To think my manager doesn’t value my time by constantly cancelling or failing to show up?

[TealDreamer]

I’m getting increasingly frustrated with my manager’s behaviour and I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable for expecting better.

She regularly cancels one-to-one meetings at the very last minute - often after they’re meant to have started - or simply doesn’t show up at all. When I try to rebook, it’s radio silence. This isn’t a one-off, it’s a consistent pattern.

Sometimes she’ll throw in a last-minute invite with no explanation, expect me to be free, and if I’m not, she’ll just cancel again. There’s no apology, no acknowledgement - just this ongoing lack of respect for time and planning. The most recent one was cancelled literally at the time it was supposed to start, with a vague “book another one later” message.

It makes me feel like my time doesn’t matter and that I’m not a priority - despite being in a role that’s new, demanding, and where I could really use her input. I’m expected to figure things out alone but still be completely available to her when it suits her.

AIBU to think this is not just poor management but actually disrespectful? And that I deserve more consistency and professional courtesy than this?

Does she do this with everyone or just you?

I’m the newest on the team, so I can’t say for sure if she treats others this way but from what I’ve experienced, it very feels like it’s just me. What makes it worse is that when I try to take initiative or ask for clarity, she either ignores it or vaguely palms it off onto someone else.

I get the sense that she might be overwhelmed or disorganised but it doesn’t justify the constant last-minute cancellations and lack of basic communication. It’s exhausting trying to do my job properly without knowing it or when I’ll get the support I need.

There was one time she restarted a one-to-one meeting three times because she had to message or call other people. She kept dropping out, saying she needed to do something, then rejoining briefly before leaving again. It was chaotic and honestly, a bit humiliating. It really gave the impression that my time and presence didn’t matter at all.

She sounds useless, but I'm not sure what you can do about it if you're quite new. See what happens with others

My manager does exactly the same thing.

Simply put, he feels that his time is more valuable than mine.

It's not. Which is why I'm searching for another role. It's an utter lack of respect, and extremely frustrating

It's just makes him look incompetent, disorganised and as I said, like he doesn't value my time

Great traits in a boss!

🤔

YANBU! She is your manager and is clearly not managing you effectively. Do you have any kind of manager higher up the chain that you could discuss this with? Could you raise a grievance with HR? Is there a demonstrable impact on your performance e.g. missed deadlines, missed opportunities such as sales? I realise that some of these sound quite extreme but, by the sounds of it, if you try to discuss it with her she’ll just be unavailable - again!

That sounds very frustrating and doesn’t bode well for the role. Not much you can do to make her change, though. I would try talking to other members of the team, see how successful you think you can be in that position without her input, given the rest of the team, and if it doesn’t look good, start searching for another position. Moving fast doesn’t normally look great on a CV but if you don’t have a history of short stints, doing it once shouldn’t be a significant detriment.

@TealDreamer
>> AIBU to think this is not just poor
>> management but actually disrespectful?
>> And that I deserve more consistency
>> and professional courtesy than this?

Document everything ... keep a work diary or a day book.

If her flaky behaviour does not improve, you may be part of a scapegoating scheme on her part.

Can you trust any other colleagues with whom you can discuss this? Does your organisation have a number of people in the HR Dept?

Yes ... you do deserve QUALITY consistency ... as opposed to flaky or disjointed support.

Her professional courtesy seems to be, to be blunt, 5h1thouse!

How big is your organisation? Could you complain directly to her once, then suggest that your line management and function be moved to someone wjo actually has the capacity to manage it?

Agree it is unacceptable.

Sounds to me the kind of person promoted to be a manager because of technical skills or as some form of reward for being excellent in a previous job. I could be wrong of course.

Hope somehow you can get this sorted out.

Do you work in a highly technical field? Some managers in highly technical fields are managers on the basis of their technical skills, rather than their managerial skills.

I worked with someone like this for a bit and it was awful. I ended up finding a new job internally and wasn’t able to tell her face to face as she missed a total of five attempts to meet with her by either cancelling or no-showing. It was such a relief to get away from her.

Sorry OP, it’s horrible working with someone like this. Is there anyone else you can talk to? Who does she report to?

Mine is the same, though she does it for everyone, she arranges meetings, such as , appraisals, 1-1 meetings and never appears, ypu go and find her and she says oh I’ll reschedule it!

she’s so unorganised it’s unbelievable.

Omg my blood is boiling just reading that. So disrespectful.

In fact OP I’m wondering if it’s the same person I worked with. Does their name begin with A?