Not really an AIBU, but feel this is the best place for it.
I’m starting a new job on Friday, and I feel a bit unnerved at arriving at this new stage in my life. I’m on the cusp of feeling happy, like I’ve got my groove back and I don’t want to jinx or blow it.
I was a SAHM for 13 years due to my DH’s job which involved moving a lot, and a lot of travel. I don’t regret that choice, but it came with consequences. About 5 years ago I found myself a SAHM with serious marriage issues. I felt so alone, and came very close to divorce. My DH didn’t do anything major, like an affair, we just grew apart. At this stage I had youngish DC.
I looked for a job, and got nowhere. In the end I volunteered for a year to get experience and references (after a suggestion on here), then I got a p/t job where I’ve worked for 5 years. I’m very valued there, and made lots of friends.
I went from feeling totally vulnerable, to less vulnerable.
I’ve been offered another job which fits around my other one. This’ll take me to FT work and a salary I could survive on my own with. It’s also something I’m going to love. It’s vocational. I’ll learn loads.
My DC are 5 years older, teens, mostly independent. DH and I are back to our normal loving selves, but I’ll never put myself in that vulnerable position again.
So, after feeling vulnerable, alone, a bit desperate, scared, no prospects, without my own finances, I suddenly find myself in a very different situation.
You’d think I’d be dancing round the kitchen to Farrell Williams, but instead I’m feeling a bit anxious, out of my comfort zone and a bit like it’s too good to be true, because I can’t remember the last time I felt empowered and respected. I think it was 20 years ago, pre DC when I had a really good job.
Not sure what the AIBU is. Maybe, YABU get over it woman.