If you consider yourself ''put together'' - can you share HOW?

[userfornow]

Hoping for AIBU traffic.

If you are a fellow mum and generally consider yourself put together i.e. hair, nails, eyebrows, skincare, clothes that haven't just been thrown on or picked from the chair of doom, can I ask how do you fit it into your routine?

I'm finding myself increasingly falling behind whilst juggling work, house and children. My hair only really looks good down and more often than not its scraped back because I was in a rush, my nails hastily trimmed with cuticles that could really use attention, noticed in the car mirror today that my eyebrows need a good pluck, only did them last week (feels like yesterday). I'd love to be more organised and maybe even manage to regularly add a gradual tan into my routine with summer coming up but I often find myself at a roadblock when it comes to actually doing it.

Can I please ask for your best tips and tricks to fit self-care into your routines at home?

I'm coming out the other side of young children. Mine are now 9 and 13. This means I can now go to the hairdresser's once every four months for highlights, go on my lunch break to get gel nails and find ten minutes to pluck my eyebrows. I've also started the gym and go there for an hour a day, sometimes at lunch, and two nights a week. I'm still throwing on clothes though, as shopping is still a hassle with kids that age and I don't enjoy internet shopping. The biggest trick is booking the next appt while you are in the beauty or hair salon. The gym is just about getting into the routine and BEING SELFISH. Actually a lot of self care is about carving out time in your calendar to go and do things for you. It's about planning and not giving into pleading families members who want you to be on call 24/7.

It’s just time and effort.
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, I work full time and I feel like I’m pretty much always put together.
My hair looks better down and with a wave so I put in a heat less curler once or twice a week, on a Sunday night I might do a proper blow dry.
I give myself at least an hour in the morning which is a mixture of getting ready time, playing with the kids and having a coffee.
I usually lay out my outfit the night before, it’s always coordinated and freshly ironed or steamed. My go to uniform for work is jeans or cigarette pants with a detailed blouse and ballet flats.
I always put on earrings and a couple of necklaces.
I wear simply glowy makeup every day.
I keep nails a medium almond length and just moisturise my hands, rarely have nail polish and if I do it’s just clear/natural.
I don’t regularly do any beauty treatments except Botox twice a year, so no nails, waxing, eyebrows professionally done as I just don’t have the time.
I think it’s pretty easy to look put together without any professional appointments, it takes small chunks of time more regularly in the week but I think it’s less time overall than going for nails or eyebrows in a salon.
I do put on a gradual tanner once or twice a week but not on any sort of schedule, I just pick one night after a shower when it feels like I have the extra few mins.
Filing nails and eyebrows i usually do while I’m sat in the bathroom while the kids are bathing.
The main thing is prepping your outfit in the evening imo. For the summer I do things like sleep in socks after slathering my feet in Nivea, it saves timely foot care and you wake up with nice sandal ready feet.

How old are your kids?

I have two kids under 6 so I sympathise. I work full time and I try to fit most things into the working day. 3 lunchtime workouts a week. I do my nails myself during my long train commute. Hair I book a half day three times a year and take myself off to the hairdresser. There is a little salon 10 mins from my house where I go for a brow wax and tint every other month.

I am religious about spending time on my dental and skincare routine every night. Just 10 mins but it makes a real difference.

The things I never have time to do are shave my legs, get a bikini wax or self tan but I’ve given up on those for now!

I consider myself put together and I feel it takes no time at all. Brushing hair? 30 seconds? Make-up in the morning? Say 5 mins. Painting nails and allowing them to dry? 4 mins a week. Do it in bed, pick up my phone and they dry.

Fake tan in the summer on a Friday night before bed, sleep in it, shower it off. Again, ten mins.

Keep a lipstick in the car, handbag, desk at work. Roots done every 12 weeks.

Chuck out clothes when they get too scruffy. Always use a whitening toothpaste.

If I’m WFH and in scruffy leggings and a goody, I’ll change to do school run, and then change back when I get home.

the kind of person you’re describing either has more help and money than you do or is neglecting things that you don’t so that they can look presentable

I don't have much spare cash so I can't get my hair done as often as I'd like, and I can't get my nails or eyebrows done professionally. But I have managed to carve out time to do things myself. Friday evening is my time. DP gets DD her dinner and puts her to bed. I bath, blow dry my hair, pluck my eyebrows, apply some gradual tan, do my nails etc. I could really do with doing it twice a week, but once is better than nothing and means I feel put together for at least half the week!

Why on earth would finding time to brush your hair or wear fresh clean clothes mean you’re neglecting anything in your life? 😂

Dry shampoo is your friend. The Monday one is best. I hate my hair up and I only wash it once every 5 days ( otherwise it gets too thin!)

I get my nails done once a fortnight , it only take 45 minutes and I go in my lunch break.

you just need to make time, some of the house things can wait, the kids can wait 5 minutes whilst you put on some mascara.

I don’t ever leave clothes out , at bedtime just tidy them round and then in the morning you’ll have a nice and calm environment to get sorted in and a wardrobe full of clothes to wear!

Placemarking as need help 😄

Can you try to get to a spa once or twice a month to treat yourself.
I go twice a month it really helps and try to make time for you.

Please say you don't file or paint your nails on the train!?!

What toothpaste do you find works?

