Physical abuse from teenagers in street

[Goldie679]

In the past 6 months I have had some very upsetting instances happen where I have been assaulted/intimidated by teenagers in the street and I have become very worried for when this will again happen to me and how I should react. For context, I am in my 20s, not very strong. I believe I am being picked on for being an easy target to intimidate and humiliate:(

the first instance I had a boy (around 16) run up to me and try to kick me in the face. He laughed with his friends after I think he just wanted to scare me and impress his friends. It really shook me up and I felt so humiliated, I did not tell many people this happened at the time. I just gave him a weird look as I know they probably want me to react and that they will take joy in seeing me upset.

The next instance happened to me yesterday as I was walking home from work along a quiet pedestrian path by a busy road. I saw a group of rowdy boys around 13/14 years old. My gut instantly knew they were going to try and humiliate me. I kept my head down listening to music and prayed they would not bother me. I was relieved to have walked past them and to have ignored them when I suddenly felt one of them slam into me from behind. I am not sure if one of them launched themselves at me or if one of them deliberately shoved the other into me. I quickly carried on to not show it bothered me as I know they want a reaction to know they upset me.

I am quite shaken by these experiences, especially this time as I just knew they were going to target me because I was a woman and they wanted to get a laugh out of intimidating me. There was nothing I could have done to avoid it and I am dreading this happening again

Aibu to not react? I really feel that if I am to say something they will ‘win’ even more and I will feel worse playing into their hands. I also think I probably can’t be physical and defend myself because they’re technically children and it may be child assult. Advice is would be much appreciated please🩷I wonder if anyone else has had to deal with this😢

That sounds really frightening. I hope you are OK. I would report both cases to the police.

You need to report them to the police, it's unlikely you're their only target.

OP please report these previous instances to the non-emergency line and to the main emergency line if it happens again.
What if that first boy had indeed kicked you in the face?
You could have been seriously injured or even dead.
Even if you report it to the non-emergency line anonymously, the police will at least be aware that this type of behaviour and intimidation is happening in your area and may up their street presence to try and tackle it.
How many stories have we seen in the news recently of teenagers behaving like this and end up killing someone? Too many.
Teenagers seem to be a different breed these days. If I’d have ever behaved like that? I reckon my own mum would have smacked me through a wall and I wouldn’t have left the house again 🫣🫣🫣🫣

OP what is happening to you is disgraceful.

By not reacting to them and scuttling away, they are winning in their own eyes. That is probably why they have done it to you again. Unfortunately, you will have to shout at them, tell them off very forcefully etc. Remind them that there are CCTV cameras everywhere, some hidden, and the police can track them down if needed if they target you again.

As others have said, do report it to the police. Hopefully, if they have the resources they may get a patrol to check on the area.

Another vote for logging these incidents with the police.
Unfortunately you may have been targeted because they have sensed your lack of confidence and they are basically bullies ie not likely to pick on someone who would stand up to them.
Have you ever considered self defence classes? These might give you more confidence and they are about defence; not assaulting an aggressor.
I hope you do report these incidents and that the police offer a visible presence to these silly but potentially dangerous teenagers.
Is a Rottweiler out of the question?

Absolutely report to the police. Get yourself a personal attack alarm with a strobe light.

Thanks everyone I am looking into anonymously reporting now. I have considered self defence classes. The issue is I don’t look intimidating at all. I am a quiet person and just want to keep to myself so I feel awkward shouting and that’s why I have not been because they’ll probably just laugh at me because I’m not an intimidating person. I don’t like that I am being forced to change who I am to try and combat this but I would like to be able to confidently stand up for myself and get them to leave me alone

I don't have an answer

But I think (sorry for the terminology): "victims" become repeat "victims"

You need to change the narrative. I know that's easy to say tapping out from a screen.

Maybe DON'T keep you head down.
STRIDE with confidence
Be on your phone. Loudly talking. "Yes, Jane, I'll be home soon, just walking past <describe location> Do it loudly

Sorry, posted before your update.

I see what you mean.

My advice remains the same, but I understand why it doesn't suit you/you don't want to take it.

I would feel comfortable doing this, I’ll try it next time. I realise now I need to make myself bigger instead of to try and shrink away from it

Maybe an odd question - but do you look like a teenager OP? It could be they think you're nearer their actual ages so they're showing off and targeting you.

