How to thank school for years of generous scholarship/bursary?

[Ethina]

Two children in private primary school, when our lives were turned upside down. Husband was fired one month before the pandemic hit… he thought he’d find a new job easily but everything got put on ice due to covid. The months came and went and all his prospects dried up, and on top of this he had a health crisis which changed everything permanently for us. After about a year of this it became clear that we wouldn’t be able to pay the school fees anymore. We decided it was time to take our children out, when the school told us that they would waive all fees for the remainder of their education. I still can’t believe they did this for us. It meant everything to us that our children could stay in school while everything around them was in turmoil. I’m not sure they understand how incredibly grateful we are. We went through a very difficult time, I don’t have any family left and my mother in law is not in a position to help us, so in terms of finances we have no one to turn to.

About the school: it’s owned by a family, sort of mid sized. The owners are very present in the running of the school and they know all (or most of) children. My eldest left the school in 2023 and my youngest is leaving to go to secondary this year. In the heading I say ‘scholarship/bursary’ because they’ve called it a scholarship on the invoices which are always zero, but in reality it’s more of a bursary. We thank them every term but now that our time at this school is coming to an end I feel a gesture of some
kind is called for.

How can I thank them? What kind of gesture would be appropriate? Any ideas most welcome!!

Are you and DH working now? Could you pay a proportion of the fees over a period of time, as I presume they are now going to state secondary? Do you have any skills you can offer in lieu of the fees?

I would just write them a heartfelt letter telling them how grateful you are and what it has meant to your family.

Positive word of mouth is worth a lot. I know you might not want to tell everyone your full story but assure them that you will always speak highly of them. I don't think a monetary gift is the way to go, I think some token thing and a thank you letter is enough. If you could afford it send a hamper or something. Or find out when their staff night is on and prepay a few bottles of wine. People don't expect repayment for generosity but as long as they have respect and gratitude. It's a lovely story.

A bench or a tree? Out local park has a nice, curved talking bench where you sit and face each other.

Is there something the school might like for the benefit of all the children. When some of ours left nursery we banded together for a beautifully engraved wooden swing.

Could you set up a regular donation to their hardship fund, so the help is there for someone else?
If you can’t make that commitment a donation to the library, or for a piece of software, petting zoo visit…as a one off.

Also donate any leftover uniform/equipment?

I have been paying a standing amount every year for 30 years. Not much, but it adds up. I'm not in a position to pay for a single child's education outright, but I've also made provision for a lump sum in my will (and let the school know).

You could also approach the school directly and ask them what they would appreciate within your budget. If it's 2000, for example, they may like shrubbery or new netballs or whatever. If it's something that your contacts allow you to buy for less than they would pay, that would be even better.

ETA - also, don't hold back in writing personally to all the staff members who have had a meaningful impact on your and your children's lives. It means a lot to know that you've helped a family in crisis.

All nice ideas - but a small but significant gift would be to add something to their library. A good set of hardback books that they don’t currently have - maybe something one of your children would have liked to find there. (I know someone who gave a Folio Society set of Narnia books to a primary school when their child was leaving.)

I agree with asking the school
As nice as a park bench or something can be (as another poster suggested) it's not really clear what actual benefit a bench in a random park not in the school would be. I'm sure they'd prefer something of actual use. Ideally if there's also a way of offering your time/skillsets you might have - whether being a governor/pta/fundraising/helping out during school trips etc

Oh and minimal effort but if the school has an entry in Google maps etc write a good review (not mentioning the bursary).

Wow that is incredibly generous and I would feel exactly like you.

i think the suggestion of something useful for the school is a great one.
a mature tree for the playground
a playground equipment / school equipment
a buddy bench for the playground
something for the assembly hall/library

a skill you have that would benefit the school

and of course as well as a thoughful letter, word of mouth, etc

i love prepaid bottles for the staff / teachers end of year party

it sounds like the school value its community which is fantastic

Thank you, so many lovely ideas! Definitely writing a letter, and are discussing the other ideas with dh.

Re positive word of mouth we are definitely doing that, and have done since years, not just because of their generosity towards us, we would have recommended them regardless.

Yes @Bubblesgun it’s a nice community and the staff seem happy too, some have worked there for over 40 years, many others more than 20 years, apparently they socialise outside of work too, travelling together and all kinds of things. I wish my workplace would have such a nice atmosphere.

Maybe make a point of keeping in touch as your children move through education - updating them on all the things they have helped make happen. Then when they are old enough, maybe they can go back to support or donate?

Yes, I have had similar thoughts. I’m also hoping my children will be able to give back over the years, in more ways than financially. We’ve also offered to have my eldest one come back to talk about her current school for students who are considering it and will have my youngest do the same.

Watching with great interest. My sons private school stepped in during our darkest hour to protect him, and saved my sanity. Nothing will ever express my depth of gratitude.

Im considering a prize of £100 per year to a child who has overcome odds to progress, not The Best, but the effort or creativity or kindness.

I second the Folio Society book idea. They are so beautiful and feel special.