To think my sister should ask me before booking things!

[ThatProudSnail]

My sister text me this morning telling me she has booked for us to have our hair done next week at 9am. It’s not for anything, we go on holiday with our mum in a few weeks so she is booking us in for things to get done together like nail appointment and hair etc. she didn’t ask me if that date and time is suitable, she just told me when it would be. I don’t work but I have insomnia. I often don’t get to sleep until about 6am, so a 9am appointment won’t work for me. She knows this! I told her and she responded saying “ok I’ve changed it to 11am” no!!! What doesnt she understand about asking me what time would suit me??

Am I going crazy here?

Message back - I am perfectly capable of booking my own hair appointment?

Who goes to the bloody hairdressers together

If the time doesn't suit you, don't go. Tell her in advance so the hairdresser doesn't lose out.

Dear sis, I will make my own appointments thanks

This is what she’s like. She thinks that because I don’t work i can just attend whatever she books in for me. If I wanted my hair doing I would book it myself! She also booked the holiday herself and text me saying she’s booked it as a surprise for our mums birthday and told me how much I owe her 😐 she is paying for the hair and nail appointment for both of us “as a treat” but I’d rather her not because she just makes things more stressful

Just tell her, thanks for trying to help but it’s easier if you each book individually.

Do you even need your hair done? Tell her to cancel your appointment.
Unless there's some reason that you have to go together or she needs to book for you, she should leave well alone.
Are you sure about going on holiday with her? If she's this bossy and demanding about getting your hair done, what's she going to be like when you're away?!

It’s a lovely idea but really, it should be discussed first
“Shall we get appointments to get our hair and nails done together? What would be the best day and time for you?”
That kind of thing.

Just read your next post. Do you even want to go on holiday? Have you had any say in this?

I don’t want to go on the holiday, I am dreading it. But it is for my mums birthday and don’t want to upset her by causing drama

She will continue to book things for you both while you roll over and accept.
You don't want to go on the holiday but haven't said so
She books things on your behalf but you haven't disagreed
You need to be clearer. She maybe thinks she's doing a nice thing for your mum and a nice thing for you because you haven't told her otherwise.
Tell her you'll sort your own hair out thanks. It's probably too late to say you don't want to go on the holiday.
Is she an older sister?

I think you need to put your foot down at least once and don’t go. You approached wrongly the hair thing if you didn’t want her to book you shouldn’t have complained about the time you should have focused on her not asking you. Next time txt her that you don’t want to go to say a hairdresser at all and ask her to cancel the appointment. Then wait a few days and then call them yourself and check that appointment is canceled. Do it a few times and every time say to her: Next time please discuss things with me in advance. She will get the message and will start asking or will stop booking.
I think she does this because she is paying for things.
Is she older than you?

Don’t message back a spiteful reply. When you see her, ask her to check timings with you.

Well that’s not entirely true. My sister has been doing this for years and years. We have never got along. Almost every time we speak we have an argument. I’m only not speaking up this time because it’s my mums birthday and I’m trying not to make it about me. It doesn’t matter how many times over the years I’ve told her not to do this, how many fights we have had etc, she is still doing it. I can’t get away from her because I live with my mum and she shows up almost daily. I try to just stay out of the way in a different room

Ok. But do you go along with her when she overrides your wishes? You say you argue but are you telling her to stop doing it and then refuse to go?
I have a sibling who makes decisions affecting the wider family and is a nightmare to deal with, so I understand!

Why don't you want to go? Because of the insomnia? I can imagine it will be tricky, especially if you're sharing a room. Have you actually put into words that you don't want to go the hairdresser? She sounds like she's bulldozing you. You need to put some boundaries in place.

So just don't fall in with her organising stuff: don't turn up, she'll soon learn not to waste her time and money.

Does your sister work for BT or Openreach? They seem to believe you will always be available. Though at least your sister specifies a time, and does not call anytime between 8 and 1 an appointment.

Call the hairdresser and cancel your appointment. If you want your hair done make it for a time that suits. Don't tell your sister.