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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I wrong for wanting a refund?

51 replies

Badluckstreak · 05/04/2025 15:12

I am employed as a carer and I tried to support someone to an owl centre, as they love owls, have pictures of owls on their wall, etc. We paid, she went through the doors and had an anxiety attack then she came straight back out. The person has profound learning disabilities and this is clearly visible. I tried to get a refund for her, and told no as we had technically ‘entered’. So ended up paying to stand by the doors for two minutes .

OP posts:
Whatthebarnacles · 05/04/2025 18:16

Swimming baths did this to us too. Profound special needs DS - we walked in, paid, opened changing room door and my DS fully hit crisis meltdown. We left immediately. No refund. We were approx 3 mins in the building.

It's completely sad, feels very wrong, but ultimately I can't see it ever changing. We don't attempt paid-for experiences anymore.

Bumble2016 · 05/04/2025 19:30

As you had entered as a carer and therefore it was clear you were accompanying someone with additional needs, I think it would have been kind to offer you a return visit on another date.

purplecorkheart · 05/04/2025 19:39

In an ideal world they would have refunded. However in reality they are a charity probably struggling in the current climate. They upheld their side of the transaction so really did not have to refund. I would imagine that ever penny counts at the moment. Sad for your client but it is so tough for charities at the moment. I would also imagine that the onside staff would not have the authority to refund anyway.

rwalker · 05/04/2025 19:50

I’d email in explaining and ask for a return visit rather than a refund

MaMaMaMaBaker · 05/04/2025 19:52

You can ask, but no you're not entitled to that.

Contractually, they've fulfilled their end of the bargain.

They might choose to be nice though. It won't hurt anyone to ask politely. Be friendly rather than expectant.

boobybum · 05/04/2025 20:02

Well my view won’t be popular on Mumsnet but I do think that exceptions SHOULD be made for people with profound learning disabilities. I think anyone who doesn’t have to live with these difficulties should (within reason) go out of their way to make life just a tiny tiny bit easier for those that do.

menopausalfart · 05/04/2025 20:21

They should have given you one, IMO, you didn't even enter. Some people can be such jobsworths.

GeorgianaM · 05/04/2025 21:37

Could it be that the staff are just low paid workers on duty and are forbidden to issue refunds?

DDivaStar · 05/04/2025 22:09

Judgejudysno1fan · 05/04/2025 15:32

For those asking it's 1000 pounds a ticket, and 6p goes to the owls.

Eh ?

Mama2many73 · 05/04/2025 22:31

When Ds was about 10 we went to york dungeons (many years ago) We paid a lot as a family me ds and dh. Just after paying there was a sign saying once through these doors no refund will be given. We checked he really wanted to go in, yes. Sure? Yes. Got into the next room and promptly had to leave.
If this is sanctuary policy I would expect signs up saying so.

Original poster
Badluckstreak · 05/04/2025 23:33

HTH1 · 05/04/2025 17:36

Unreasonable, you took the spot so they couldn’t offer it to anyone else especially with no notice.

We were just a walk in so definitely didn’t take anyone else’s spot. I was already annoyed as she charged me an admission fee, when I should have got a free carers ticket, because I didn’t have a ‘professional carers card’. I had a photo of the blue badge, blue light card, my payslip but that was not sufficient. I asked what constituted a professional carers card and she didn’t even know. She clearly is disabled and needs a carer so I was disappointed a common sense approach could not be applied. Absolute jobsworth!

OP posts:
Wonderberry · 05/04/2025 23:41

Could you get a return ticket for free? If you wrote to them they may offer this.

I couldn't attend an expensive activity once due to a horrible event and I wrote to them and they allowed another visit without charge.

HeySnoodie · 05/04/2025 23:57

I think it’s mean spirited of them. I would have offered tickets to return or a full refund

ThinWomansBrain · 06/04/2025 00:05

cross posted with a reply above

NewToAllThisStuff · 06/04/2025 00:07

ThinWomansBrain · 06/04/2025 00:05

cross posted with a reply above

Edited

removed ☺️

CaptainFuture · 06/04/2025 00:14

Badluckstreak · 05/04/2025 23:33

We were just a walk in so definitely didn’t take anyone else’s spot. I was already annoyed as she charged me an admission fee, when I should have got a free carers ticket, because I didn’t have a ‘professional carers card’. I had a photo of the blue badge, blue light card, my payslip but that was not sufficient. I asked what constituted a professional carers card and she didn’t even know. She clearly is disabled and needs a carer so I was disappointed a common sense approach could not be applied. Absolute jobsworth!

