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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS (teen) saying abusive things to me/sibling/Dad

1 reply

LoudHouseLaLa · 03/04/2025 18:38

Help please! DS has ADHD and possible high functioning autism. He’s extremely bright but quick to anger and can be verbally vile when angry. He’s 13.

He’s taken lately to (in anger) -
Telling me to jump off the stairs and break my neck (after I tried to help him find socks in his room when he couldn’t find any-he hates anyone going in his room when he’s in there although he will let me clean it when he’s in school)

He told his younger brother - k!ll yourself (in his defence his sibling was attacking him/pinching him but it’s awful what he said)

He said similar to his Dad too telling him to go …yourself. It’s awful. We’ve told him how serious the things that he’s saying are and in a few years someone could call the police got him saying such things.

I find it triggering as my husband (soon to be ex) has said similar to me in arguments like go play in traffic, go k@ll yourself and go jump off a roof. he’s been very abusive over the years (verbally not physically) but he doesn’t say these things anymore.

I worry that my sons go to when he’s angry is now verbal abuse 😔 He can’t seem to control the terrible things he says, he says he doesn’t mean it and these things just come out of his mouth.

He can also be lovely, affectionate, highly intelligent and still loves to hug myself and my husband. I worry though and it’s upsetting for my own child to say these things. Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
hereslooking · 03/04/2025 19:08

Did he hear your husband say these things to you? We’re they ever said to him? I would be concerned about the consequence of him still loving to hug a very abusive man who is soon to be leaving. Does he know you are splitting up?

And what’s the consequence for he gets for saying terrible things? I wouldn’t be making excuses, of course he can control the things he says.

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