to be pissed at sister

[hackedoff247]

Will try to keep it short but....

My oldest sister lives 600 miles away from where my mum lives. I only live 5 miles from my mum. I have an arrangement with my mum whereas she take DS to school and also picks him up 4 days a week, so that I can work. On the friday mum works herself. Sis phoned beginning of week to say that she is going away this week (yest actually) and that her exDH is refusing to have their kids Thurs night even though he has then Wed and then from Friday to Monday. So sis phoned mum and asked her to come 600 miles to babysit. She has paid for her flight which is fine but her friend offered to have the kids for the night but she doesn't want to put her out but is quite happy to have mum lose a days work (friday) and leave me without childcare for the Thursday. Mum wasn't happy about it and initially said she couldn't do it then sis put guilt trip on her saying that me and her are in the same boat and solely rely on mum for sitter. I'm 5 miles down the road though not 500!

Sis's trip is work (or first day of it is work) and she's extended it for pleasure too which is why mum has to go down.

AIBU to be annoyed at her for expecting mum to drop all her commitements (and I'm not just talking about getting my DS) and travel 600 miles to babysit just because she doesn't want to put her friend out even though they offered?

Hope that makes sense

She should have asked first and then when she had no cover, arranged to come back straight after the business stuff

takes judgey hat off again

Thats what my dad said when it was all first brought up. He told my mum to tell her that she couldn't go down because she was working so she'd have to come straight back instead of staying out there.

Dad thinks she's got a new man and has taken him with her for a wee dirty weekend

Tsk - wish we could all do that

yabu

Your mum should have said no if she really didn't want to do it or lose a days pay.
You're only pissed off because it inconveniences your childcare arrangements.

Lucky you, having such a supportive Mum, many people don't.

If you had a CM and they went sick you'd be in the same situation - that's life.

Agreed, I am pissed that its inconveniencing my childcare arrangements so take that out of the equation.

I still don't think its been fair to ask my mum to make a 1000 mile round trip for less than 24 hours when someone the kids know well has already offered to have them overnight.

Just feel that it is times like this that sisters take advantage of the fact the mum feels guilty that she doesn't see the rest of the grandkids as much as she does of mine but that can't be helped - am I meant to turn down the support just because it would upset sisters who chose to live hundreds of miles away?

If you take out the childcare aspect of it the rest of it is none of your business.

True take the kids out of the equation and it isn't any of my business but at the end of the day she's my mum and I'm the only one that is here and I'm the one that she turns to when she feels cornered by one of my sisters so am I not meant pass opinion on it when she comes to me about thing?

I hope your sister is paying for your mums flights as well, otherwise that is taking the piss. I live in Europe and my ma is in the UK, and I don't ask her to come and babysit for a night, nor would I.

YANBU at all, especially as you employ your mum to do the school run. I think your sister needs to sort herself out. One of the things you accept when you live away from your family is that all the arrangements for childcare and so on come down to you, and you make sure that they are sorted before you do anything else. If I can't arrange a sitter or a sleepover if I want to go out, then dh goes alone, and I stay home. That's life!

You said that your sisters friend could only babysit for one night, but your sister is going to be away for longer than that - which is probably why she wants your Mum to come. Have you put yourself in your sister's shoes? She's on her own, her ex-p has let her down at the last minute and she was probably really looking forward to a weekend away.

If your Mum has a problem with it, fair enough, she should have it out with her.

You sniping about is just comes across as sibling rivalry to me though.

I agree with you magicmuffin
When my parents come to see me they come for 3-4 days to make it worth it their effort

The reason you would`nt ask your parents to take time off work is cos you only live 5 miles away and there is no reason to

Living 600 miles away your parents can`t nip round or just go for the day.
So they would have to take time off to go even to babysit for 1 nite.

Think you are being a bit unfair-Sorry

She is away wed, thur, fri, sat and sun. Her ex hasn't let her down - he has the kids his allocated days as per arrangement, wed, fri to mon, just wouldn't agree to have them the thurs as well. She only needs a sitter for one night. Just don't think she should have organised to extend the business trip before checking that she had someone to look after the kids.

Don't think its sibling rivarly just think its unfair but will agree to disagree

Hackedoff, your mum is trying to help both of you. Now, relax......