What pockets of still time do you have?

So, for example, I was a major taxi driver to my DC. If I added up all the time I’m sat there early to pick up from school, waiting for a swim lesson to end etc. it would rack up to hours.

I had a toilet bag with a nail file and buffer and a good mirror and tweezers. I didn’t care what the other mums thought. Now I have a make up bag in my work bag and find a quiet spot on transport and do 5 min makeup. I also have a bag of admin.

Also, what time do the DC go to bed? What do you do then? I’ll chuck a Footner, face cream/ mask, nail tools/ my Nuface in a carry box and do it in front of the telly. Imagine if you did that for 1/2 hour every night? You’d look FAB.

Self care whilst watching tv is your friend!

Daily:
Brush hair and style (5 mins tops)
Dry shampoo if needed (30 seconds)
shower and exfoilate face and body (5 mins)
Teeth (5 mins split)
Make up (15 mins for skin, eyes and brows)
Cleanse, tone moisturise face and neck (5mins morning, 5 evening)

Weekly:
Pluck eyebrows
Hot cloth cleanser
Remove varnish, file and re apply
Wash hair and blow dry (twice weekly)
Facemask
Fake tan (get a good one that lasts and keep up with moisturiser)
Exfoliate and soak in moisturiser or moisturising sock/boots
Shave (twice weekly)

Fortnightly:
A good pore cleanse, check for blackheads etc
Hair mask
Dye lashes and brows

Monthly:
Nail infills or soak off and new set

Every 2 months:
Trim hair

You need to carve out time for your own self care. Daily, it's roughly 30 mins a day for me, the rest of it I do in the evenings infront of the tv! The only thing I go to is a professional for is my nails.

I always think about outfits in advance and usually try stuff on when I have a spare moment. Then when the time comes I don’t worry about what I’m going to wear and no last minute panics. Always keep a nail file and tweezers in my car for when I’m stuck in traffic.

Disclaimer: I am not put together. But I do manage to look groomed/not a hot mess.

Diary entries are your friend here.

Always book the next one when you get an appointment.

Book time off work once every six weeks - even half a day - for appointments, if you can.

And keep a simple, chic wardrobe if looking good matters to you.

I got a, "ooh, looking swish" from work - clean and shiny ponytail, sunglasses, black tee, grey jeans and blue tennis shoes.

Simple items look much nicer than fussy ones.

I can if I want kids 15 and 10. Work full time from home. However I cba. Hairs uo most time and currently covered in fence paint sat in garden and my house is a shit tip. But I'm outside as it's my week of as kids are off school :)

I have a pixie cut that takes minutes to style. Before this I had a French bob that took a bit longer, but no more than 5-10 mins. I get it trimmed once a month and book the next appointment while I'm there. I don't dye my hair; going grey naturally at 35 and loving it.

Nails done professionally every 2-3 weeks. I WFH and usually book a lunchtime slot or choose a day when my workload is quieter.

Makeup is minimal - eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick. Takes me under ten mins. I only need to touch up the lipstick through the day. Always wear sun cream. I keep lipstick, sun cream, perfume, and roll on deodorant in my bag.

Clothes - I just decide what I'm wearing the night before and put it out. If something is stained/stretched/generally messy it's relegated to gardening clothes. I get smart stuff dry cleaned regularly. I like jewellery and add nice pieces to every outfit.

Skincare - wash with soap and water twice a day, moisturise, and use a face mask once or twice a week. I also have a facial around once a month.

For my body I exfoliate twice a week, always add lotion afterwards. I'm not hairy so shave maybe once a week too. Also love a good soak in the bath several times a week.

Eyebrows I just shape as and when needed, I never let them get messy so it's never an event. Usually pluck a hair here and there as I do my makeup.

Exercise - I wake up early 5 days a week and get it in then before my day starts.

Pretty much it. I just shower/wash/groom daily and I've made sure most of those daily routines can be completed quickly, so to me they're as essential and normal as brushing my teeth - Colgate Max White Ultra Radiance is my favourite toothpaste.

With a decent partner, most things are do-able I find.

Yup, this. I don't ever feel rushed/selfish/blocked from going to appointments or taking my time in the bath when I need it, etc., because DH is an equal parent and the kids aren't hammering on the door for me to hurry, missing an afternoon out, etc.

I no longer wash my own hair. Every Tuesday morning, first thing, I get it washed and blow-dried. I think that's the biggest thing, as I just can't style my hair on my own. I also have regular appointments with my dermatologist, facials, eye-brow shaper, exercise several times a week (pilates or personal trainer), and try to get enough sleep and eat well. I am also really thoughtful about my clothing, and keeping it in really good condition. I have a small wardrobe.

If I could find a good value blow dry, I’d do this. However it’s about £30 where I live.

Have a few great outfits, don’t buy cheap clothes, quality over quantity.

I'm not that put together because iI don't have time but I do find the below helps.

I have nice hair so don't need to do much but it's highlighted & cut every 4/5 months.
Facials
Eyebrows - tinted & shaped
Nails - I have good nails so don't get them done but will wear light polish so chips are less noticeable.
Pedicures regular in the summer.
Buy nice shoes, jewellery, jackets, sunglasses, etc

Even if I throw on clothes off the chair because of the above I generally look presentable.