Edited
Show quote history

Sorry but from that, anyone with a blue light card could go in with someone else and then say 'oh I'm their carer'.you can't charge me'?

Original poster
Badluckstreak · 06/04/2025 00:14

Whatthebarnacles · 05/04/2025 18:16

Swimming baths did this to us too. Profound special needs DS - we walked in, paid, opened changing room door and my DS fully hit crisis meltdown. We left immediately. No refund. We were approx 3 mins in the building.

It's completely sad, feels very wrong, but ultimately I can't see it ever changing. We don't attempt paid-for experiences anymore.

That’s awful. I wouldn’t have hesitated to give you a refund in this instance. I honestly don’t know what is wrong with some folk.. all I can think is they enjoy having some level of authority over others. I wish she had the money to attempt entry to something multiple times but sadly the majority of disabled people are very poor and about to get poorer by the looks of it 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
Badluckstreak · 06/04/2025 00:16

CaptainFuture · 06/04/2025 00:14

Sorry but from that, anyone with a blue light card could go in with someone else and then say 'oh I'm their carer'.you can't charge me'?

Show quote history

I was clearly accompanying someone with profound learning disabilities. I was clearly a carer. Anyway you could do the same with a carers card so I don’t understand your point.

OP posts:
CaptainFuture · 06/04/2025 00:21

I wouldn’t have hesitated to give you a refund in this instance. I honestly don’t know what is wrong with some folk.. all I can think is they enjoy having some level of authority over others.
Do you know if the people who you are being so derogatory and dismissive about have the level of permission and authority to make the decision to give refunds?

SleeplessInWherever · 06/04/2025 09:50

Badluckstreak · 06/04/2025 00:16

I was clearly accompanying someone with profound learning disabilities. I was clearly a carer. Anyway you could do the same with a carers card so I don’t understand your point.

Edited
Show quote history

They were possibly looking for a work ID card.

We take my stepsons DLA info and blue badge when we go out, that usually works (we’re not employed carers so wouldn’t have a card).

It’s rubbish, but unfortunately the world doesn’t have to adjust its guidelines/rules and sometimes - it doesn’t. We have to accept that on behalf of my stepson, as it’s not the Zoo’s fault (for example) that he’s disabled and they don’t have to refund us for barely making it past the gate. Rules are rules, and unfortunately they usually apply to everyone.

faerietales · 06/04/2025 09:53

I wouldn’t have hesitated to give you a refund in this instance. I honestly don’t know what is wrong with some folk.. all I can think is they enjoy having some level of authority over others.

The workers you're criticising and sneering about probably don't have the authority to give refunds.

menopausalfart · 06/04/2025 12:23

If they didn't have the authority to give a refund, surely they could contact somebody who did. Some people on here have no idea what it's like to live with a profound disability. People do have the ability to make life just a tiny bit easier and more accessible, but choose to do nothing.

Shamwish · 06/04/2025 12:36

faerietales · 06/04/2025 09:53

I wouldn’t have hesitated to give you a refund in this instance. I honestly don’t know what is wrong with some folk.. all I can think is they enjoy having some level of authority over others.

The workers you're criticising and sneering about probably don't have the authority to give refunds.

And it's fine that you 'wouldn't have hesitated', but it's not your place either. You're don't even have the role, let alone the authority!

Original poster
Badluckstreak · 06/04/2025 13:54

menopausalfart · 06/04/2025 12:23

If they didn't have the authority to give a refund, surely they could contact somebody who did. Some people on here have no idea what it's like to live with a profound disability. People do have the ability to make life just a tiny bit easier and more accessible, but choose to do nothing.

exactly… can’t authorise a refund, then Contact someone who can.

OP posts:
SurnameChanged · 06/04/2025 13:57

What a shame they didn’t do the decent thing. Hope you are both ok now.