Fat and lonely | Mumsnet

Changedasouting · 04/04/2025 17:41

Definitely I was a size 26 now a 8-10 and definitely getting more attention

Cookiecrumblepie · 04/04/2025 17:42

Yes. I think that’s a pretty well established principle

sageGreen81 · 04/04/2025 17:43

Yes deffo to be honest I’ve dropped from an 18/20 to a 16 only and I’m already seeing the attention ramp up. Just with men checking me out more.

Kitkatcatflap · 04/04/2025 17:43

I would say it's true, sad but true. In my experience, I've had more attention when slimmer. I have always thought it strange that the bigger you become, the more invisible you become.

Crazycatlady79 · 04/04/2025 17:45

Well, yeah, I think it's pretty axiomatoc (just as women tend to prefer non-obese partners).
I've been both slim and obese and got sod all attention when I was the latter.

Annascaul · 04/04/2025 17:46

It’s true, but then it’s also true in reverse, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sherrystrull · 04/04/2025 17:46

I’ve lost quite a bit of weight and it’s shocking how everyone treats you better when thinner. Everyone seems to look at you like garbage when you’re big. And being big and disabled? Treated like shit.

owlyboo · 04/04/2025 17:47

I don’t think it’s purely about size. It’s also about confidence. Do you feel more attractive/confident when you’re smaller as that will also pay into male attention.

people are attracted to all different body shapes but having a body type that is at one or the other end of the scale will cut down on the amount of people that find a person attractive but there will certainly be people who find you very attractive at a larger size im sure.

I’ve recently lost nearly 5 1/2 stone going from a size 20 to a size 10 and thin privilege is certainly a thing, I find even small things like more people stopping to let you cross the road even!

I think if you want to lose weight then do it but certainly don’t do it so you appear more attractive to the opposite sex!

im sure you’re beautiful inside and out!

Comedycook · 04/04/2025 17:49

I know several women who are roundabout your size op who have met men and got married...so, some men will be interested.

But, generally, the more of a standard size you are, the wider your dating pool will be.

Shetlands · 04/04/2025 17:52

Sadly it's true because it's based on our biology and thousands of years of evolution. Men have evolved to be attracted to women with a favourable waist to hip ratio as that's indicative of youth, good health and therefore reproductive fitness.

ExtraOnions · 04/04/2025 18:09

I’m currently a 20.. just coming up a 4 stone loss on Mounjaro .. so was a size 24 before. I’ve never gone short if male attention, regardless of my size. I’m very confident, which I think helps. I don’t feel validate by male attention, and I’m not that bothered about it (being happily married)

Isittimeformynapyet · 04/04/2025 18:15

owlyboo · 04/04/2025 17:47

I don’t think it’s purely about size. It’s also about confidence. Do you feel more attractive/confident when you’re smaller as that will also pay into male attention.

people are attracted to all different body shapes but having a body type that is at one or the other end of the scale will cut down on the amount of people that find a person attractive but there will certainly be people who find you very attractive at a larger size im sure.

I’ve recently lost nearly 5 1/2 stone going from a size 20 to a size 10 and thin privilege is certainly a thing, I find even small things like more people stopping to let you cross the road even!

I think if you want to lose weight then do it but certainly don’t do it so you appear more attractive to the opposite sex!

im sure you’re beautiful inside and out!

Why are you sure about that?

I mean, it's nice to say nice things, but do you really think people believe such baseless platitudes?

owlyboo · 04/04/2025 18:22

Isittimeformynapyet · 04/04/2025 18:15

Why are you sure about that?

I mean, it's nice to say nice things, but do you really think people believe such baseless platitudes?

Show quote history

🙄

MuffinsOrCake · 04/04/2025 18:23

I think depends on your natural charm....not meaning you don't have it. I am massive size, may be in some cases wear bigger than yours, MS 18 ?? but seems the uniforms for work say 28 ???? My husband is slim and good looking. One of my colleagues is way above me and has a lovely boyfriend also

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/04/2025 18:24

Are you actively trying to date?

Are you attracted to obese men?

Sidebeforeself · 04/04/2025 18:28

Well it’s hardly a revolutionary thought! Why do you think so much beauty / fashion “ advice” is focussed on being slimmer or looking slimmer? So we will appear more attractive to people .

JHound · 04/04/2025 18:29

It’s definitely harder to date as a fat women and you absolutely get more attention slimmer.

So I empathise.

SwanRivers · 04/04/2025 18:30

Aibu to think men just aren't interested in obese women?

Most women aren't either OP but I'm sure you know that.

Sure there's always the exception to the rule now and then, or people will come on and say their DH loves them etc.

But people are rarely attracted from the start and when asked what their 'type' is, 'obese' is rarely the reply.

I understand what you're saying totally.

Smartiepants79 · 04/04/2025 18:32

People tend to be attracted to healthy looking people. At least initially and in general terms.
Many obese people are very happily married with partners who think they are very attractive so it’s very possible to find someone to build a life with.
How you present yourself is definitely part of it.
The question of whether you find obese men attractive is also an interesting one.

rebelliousbookgirl · 04/04/2025 18:35

I’ll add that being intentional about the way you treat yourself by consciously doing things to take care of yourself also increases your confidence level which ultimately lights you up from the inside out…

I recommend 100%

JaneBoulton · 05/04/2025 14:42

I personally don't think there's anything attractive about an obese man. So I guess if you're obese your dating pool will be smaller. Of course there are me attracted to obese people and some even fetish over it.

are you attracted to obese men OP?