It won't just be you unfortunately, it'll be anyone they think won't fight back. And I don't think you should fight back or shout at them, you are getting away from a dangerous situation and keeping yourself safe.

Report to the police, there's probably cctv or doorbell footage. Speak to your mp about it.

It sounds as though you feel you should be standing up to these bullies, this is the way to do it to help actually fix the situation.

I hope you're OK. None of it was about you or anything you did, they're just arseholes.

pretty sure I don’t look like a teenager but I do look like early 20s / nearer to their age. I do think they’re trying to show off and I am not impressed😂

Self defence classes sound like a good idea.
If nothing else it will give you confidence and hopefully feel less of a potential victim.

Little shits - I’m sorry you had to deal with this once too many.

I echo the above and would look into self defense classes, body combat aerobic classes are good too (and fun) and I know it sounds silly but yoga / pilates…..anything that will help you use your space, feel confident in yourself and stand tall.

It’s not fair you have to change but just think, it’s only for a few moments when you’re in situations like that - you’ve just got to be brave for a few minutes. And then report the little sods. Even if the police can’t do anything / so far down their list of importance- it’s important you do it. Claim back some control of the situation and you’ll feel better by doing something about it.

Call the police, and if that’s fails, practice self defence and put the little cunt on his arse, sorry for my bad language but this really annoys me, I was bullied as a child by a boy untill I filled him in, I know violence isn’t accepted but enough was enough, he sure as hell left me alone

You can buy a legal self defence spray that shoots sticky red ink at people for future identification. Also a whistle or alarm. Make yourself a very annoying target to deal with

I feel for you, OP. You shouldn’t be going through this.

My concern about self-defence is that unless you’re an expert you won’t be able to stop an attack and your efforts may provoke them to more violence.

Definitely report them to police. Try to observe any noticeable features that would help to identify them.

Don’t feel crushed by this, OP. It sounds as if they’ve made you feel weak and inadequate. You’re not. Male violence is a recognised problem, and your attackers are inadequate little shits.

Body language is very important in these situations. Avoid scurrying along with your head down. Hold your head high, keep your back straight, jut your chin out and wear 'a bitch at rest' face. They're far less likely to bother you if you appear to be someone who's not to be messed with.

There are some great classes out there OP!
Last summer, my kids’ martial arts school offered discounted classes aimed at the mums - it was a mixture of different martial arts but also had some volunteers from our local police department come in to teach us more practical, in the moment skills for situations not dissimilar to yours.
I’m in the US now, and feel incredibly grateful that the laws are different to the U.K. regarding what self-defence items can be legally carried….a little buzz of my taser will deter most people without even having to actually use it!

Change your body language and posture..Watch YouTube videos on how to project confidence.

Ahhhhh OP, I feel like I relate to what you describe in my bones... I have never been assaulted like this as an adult but I remember it SO WELL from school, walking past with head down, not here, not here and then they get you... and now, as a woman in my 30s, I am still afraid of groups of teens or men, in the street, in the park, in the supermarket. I still react the same, try to scuttle past without reacting. And the one time I did tell some teens off instead of making myself small (for dropping litter all over a playpark) I got a barrage of verbal abuse that really shook me. So I don't know if the fight back answer is a good one, really. But I think the project confidence one probably will work - through your body language, if you can. I so feel you though. Its awful, and they shouldn't be able to be this way.

One of the reasons we left the UK (or at least, one of the negatives that got put on the list when we were deciding) was I couldn't even take an evening run without getting verbal abuse from teenagers on the street. I didn't want my kids growing up thinking that was normal. For me, it ended when I completely lost my shit on them one day, turned on them and kicked one of them and made him cry. DO NOT DO THAT!!!! Luckily, Tiktok etc did not exist in 2009. But it makes me sad to think that, 15 years later, that hasn't changed.

This sounds really difficult for you. But i would also say, try not to demonise/group all teenagers in your mind and fear them all. Not all teenagers are the same just like not all adults are. I would be furious if my son behaved like this to someone, as would most families i know. Some kids are deliberately intimidating and some are just daft and not aware how their mucking about and loud voices and laughter comes across. To reassure you my son and his mates wear the same uniform as many dressed mostly in black with hoods up-but they are kind lovely lads who work hard at school. It doesnt change the negative experiences you have had, but maybe worth thinking about the next time you encounter a group.

Get this op- one spray into their face and that will teach them.