Were we BU asking to move tables?

[FurFangsPawsAndClaws]

As today was a lovely sunny day me and DP went to have lunch in a pub and sat in the small beer garden.

The pub was busy and we were sat next to a couple with 3 children, two girls around 4 and 6 and a boy of around 8/9.

The parents were chatting and the kids were running around the tables, shouting and fighting with each other and at one point picking flowers until they were asked to stop. The staff came over in the end and asked the parents to try to keep them sat at the table because staff were bringing food out.

We were just trying to ignore them, there was another table to move to but we decided to wait until our food arrived first as staff knew where we were sitting.

The kids started coming to our table when their parents still weren’t interacting with them after they had been told to stay by their own table, we had a quick conversation but then said they needed to go to their own table as we were going to have our lunch. The eldest girl said that they would just sit and share with us because their parents wouldn’t mind. We were trying to be polite but at that point I just said we wanted to sit by ourselves.

When our food came out the kids all came flocking back over to the table and I knew we weren’t going to get any peace so I said to the staff we wanted to move, they were completely understanding and it was obvious why. We moved to a different table and more people arrived and sat where we had been sitting, the children carried on hanging around them instead.

It was a bit annoying but I didn’t think it was a big issue and wouldn’t have thought anything of it but as the family were leaving the dad came over and told us it was incredibly rude how we’d behaved by being rude to his children and then pointedly asking to move. He said the kids had been trying to make friends with us and had been made to feel like a nuisance.

DP said they were his children and it wasn’t our job to entertain them, I was worried it was going to get heated but his wife came and pulled him away, she mouthed “sorry” as they left.

I don’t really think I am BU but at the same time DP said afterwards he felt a bit guilty in case we had genuinely upset the kids and it wasn’t their fault they were being ignored by their parents.

I think it wasn’t our job and I wasn’t spending my afternoon babysitting someone else’s kids because they couldn’t be arsed!

They definitely hadn’t been fed, they were asking about getting food and commenting on other people’s meals and kept asking what we were having.

That was one of the main reasons I didn’t want them sitting with us, I knew DP wouldn’t be able to eat without giving them some of our food, if he had I’d have been fuming.

I live in an area with lots of tourists and it’s common for people to just let the kids run round, I’ve never been chastised for not babysitting though!

"It makes no sense". What a stupid response.

Both children and dogs should be kept close and not bother others.

I can't stand children but I love dogs. I'm not wrong how I feel, not are you. Both make sense. Variety is the spice of life, or maybe not in your case. Probably order a korma at the indian

It also would have been fine for you to tell them you were having a date and for them to buzz off now.

God, no. Their parents were being useless melts. You don’t go out for a meal to make friends with random kids - what an odd idea.

Maybe the dad is on here

YANBU
Kid's parents should have kept better control over them.

I too would like to see who voted YABU. I bet one of those types that thinks kids make the world go round, and not letting their kids ruin a private meal is the same as being told you should keep them in a basement at home.

Omg!!! The nerve of that man, I just can't believe it!

You were more than tolerant and patient with the kids. The father knew he was a lazy arse not entertaining his own dc and trying to alleviate his own guilt onto you. Nope yanbu

That’s quite disturbing. I mean it explains the kids behaviour, if their parents were ignoring them and they were hungry! But my god, the parents!

I'm going out to eat with DH this weekend and won't be dealing with anyone's kids. We're out to spend time together. People can parent their own kids and keep them away from me. I won't care if the kids are traumatised if I tell them to go back to their parents.

You were not at all unreasonable OP and were kind to the children.

OMG I’m cringing just reading this. I’d be absolutely mortified if my kids sat down at someone else’s table in a restaurant!! YANBU and the entitlement of the dad is off the scale

We had something similar a few years ago. We had spent the day organising mil estate a couple of days after she passed away and decided to eat out.

A very rowdy table nearby was allowing their dc to run riot, playing hide and seek around our table, interrupting us while we were discussing important issues.

I wasn't as polite as you. I walked over to the parents and told them that we were there because we were tired, hungry and very recently bereaved, and that if their dc continued to harass us at this point, unkind words would likely be said to them.

They kept the dc at the table afterwards and left fairly quickly afterwards, telling dsil while I was away from the table that I had been rude and spoiled their meal. I thought I had been rather restrained.

Yanbu

This is one of my pet peeves when adults bring kids to the pub and the kids run around like loons and start making conversation with you with no intention to stop. All the while the parents look on in adoration at how sociable there little asbo kid is - no, your kid is disruptive and has no manners! Now be a responsible adult and actually parent your kid!

I hate this too.

my own kids aren’t little anymore, but when they were I absolutely wouldn’t have let them do this, and they just knew not to.

I have a dog also, and I wouldn’t let him bug others either.

keep your family/pets close. It’s one thing being friendly and going over to say hello, or the dog trying to get to say hello and being directed back. But repeatedly is cringe.

now my kids are older, I honestly try to avoid other peoples younger children when out, I’ll be polite, say hello and chat a bit. But my younger children entertaining days are over (until grandkids if I’m lucky enough to get any obvs).

I read your post and thought you should have been firmer with the kids sooner! Father was completely unreasonable, I really don't think the children were upset.

Ugh, I'd move too. Far away!

There is no way this really happened, no Dad would be so antagonistic over something so minor as moving tables!

I'd have replied "Yes, your kids were a nuisance, as are you. Go away".

The kids were being a nuisance. You were tolerant but the parents should've pulled them back much sooner.

For me there's nothing wrong with kids running around but they shouldn't be tripping people up or interrupting conversations -- and certainly not inviting themselves to share others' food.

oh I have experienced similar

If I’m out on my own & a dog comes over I’ll be straight down on the floor making friends.

Kids, no.

I saw a toddler run behind the counter at my favourite coffee shop - she was returned very quickly & firmly to her parents.

The parents would have sued the arse off the coffee shop had the toddler got scalded.

some years ago we were in a tea shop with DB’s black lab and a baby came crawling towards us making a bee line for the dog. The mother did not appear until the baby was almost up to the dog, who was just gently thumping his tail and would not have done anything, he loved kids. But the mum was not to know that.

It's lovely his kids are confident and sociable, but they need parenting as to when is enough!!

It's great he wants his kids to make friends, he needs to take them to the playground!!

On another occasion I was sitting in there, vaguely aware of a couple of smallish children looking out of the window & then saw one child running out of the door.

Nobody else seemed to have noticed. I asked the other child who they were with, got the parents’ attention & then one of them retrieved her.

I wouldn’t have moved. Why should you!! I would have asked him to take his children back as they were disturbing your lunch.

Lazy, Lazy parents. His feral kids are going to be the next gen of ASBO teenagers