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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mum guilt

3 replies

Mumlilly · 05/04/2025 09:40

Hello everyone

just looking for some kind words and advice as well
I haven’t slept longer than 4 hours( only few times in a year) but mostly just 1-2 hours in a row and most night just 3-4 night, few nights in a month I manage to sleep 5ish hours

we had rough journeys
things are very slowly getting better but still too many challenges
anyway… I feel mum guilt almost everyday, feel like not doing good or enough for my baby, she is 13 months and breastfeeding, bottle, eating, sleeping, milestone everything. Was a challenge

milk, eating, drinking etc still very poor and sleep is next level poor

She is Velcro baby, most of day I have to hold her while doing chores or I have to turn on cartoons l( very big guilt)

gulit 2 is not providing enough variety food

she Is allergic oats, eggs and few unknown allergies, extremely picky eater, never eat more than 1-2 spoon, doesn’t like most of the food, does not drink water

I do not have time to do anything, naps are contact naps, night sleep is very big issues too, awake time she is glued to me, Does not play with toys etc, I go hungry until dad comes home
but but I feel like I am very bad mom for not providing her enough variety

Guilt 3 is not taking her out but she screams in car seat, she hates stroller after few minutes being in there

for sleep, Every single nap and sleep I have to walk her until she falls sleep( only way) and she force me to do it during night awakening( multiple sometimes more than 20)

I also have joint pain issues

M I not doing enough ?
I still do all house chores
but husband said I do nothing 😞

OP posts:
Anewuser · 05/04/2025 09:51

It sounds like you have a tricky baby but try not to hyperbole.

You can eat if you have time/are able to do chores. You can sleep/nap during the day when your baby sleeps on you.

It will get easier as she gets older. If she doesn’t like the pushchair then start little walks with her. Even if it is around the living room to start with. Eventually, you’ll be able to walk her outside. Start as you mean to go on.

If you think there is something wrong then speak to your health visitor or GP.

stayathomer · 05/04/2025 09:53

I know everyone hates this phrase but it honestly honestly gets easier op

Dawnchorussinging · 05/04/2025 09:59

The key to your problem lies in your last sentence OP.
Being a mum is hard enough and I think the majority of us feel guilt and worry they aren't doing the right thing. It's natural.
But if your H is criticising you and not supporting you then it's soul destroying.

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