Have you ever used another number to try and get in touch with a friend?

[ThatGreyReader]

Bit of a strange one, I know. But say a friend suddenly stops replying - no argument, no falling out, just silence. You’re left wondering if something happened or if you’ve done something wrong… and eventually, curiosity (or worry) gets the better of you.

Have you ever used a different number - even just once - to try and get a reply? Not to harass, not to chase endlessly… just to know.

AIBU to think that sometimes, especially when things are left unexplained, it’s human to want closure - even if it means stepping slightly outside the “etiquette” box?

No, because I’m not a psychopath nor a stalker

Christ, no. What a creepy, stalkery thing to do. At least they definitely made the absolutely right decision ghosting you. They should probably move house too.

I don't see what difference it would make as it's still you writing the message or leaving the voicenote. If you were actually intending to call then many people don't answer calls from unknown numbers and would let it go to voicemail anyway. It's a wee bit on the nutty side too tbh, trying to catch them out, when nothing's actually happened. Can't you go and see them IRL? Or write a letter?

No. Is there a mutual friend you could ask if they are ok? I can understand you wanting to know but it does seem a bit much.

You again?

This.

Not healthy behaviour, not remotely.

If you are the poster I suspect you are, no, it’s an underhand thing to do, to trick someone who has made it very clear she wants no further contact with you — as you will know, because you already did this, and she hung up on you.

Wait, what? No one has hung up on me? What the hell? I have never done this before?

Wow, nothing has happened like the story you’ve made up in your head. My post is exactly what the situation is.

I think you spend too much time on here

I've been ghosted by two (formerly good) friends. I don't know why but I assume they have their reasons and left them to it.

I'm mildly curious as to why but, whatever that reason is, it's not something I can change.

Whilst it maybe tempting to do so it would be a bad idea @ThatGreyReader this person doesn't want to know you anymore so for your own sanity you need to let them go. If you feel the need to talk things through then get a therapist but leave this poor person alone

If I was not replying to you, for whatever reason, and you did that to me, it would more or less guarantee that you wouldn't hear from me again. Send another message saying "Are you ok?" and leave it at that. It's not your right to know, however wrong you think their behaviour is.

No, because if they wanted to hear from me, they'd call me.

Nope. You're not going to get closure by tricking someone into speaking to you. I'd say using a different number goes beyond 'stepping outside the etiquette box' it's sneaky and intrusive.

I thought it was that poster too, but obviously not.
OP don’t do this. If they don’t want you to get in touch then respect the decision and move on, however hard that may be.

No. This isn't a good thing to do.

I thought it was 'that poster' too. Soon as I saw the post. 🙄

I didn’t ‘make any of it up in my head’. Perhaps you aren’t that poster, but there is a regular poster on here who posts frequently about communication issues in a friendship where she wanted more regular meetings and texts, the friend clearly felt crowded, and expressed a need for more space which the OP didn’t respect, so the friend blocked her. Her most recent post was about having phoned the friend from someone else’s number to trick her into accepting the call. In her case, the friend hung up. Which I think is your answer. She was quite aggrieved about her friend hanging up, though.

I understand your being upset but no girl, this will make you look insane xx

No, don't do that.

Leave it well alone.

(I also thought you were that poster)

What do you mean by 'another number'?

If you mean that they've not answer you on their mobile so you are going to try them on their home phone, then ok.

No, if i don't change my number they would know where to find me

Why does it seem poster's on here put their self respect on a boat and let it sail away

No.
If a friend stopped wanting to interact with me I would take the hint, delete their info and move on with my life.

No never.

If I was worried then I’d check their SM, ask a mutual friend or even consider a welfare check.

But I would never use a different number or do anything that was misleading.

Yes, I remember that poster. Full on stalker behaviour and mindset that one was.

I also thought of that poster! The way this OP is written feels very similar in tone and question.