 07/04/2025 19:12

Gosh. That’s more than my household monthly income. We manage to pay our mortgage, bills and food etc. with less than that each month!

But mortgages vary hugely.
I know of people with mortgages of £400 a month and others paying £3K a month.

Location and property costs vary hugely.

pistachiosanscream · 07/04/2025 19:26

One thing to be aware of is while you don't want your husband to have any stress, you do need to bring him on tis journey with you or he will cause you stress.

If he's been a free spender then he may not realise he has to cut back and the opposite may be true also. If he thinks he now has no money to spend then even small purchases could cause stress. So make sure you setup your budget together and that you are on the same page about needs and wants and prioritise saving for the important things.

LindorDoubleChoc · 07/04/2025 19:36

DevonCreamTeaPlease · 07/04/2025 19:17

But mortgages vary hugely.
I know of people with mortgages of £400 a month and others paying £3K a month.

Location and property costs vary hugely.

Medal for THE most irrelevant comment on the thread goes to @DevonCreamTeaPlease. "But mortgages vary hugely" no shit Sherlock.

BountifulPantry · 07/04/2025 19:37

You’re getting a hard time on this thread OP, but I’m sure you can do it! Keep it simple!

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 07/04/2025 19:48

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 11:16

We do, we have a wealth manager and we are speaking to him this week. My anxiety took the better of me at the weekend.

Shark Jumped @ wealth manager lol

How do you and hubby manage to survive in your "BIG IMPORTANT JOBS" that MUST require a certain level of intelligence and yet between you both you are incapable of working out your budget 😆

Is that why hubby is stressed and has to leave, because he was promoted beyond his ability?

Manthide · 07/04/2025 20:21

DiaryofaProvincialLady · 07/04/2025 19:48

Shark Jumped @ wealth manager lol

How do you and hubby manage to survive in your "BIG IMPORTANT JOBS" that MUST require a certain level of intelligence and yet between you both you are incapable of working out your budget 😆

Is that why hubby is stressed and has to leave, because he was promoted beyond his ability?

Dd2 has married into a wealthy family so having been entitled to fsm and living in a council house, 6 of us in a 3 bed house it has been a culture shock. They decided to buy ds some good quality shoes, coat etc for his 18th birthday and her dh never looked at a price label once!

Eastertidings · 07/04/2025 20:32

DevonCreamTea these people exist! I went to a state grammar school, so it was a mixed bag.

The posher kids, well spoken, with grandparents buying them their brand new first car on the 17th birthday, their parents paying for driving lessons, taxing, insuring, servicing and repairing it, giving them a petrol allowance each week, as well as a clothing allowance and a going out allowance, plus handing over money for anything else they needed on an ad-hoc basis. Fully funded through university, first job a fairly good one due to connections, not having to pay rent to live with their parents throughout their 20s and still being handed money on a regular basis despite working full time. Moved out when they'd saved a deposit for a mortgage.

There were people like me, parents with an average home, given £5/wk pocket money and with a £6/wk paper round. Able to help myself to whatever food was around, clothed with necessities and basic toiletries in the bathroom for everyone. Everything else I had to pay for with my own money. Left school, no encouragement to go to university and I was desperate for some freedom that a wage would bring, got a basic first job paying £2/hr, handed over a third of my wages to parents. We didn't have a phone in the house until I was 10, long after most I knew. Moved out into a rented houseshare, regularly moved jobs to increase my salary a bit.

Then a few like my friend, living in a 3bed council house with 5 siblings and parent/step parent. Cereal for breakfast, home made sandwiches for lunch and an evening meal if you were home for it. She didn't touch any other food without asking first. Working two jobs (one a few eves, one weekends) and apart from the food and school uniform, having to pay for everything else herself. The youngest child was 7 but they still owned a pram - to load up with shopping so they didn't have to carry it home, no car. The phone in her house had a slot for your 10p and was set up so when the other party picked up they couldn't hear you until you pressed the money in, it was the only way her mother could be certain of paying the phone bill. After working in the shop for 10yrs she was manager by her mid 20s and living in the flat above as a perk.

I can well imagine the first lot never learning to budget at all, depending on the path their lives took. Whereas people like me and my friend grew up with it.

OP one thing you might notice is not just feeling out of step with your friends but having to take measures to ensure they don't spend your money for you. Eg by borrowing something and forgetting to return it then losing it, meaning you've to buy another. Organising group events with no thought to money then presenting you with a bill for your share when it's too late to pull out. Stuff like that can seriously mess up your budget and if you were actually poor, could lead to financial disaster. In your case it'll probably just mean the frustration of being absolutely broke next month because you overspent this month, but even so, it's not something you can financially absorb every month. Beware the temptation to put everything on a credit card and worry about it later because you earn well. It's easy to get out of your depth. Or things don't go the way you planned in a year's time and now you're in the same situation only with a pile of debt, making everything so much harder.

Temporaryname158 · 07/04/2025 20:39

For perspective I earn your ‘spending money’ and have to pay for an adult and 2 children from that including all bills, mortgage, Christmas, birthdays holidays, run a car etc.

kindly, you are being ridiculous!

put half your £2200 in savings, plan a shop based on what you will eat each day (include making lunch for work etc) and the rest is split in half and consider that your spending money. You have obviously been extremely privileged to always spend what you want and never look at the price of anything or seek the best deal….you need to change that.

