I am in contact with my ex, let’s call him Mario, a few times a year.
We meet up and have lunch/go for a walk for a few hours. DP is aware.
We were together about 6 years ago for a few months. The sex was incredible, we both really fancy each other, have similar interests and values and had the best time. He saw a long term future, as did I.
At the time I was under the coercive control of an ex partner, Dave, who didn’t like me being in a new relationship. I felt duty-bound to try again with him. So I broke up with Mario.
I deeply regretted breaking up with Mario and when I was single again I contacted him. However, he was in a new relationship at this point and had been deeply hurt by our breakup, so concentrated on his new relationship.
Some time after this he contacted me to say he was single and the recent relationship was a big mistake.
However, I was living with my now DP, Bob, and said that I needed to concentrate on this relationship as I felt I couldn’t keep lurching from one relationship to another.
The relationship with Bob is very good in that we have a nice house, he looks after me financially and is very kind and generous and always goes out of his way to do small things to make me feel appreciated.
However, he’s not really interested in sex. Our sex life has diminished from not much in the first place, to almost nothing and it’s not passionate or exciting when we do it.
I’ve told him many times I’m unhappy with the lack of sex, but I also appreciate he shouldn’t do it if he doesn’t want to. However, I feel very lacking in that area.
Mario has made it clear he wants us to be together and regrets not taking his chance years ago.
Should I risk my comfortable life with a kind man for what could be a disaster, or a passionate happy ever after?
Mario and I are like teenagers together - butterflies, getting lost in each other’s eyes, I feel like my legs could go when I’m with him.
I’m 40’s with limited earning capacity and would have an extremely poor quality of life alone.