Am I being unfair to husband?

[Diplodocusplodocus]

Fully prepared to admit I’m being unreasonable- I’m tired and sick so views might be skewed!

I’m currently on mat leave with our 8 month old baby. I’ve also been ill for the past few days with a horrid bug. Today I have felt marginally better and baby was an angel and actually napped for nearly an hour this afternoon, allowing me to just lie on the sofa and rest which was massively needed.

DH has had a couple of stressful days at work. He worked from home today and ended up finishing at 4:30 and playing on his computer in his office (his way of decompressing) while I was lying on the sofa.

I have a small allotment which is my hobby so I asked DH if he would mind watching baby while I went and had a gentle potter up there- I thought the fresh air would do me good and it was nice to actually enjoy the sunshine. He watched baby and I was gone approx 90 mins.

When I got home, I changed baby, sorted some dinner out for him, bathed him, gave him a bottle and put him to bed. I then had to come downstairs and clear the kitchen up (weaning is v messy!) before starting to cook our dinner. We finally sat down to eat not long ago. All this time DH was in his office playing computer games.

AIBU to think he could have come down and helped with any of the above tasks or is he entitled to some chill out time because he watched her for 90 mins, I had a lie down for an hour earlier and I’m also on mat leave?

I nearly said something and then thought I was being selfish so just cracked on but part of me still feels a bit out out- AIBU?!

In situations like these, you resent each other, but you’re both doing work even though yours is not paid Too much to do and not enough hours in the day, so just try to make your lives as simple as possible

Sad your dh didn’t think to offer to help or feed and bath his own child whilst your sorted dinner or vice versa especially as you’d been ill

i don’t think yabu at all, I’d assume your dh doesn’t really do much at all round the house or with his dc whether you’re ill or not

Your nap is irrelevant. Frankly if he’s had a couple stressful days and you are well eenough to go to your allotment then I would not expect him to do the dinner if that’s what you normally do.
As part of the time away he could have sorted dinner for the baby, but frankly how much sorting is there? You obviously got home before dinner time anyway. If his gaming is his way of relaxing I’d let it go. Moving forward, when you are back at work then things will have to be more evenly shared. Hopefully you will discuss this openly.

Agree with the above posters. I would think you were feeling a lot better if you were able to go to the allotment.

I get why you're feeling a bit miffed but then I think if you divvy stuff up like this all the time, you're going to be a bit put out when sickness or stress or whatever means the other person can't/don't do their side of 'the deal'.

Evenings were always a time when DH and I just pitched in. One bathed, the other cooked, one did stories, the other tidied up. Neither of us wanted to be hanging about or waiting until 9 to eat...

I don't think it's anything to get upset about. You are both working hard and both deserve a break. You've been sick and needed a rest, you got a lay down on the sofa and time out to your allotment.
He's had a few stressful days at work, watched baby while you were out, and had a break playing on his computer. You both got a break. Just help each other where you can and assume you are each doing your best.