CherryBlossomPie · 07/04/2025 20:49

😂

After all my bills and food and debts and the gym are paid, I have £190 a month for social life, holidays, haircut, dentist, birthdays, clothes, makeup, skincare.

I do an annual 5 day all inclusive to a hot country, very cheap home hairdresser who pops round etc. You cut your cloth.

You will be fine.

Bearlady · 07/04/2025 20:54

100percenthagitude · 07/04/2025 18:49

With your level of confidence (high), self awareness (none) and emotional intelligence (screaming into the void) I am guessing you are public school educated! 🤣

@100percenthagitude please don't assume all people who have been privately educated are like the OP.

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 21:19

DevonCreamTeaPlease · 07/04/2025 19:05

That's unusual.

How come?

Did you never live as a single person, earning your own income and paying for accommodation?

Did your parents give you an allowance?
Did you live with them till you moved in with your partner? (Assume you're not married as you say P.)

It's very unusual nowadays.

I had to budget from leaving home at 18, went to uni and married at 30.
So I had 12 years of budgeting, first as a student then when I was working, from 21. Paying for rent, a car, holidays, everything.

Edited

Yes that is right, family assistance.

OP posts:
DevonCreamTeaPlease · 07/04/2025 22:17

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 21:19

Yes that is right, family assistance.

There is a big difference between parents helping out and bringing up a child who learns how to handle money and budget, wouldn't you say?

If your parents over-indulged you by supporting you from when you left school to moving in with your partner, you've not learned the hard lessons of life.

They may have thought they were 'helping' but the reality is they were preventing you from learning to cope with life's hard knocks.

My children are adults and we've given some financial support but never to the extent where life was so easy they didn't need to work hard, save and live within a budget.

SuffolkUnicorn · 07/04/2025 22:22

Have a big goady mumsnet salad

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 22:23

DevonCreamTeaPlease · 07/04/2025 22:17

There is a big difference between parents helping out and bringing up a child who learns how to handle money and budget, wouldn't you say?

If your parents over-indulged you by supporting you from when you left school to moving in with your partner, you've not learned the hard lessons of life.

They may have thought they were 'helping' but the reality is they were preventing you from learning to cope with life's hard knocks.

My children are adults and we've given some financial support but never to the extent where life was so easy they didn't need to work hard, save and live within a budget.

Edited

You are very presumptive, I do and have always worked very hard.

OP posts:
Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 22:24

Bearlady · 07/04/2025 20:54

@100percenthagitude please don't assume all people who have been privately educated are like the OP.

Yeah - most are like me…..😭

OP posts:
TooFancyNancy · 07/04/2025 22:25
Larry David Hbo GIF by Curb Your Enthusiasm

I wish I had that before bills,..

Isitenough2250 · 07/04/2025 22:43

Eastertidings · 07/04/2025 20:32

DevonCreamTea these people exist! I went to a state grammar school, so it was a mixed bag.

The posher kids, well spoken, with grandparents buying them their brand new first car on the 17th birthday, their parents paying for driving lessons, taxing, insuring, servicing and repairing it, giving them a petrol allowance each week, as well as a clothing allowance and a going out allowance, plus handing over money for anything else they needed on an ad-hoc basis. Fully funded through university, first job a fairly good one due to connections, not having to pay rent to live with their parents throughout their 20s and still being handed money on a regular basis despite working full time. Moved out when they'd saved a deposit for a mortgage.

There were people like me, parents with an average home, given £5/wk pocket money and with a £6/wk paper round. Able to help myself to whatever food was around, clothed with necessities and basic toiletries in the bathroom for everyone. Everything else I had to pay for with my own money. Left school, no encouragement to go to university and I was desperate for some freedom that a wage would bring, got a basic first job paying £2/hr, handed over a third of my wages to parents. We didn't have a phone in the house until I was 10, long after most I knew. Moved out into a rented houseshare, regularly moved jobs to increase my salary a bit.

Then a few like my friend, living in a 3bed council house with 5 siblings and parent/step parent. Cereal for breakfast, home made sandwiches for lunch and an evening meal if you were home for it. She didn't touch any other food without asking first. Working two jobs (one a few eves, one weekends) and apart from the food and school uniform, having to pay for everything else herself. The youngest child was 7 but they still owned a pram - to load up with shopping so they didn't have to carry it home, no car. The phone in her house had a slot for your 10p and was set up so when the other party picked up they couldn't hear you until you pressed the money in, it was the only way her mother could be certain of paying the phone bill. After working in the shop for 10yrs she was manager by her mid 20s and living in the flat above as a perk.

I can well imagine the first lot never learning to budget at all, depending on the path their lives took. Whereas people like me and my friend grew up with it.

OP one thing you might notice is not just feeling out of step with your friends but having to take measures to ensure they don't spend your money for you. Eg by borrowing something and forgetting to return it then losing it, meaning you've to buy another. Organising group events with no thought to money then presenting you with a bill for your share when it's too late to pull out. Stuff like that can seriously mess up your budget and if you were actually poor, could lead to financial disaster. In your case it'll probably just mean the frustration of being absolutely broke next month because you overspent this month, but even so, it's not something you can financially absorb every month. Beware the temptation to put everything on a credit card and worry about it later because you earn well. It's easy to get out of your depth. Or things don't go the way you planned in a year's time and now you're in the same situation only with a pile of debt, making everything so much harder.

Thanks I appreciate your comment.

OP posts:
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