To think these people don’t have autism

[Mylovemine]

Yesterday I joined a small community online for other people with autism. It’s not about autism specifically, it’s essentially a befriending group.
They were accepting of me at first.
I noticed they spoke about people behind their back as soon as they left which I called them out on and they were also really into watching morbidly obese people online and mocking them. They made mean jokes which I couldn’t recognise which caused issues as I “couldn’t take a joke”. They were nasty to each other and would fight and then go back to normal. There were a few other things but to summarise it they had a way of speaking with eachother that I couldn’t relate to/recognise . They would exclude me in the conversation by only talking to each other as if I wasnt there. They were also very over bearing by trying to provoke me for calling them out on what they were doing.

I have left and it’s behind me, but can autistic people be like this?

Autistic people are just like normal people in the sense you will get all sorts of personalities etc. I went to a school back in the day for those with nd, you had bullies, being excluded groups, dark jokes etc nothing of what you’ve said implies they’re not autistic

No idea if they’re autistic or not - but certainly they are not kind . Block and move on - not the kind of people I’d want to hang around .

I have met a few teens with autism, yep wide range, from the big kind, soft, to the manipulative, moody and very dark.

I cannot abide groups like that because they’re full of all the moronic self-proclaimed ‘neurospicy’, ‘neurosparkly’ or ‘it’s my super power’ people. Those people are not people I wish to be associated with.

Autistic does not equal angelic, does it, though my ND one is an angel and angelic. They are still humans and see the world and others through the morals they got. Strangely why this word is not used anymore

If you're saying can autistic people be unkind, then yes they can.

My DS2 is autistic, and although he is not deliberately unkind, some of his comments can be quite cutting as he is very matter of fact and doesn't always understand that his comments can hurt feelings.

Autistic or not, it sounds like you stumbled upon an established group of arseholes. It's not you, it's them op x

Yes, I work with two women who are autistic. One is lovely, the other is not, to say the least.

Yes they could be autistic, everyone has different personalities but they don’t sound very nice. I would avoid that group.

Can autistic people be dicks?

Anyone can be a dick. Including someone with autism. It's not a comorbidity or anything. It's just that some people are dicks.

Unfortunately there is no real way to test for most mental health conditions so people can be misdiagnosed. There can be a lot of overlap between female autism symptoms and bpd or emotionally unstable personally disorder. Also there are people who label themselves as autistic without consulting a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. In short, just because someone tells you they are autistic doesn't guarantee they actually are.

"normal people"?

I'm not sure why you think any of that behaviour means they can't be autistic.

Like neurotypical people, autistic people come in all shapes and sizes, with different personalities, interests, lifestyles, hobbies, senses of humour etc.

I'm autistic myself, by the way. They just sound like arseholes. It has nothing to do with the autism.

My ex was autistic and she was AWFUL!
If you're asking can autistic people be awful then yes they absolutely can. And they can also be lovely, and everything in between.

With this group it may be that insecurities (autism related or not) mean that one just leads and tbe others follow (with the conversation and interests etc)?

These people just aren't the group for you.

I work with people with autism, many young who attend colleges specially for people with autism and other disabilities. The bullying is even worse than NT places for various reasons, particularly with social media.
On an individual basis most of them are so lovely though.

yes normal people without a disability, as I said im autistic this is the language that I use, I cba with language policing report my post if it offends you.

I agree. Let’s face it. Autistic people aren’t ‘normal’ because ‘normal’ is considered to be neurotypical. Anyone with a diagnosis of autism is therefore not ‘normal’.

If I were ‘normal’ I wouldn’t have the many difficulties related to autism that I have.

I have a friend who hurt me deeply - lived with me for 18 months, made fun of my weight and my inability to understand intellectually stimulating conversations 😆, was generally horrible to me and took advantage of the free accommodation I was providing to her. She is autistic. She hid behind her diagnosis and blamed many of her traits on it, like being “brutally honest”. So yes, autistic people can be horrible just like neurotypicals.

I didn’t realise that someone with autism could also be so nasty and provoking fights
i guess their nasty little group works for them but it isn’t for me

I went to school/ college with a lot of nd people (specialist school) and yes, bullying was rife and some were very nasty. I don’t think I have autism (I have severe OCD and social phobia though) but most of my good friends have. I think I get where you are coming from because often when I meet someone who is autistic, I notice a big sense of relief when I realise how straightforward they will be to get along with. They generally don’t do things like start conversations with you, act friendly then complain behind your back that you keep talking to them even though they don’t want you to, for example. They are the people I like being with best because there’s no double meanings, if you don’t want to talk there are comfortable silences, and just being able to be yourself. I am wary of everyone at first. After I have gotten to know someone and I trust them, I know they are easy to be with and talk to, and are just sort of on my wavelength, in my head I call them “safe people” - they are usually nd. But I have also known people on the spectrum who are very, very “unsafe” and they can be way worse than nt people occasionally. So, yes the people you describe could be nd imo but at the same time I get why you ask. Equally they may not be nd at all. Best to stay away from them anyway. They sound horrible x

YABU.

Autistic people can be/do ANYTHING.

Regardless of autism, these people are twats.

You're best off out of that, OP.

Autism has nothing to do with being nice.

Why do you appear to think autistic people can't be arseholes? 😳

Weird.

That’s because nowadays online certain communities act like being ND means you have no other human, mundane faults.

Most people gossip. ND or not.

YABU someone can be autistic and also be a total asshole. It sounds like this group is full of them.
I hope you find something else and meet some nicer people.