Disagreement with DH over whether to move house - views/inspiration needed!

[FlynnJ]

Hi all, I’ve seen some similar threads before with really useful advice so thought I’d try my luck myself!

Here’s my current situation:

-live in compact 3 bed detached house with DH and DS (1yo)
-In a decent area close to family, shops, schools etc.
-brought as our first home in late 2019 with a view to moving a few years later to somewhere bigger.

Currently:

-DH of view we’ve outgrown or nearly outgrown the house - wants to move
-Main gripes are lack of living space downstairs and lack of storage space upstairs.
-I’m in agreement but love the house and area and would want to stay here if it could be made suitable

Finances:

-House has been valued and gone up 50/60k (at least) since we brought it
-To move somewhere slightly bigger (e.g more living space and bigger sized bedrooms, we’d be paying up to £80/90k more than what we’d get for this house plus fees. Location would be similar. A 4 bed (the ideal incase we have another DC) is out of reach financially for now.
-We are willing to take out an extra c.£50k on our Mortgage and have a similar amount in savings we can also use.

Current house:

-DH doesn’t believe extending would be financially viable (feels we’d be better off moving) but has said he’s open to ideas.
-We can’t extend to the side (garage is separate to the house by the drive at the front)
-We have a reasonable length garden and could probably extend out by up to 2.5metres and this would still be a good size.
-Landing area is very small
-Floor plan attached

Has anyone been in a similar situation or got any thoughts on improvements to the current house I could suggest to DH? We thought we’d easily
move after a few years but prices have gotten silly.

Thanks!

We had a really similar layout to yours in our first home and we moved to a larger home a few years ago. We did consider a lot of options as we loved our old street, but it was coming in at 100K to extend into the loft and bump out the kitchen slightly (we couldn't fit a dining table at all) and that's years ago. Plus we'd have to move out for several weeks and pay for somewhere to stay, pack up all our stuff, etc .etc.

We'd lose a bedroom on the 2nd floor to end up with a bed/bath in the loft so it would be a 3 bedroom either way. We ended up getting lucky and finding a 4 bed we could get for under value as it had been empty a year and was in a pretty poor state (this was during lockdown so it was all a bit complicated) and we don't regret it. Moving was exhausting but it wouldn't have been easier to stay put and now that the kids (we have two) are bigger we are really grateful for the extra space.

If you think you would likely want to move again later, I wouldn't spend the time and energy on a massive build project as you won't get it back when you sell (probably anyway) and it will be a lot of work with a wee one to look after as well. Those sorts of things are typically only worth it if it's to create your forever (or roughly forever) home.

If you waited a few more years for salary increases/ paying less in childcare fees/ more savings could you get the four bed that would give you all the space you want maybe?

Yeah the option would be there for those things. Just think the cost could be prohibitive and maybe not reflected in future value.

Ideally I think a loft conversion and downstairs rear extension would be what’s needed but would cost well in excess of £100k

I think in your position I would get saving and wait until the 4 bed house move is on the table

Re. waiting for a 4 bed - that’d be ideal but at the rate the prices of those are going up, we’d be looking at needing to find an extra c.£150k minimum as difference between our sale and purchase price. So even if our earnings increase down the line, the Mortgage would be massive.

All sounds very familiar! Can I ask, did you have to stretch massively in order to move?

I wouldn’t extend - it’s very compact and the problem is you can end up with unbalanced houses to do it in budget - either all living space or all bedrooms- someone posted on the property board maybe 6 weeks ago who ended up with 5 beds but a living area like yours and they couldn’t sell because anyone wanting 5 beds wanted much more living space - personally I would be looking at 3 bedders with decent bedrooms ( and yours are pretty small) with potential to extend downstairs if needed at some point-

Sure - but you'll sell your current house for more too. And you might get lucky and find something that just has a better layout for you even if it's not 4 bedrooms - a box room for an office or a dining room or an attached garage can also be a huge step up without paying a massive amount more.

Have you factored in stamp duty, legal and removal fees to the extra you’d need between your current house and a new one?

some friends with a similar layout went up into the loft. They lost a bit of space off the smallest bedroom to get the stairs in and are now using it as a home office. They put two bedrooms and a separate (not en-suite) bathroom in the loft - the kids are up there.

Unfortunately yes we had to stretch to do it! However, we would’ve had to stretch if we had stayed in the same area, and we would have got A LOT less for the same money.

Like you, I wish we had overstretched when we bought the smaller house and bought something bigger instead, then maybe we wouldn't have had to move! But we were much lower earners then. Its felt a big risk to stretch this time, and I do worry about it sometimes but I guess if the worst came to the worst, we could downsize again. Im normally very risk averse, but honestly I was just sick to death of living in a matchbox with no scope to extend, having zero space for anyone to come over and not being able to store my clothes in my own bedroom!

I would do single story extension on the back to kitchen/ diner as priority. Even with another child, they could share for a bit. I would then do loft later.

I think that would give us the greatest benefit in the short term, as it’s extra living space which is the priority x

Nobody seems to have mentioned the cost of extending - its not a cheap option these days. Obviously depends where you are in the country but you're looking at least 2.5-3k per sqm - you'd need to work out how much an extension would actually cost.

If you can afford to move and there are suitable houses in your area then that’s preferable to extending, which would likely cost more even for just one of the extensions (rear or loft) and not solve the issues as satisfactorily. Better to move now, provided it’s not over-stretching you or going somewhere you don’t want to live. If it’s a matter of waiting for the right house, I’d sit tight, save the money and live with your house how it is for now. It’s big enough for 3 while your DC is little and might help your DH knowing that a move is on the cards.

Definitely move. Look for a detached 3 bed with an attached garage, that you can put a 4th bedroom on top of at a later date. The garage could also b2me converted into a study/playroom/guest bedroom if needed.

I think the floor plan description of kitchen diner is misleading. With the door positions it really is just a kitchen- meaning you then have a living room/diner and then that room isn’t large at all. I would look at moving.