Generally good husband being unsupportive

[AloneMarried]

I don’t know how to feel about my husband. I’m posting NC here for traffic but am a regular user.

DH has never been particularly supportive. Always great if he’s getting his own way but if not quite selfish.

He’s recently started a bit of the silent treatment if he’s feeling put out. Eg. He felt I was criticising him (I actually wasn’t but he perceived I was). This resulted in sulking and silent treatment for about 6hrs! I was pulling my hair out by the time I found out what the problem was. This is a new thing, we’ve been together a long time.

Another worrying thing - I’m having difficulty with my boss. Work related and while I’m dealing with it I could just do with a bit of emotional support. I get zero. He won’t even listen to me about it - just says nothing or, again sulks until the subject is changed.

We have a generally good relationship, been together over 12 years and I don’t just want to leave as there’s a lot of good.

You can't change him. Find someone else to talk to. It's easier.

Sorry OP, but it's really hard to see why you would label him as a "generally good" husband and then proceed to describe a totally shit one.

He sounds horrible

You say that this is a new thing OP, I know that people do have a tendency to jump to conclusions on MN, but a change in attitude with a partner, does quite often tend to indicate an affair is either going on, or brewing. Could this be a possibility?

It doesn’t sound like a ‘generally good relationship’ to me…

Silent treatment is a well known abuse tactic.

Grown ups in good relationships talk through their issues open and honestly in a calm and mature manner; what you’re describing isn’t a good relationship.

That is not ‘generally good’, is it?!

In what ways is he a generally good husband?

He sounds like a right dickhead.

He probably is a bit of a dickhead at times. But then so am I. I describe him as generally good as he’s not always like this, he’s funny, we like the same things, he’s good company, we enjoy each others company most of the time. He doesn’t get on my nerves usually. I know I’m not setting the world alight but who does?

This is quite new behaviour but I don’t think it’s an affair (I could be very wrong). He’s always been a bit crap to talk to about serious stuff.

Am I wrong in thinking most people live generally happy lives together with ups and downs? Or is everyone deliriously happy and I’m missing out?

My husband is crap at emotional support but my best friend is awesome so balances out.