Who pays for what?

[mugginsear]

DH started a business a few years ago. It’s taken a long old time but it’s finally making money - rejoice!

Up until now, my salary and savings have been keeping things afloat at home (mortgage, DC, cars, etc) and with DH business (start up fees, rent, etc).

Now that DH has a relatively steady income, I asked how he suggests we manage finances. He’s suggested splitting things 50/50 - and I’m not sure I’m happy another that.

My earnings are capped, he has the potential to earn a lot of money but this is only because I’ve supported everything over the last few years.

AIBU to suggest we each pay a percentage of our salary into an account each month? Is this more fair?

That might bite you in the arse if he doesn't make enough money though.

Sounds fair to me but it needs regular reviews if his income is going to increase a lot

@mugginsear
I'm filled with trepidation on your behalf.

A) Is your relationship rock solid?
My inkling is you are worried about what to say and to offer as a financial ambit to your husband/partner.

B) Do you suspect, that if you propose a number or percentage of income towards household/joint expenses, then your husband may somewhat minimise his work/effort to leave you with an effectively higher burden?

C) Is he the sort of bloke who is extremely grateful for you keeping him, the relatioship, the family afloat while he went through the pain of getting the business to the earning stage?

So many things to know about your confidence in him, the business and the likely longevity of the relatonship.

If he is self employed, don't consider his "salary" as a starter for sharing costs - his salary can be whatever he likes.

I’d suggest everything going in and out of the same, joint account given you’re married.

All money pooled and then the same amount taken for each of you for personal spends

hes taking the piss

We worked out what we need to spend each month, including food, petrol, car repairs etc. and each pay half. Then we agreed how much each of us would keep for personal spending. Anything left over goes into savings.

Calculate how much set up and living costs were and suggests he pays you back for all that if he doesn't want to pool resources!

So he was happy for you to pay 100% of everything and now he has money /business going well he wants 50/50

hiw about him topping up your savings etx first with his other 50%

Don't these things just even themselves out during the course of a 20-30 year long term relationship?

Yet another reason I recommend just pooling all money jointly, all the time.

Is he going to pay you back everything you spent supporting him for years?

You're married therefore everything pooled.

Thank you for your replies.

There’s been no mention of paying me back, I don’t expect a payment plan but I do expect that we can both reap the rewards of the business.

im considering either:

1. pooling all our income into the joint account. I don’t think this will be something DH will want to do as I have savings (which I have spent on other things too) and he does not.

2. we both put in £x or x%, whichever is more.

3. we both put in £X plus x% of whatever is left each month.

I think doing a percentage somewhere makes up for a discrepancy in earnings.

I am going to have to trust that he is being honest about his earnings, I don’t feel that I can be asking to see his books and I hope he wouldn’t screw me over!

This is a bit of a tangent, but do make sure that he’s putting the correct money aside for his tax bill and he fully understands what will be due and when. Seen some previous posts where the husband has gone self-employed and has not been responsible managing their tax bill and paying themselves too high a salary, and it’s caused huge financial issues

Thank you, I’ve asked him to put 20% of his salary to one side each month. Not sure if it’s happened though!