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AIBU?

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Original poster

To change DS school to none Catholic

15 replies

Redspottyfrog · 06/04/2025 19:14

DS started high school in september. Moved from a catholic primary and I am a catholic. We go to church about once a month.

everything is fine but one thing is causing a major problem- RE.
When DS started he had a great teacher for a month before they moved into sets who made the lesson fun. Now he has another teacher for RE who is really boring (I can understand this having met her)
DS has decided he does not believe in God which is fine completely his choice. However the push back against RE is huge. He hates it and he hates the homework (seems to get more RE than anything else). The other religious aspects of the school he is ok with it’s just the RE itself. Now it’s exams coming up and I must admit the revision homework set for RE compared to all the other subjects is really excessive. It’s getting to the point where he is getting really upset and crying and frustrated that he does not want to do it and he does not see why he has to do it. He said to me is Maths and English not more important?
he is does not get upset about any other homework or revision just the RE. Has anyone else found this? Has anyone actually ever moved a kid for this reason?
he has made friends and is doing well it’s just this RE getting him in such a state.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redspottyfrog · 06/04/2025 19:15

the amount of RE revision seems to have really hit the touch paper with him

OP posts:
AlisounOfBath · 06/04/2025 19:23

What year is he in? Year 7? Email the head of department and ask for clarification about how much hw he’s meant to be getting - don’t say “I want to complain” say “I want to understand the homework allocation because it’s taking DS a long time and he’s feeling overwhelmed with it”. Most schools have a policy of how many hours per subject. Maybe this teacher is setting over the allocation? Or maybe the teacher is saying “you can do x y and z for revision” and he’s heard it as “you MUST do x y and z”. If he’s otherwise happy don’t move him. It seems a bit daft to do that because of one teacher. There’s no guarantee that he wouldn’t find a similar issue elsewhere. He probably won’t have that teacher much longer anyway and if he does the bare minimum just to get through the next term, so be it. So long as he’s working hard at everything else.

Apricotfuzz · 06/04/2025 19:27

It's a Catholic school, if you would rather a secular state school, move them. It's no big deal. But leave Catholic schools to teach their faith. It's not fair to demand they dilute their teaching which will be milktoast enough as it is.

babyandtoddlergrwp · 06/04/2025 19:44

You cant move school just because your child doesn’t like one teacher and one subject. What does that teach him? What if he doesn’t like the maths set up in the next school will you move him
again?
Teach him to sort out his problems (with your help) in situ rather than running away.

Eenameenadeeka · 07/04/2025 09:54

I wouldn't move school over it, there will be teachers he won't like and homework at other schools as well and aren't all his friends there ?

Sofiewoo · 07/04/2025 09:55

There will be subjects he didn’t like that he just has to suck it up and get on with.

Non catholic schools will still teach RE.

ExtraOnions · 07/04/2025 09:58

…are you going to do that with every topic he doesn’t like ? What if he suddenly starts hating Maths, or English ?

He’ll still study RE at a non-Catholic school.

XWKD · 07/04/2025 10:05

That seems like a lot, but it could be down to the individual school. A friend of mine is an RE teacher in a Catholic school. It's in Ireland so it might be different, but the RE is about religions in general. It's the same class for Catholics, Muslims, Jews etc. Catholics have special classes to prepare for First Communion, and Confirmation.

CurlewKate · 07/04/2025 10:32

It depends what is meant by RE. RE as a subject is interesting and useful and actually compulsory until GCSE level. RE as in being expected to follow a particular faith is something different and your child has a right to refuse to do it. If that means another school so be it.

Bluevelvetsofa · 07/04/2025 10:34

There’s one term until the summer, then he’ll be in Year 8. Probably a different teacher, certainly different lessons and perspective.

RoundSquareWithTriangles · 08/04/2025 12:12

Isn't it normal to have at least one teacher you don't really click with?

You don't love every work colleague you ever have.

Unless there are other issues there's no way you should change schools.

Jollyjoy · 08/04/2025 12:18

Surely he just doesn’t apply himself and fails RE? This seems like a good teaching opportunity to help him learn sometimes you just deal with stuff you don’t like and don’t let it get to you so much.

x2boys · 08/04/2025 12:33

That seems strange my son also went to a catholic school ,and decided he was atheist he had to Do RE GCSE but there was certainly no more RE homework than any other subject.

twoshedsjackson · 08/04/2025 12:40

I agree about querying the amount of revision politely; the teacher may well have not been clear enough about what are useful suggestions and what is compulsory.
Funnily enough, this triggered a long-forgotten memory for me, and it was RE homework rather than revision. We were asked to look up Messianic prophecies from the Old Testament, and write them out.
Fair enough, but I think, rather than preparing her lesson plan and consequent homework realistically, the teacher tagged it on to the end of the lesson, and got caught up in "and another thing" mode.
I was in the First Form (Year 7 in old money!) and keen to do well, but like your son, I ended up in tears over that weekend.
My DM, who was usually no-nonsense "homework is homework, do as you're told" took pity when she realised that actually, just ploughing through the Old Testament to find the references, before even setting pen to paper to write them out, easily took up the 30 minutes allocated to that subject's homework.
I don't know if other parents also complained, but I had a basically decent rep as a pupil who did their homework reliably, and we were never given such a task again.
In the Second Form, another teacher took over the subject with us, and we were never taught by her again.
I would be cautious about moving your son because of one subject and one teacher, but you should talk this through with him.
The response you get from the Head of Department will give you a better idea of how you want to move forward.

Snorlaxo · 08/04/2025 12:46

Considering the number of subject teachers, I think it’s normal to have a teacher or two that you don’t like. RE is studied at non-religious schools too btw. He might even be forced to take it at GCSE too.

Personally I think that he should suck it up for one more term as he’ll probably have a different teacher in September.

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