To seek genetic testing?

[Nopeeking]

I have three kids (17, 16 and 13). My 16 and 13 year old are both autistic and have adhd. They were diagnosed at 6 and 3. The 13 year old is profoundly autistic and will require care for the rest of their life, they are incredibly challenged (no speech, severe behavioural issues) and as a result our life has been massively impacted.

Our 16 year old has said it’s unlikely they would ever want children due to the concern that they’d have a child like their younger sibling but this could change. Our 17 year old wants children in the future. I know autism isn’t completely genetic but I have wondered if it is worth looking at genetic testing to see if there are any genes that can be picked up so my 17 year old can make an informed decision when they’re older.

What do people think? Would it be unreasonable do seek genetic testing?

I wouldn’t want if possible my eldest to experience the life I’ll be living until I die. I appreciate they might not have a child with autism but they do have direct siblings with autism so it feels like there is a higher chance.

It's a difficult one...

We opted for genetic testing (I had to really push for it) on our middle child who is more severely affected by autism than his two brothers.

We found out he had a gene change which is really rare and further testing was inconclusive as to whether he had the associated condition. However, we also found out that it is a first generation gene issue, meaning that neither I nor dh has it, so not inheritable if his brothers decide to have kids.

They didn't find any gene faults which would have caused the autism but it was a relief to know that the gene defect was just a fluke of nature.

Genetic testing is still developing and can't locate unknown gene changes, but I'm glad we did it.

It might be something for your dc to consider before they decide to have dc maybe.