To ask what your most stupid work telling off was?

[BeatleBattleInABottle]

I need cheering up so if you'd like to share the most stupid reasons you've been told off for at work, that would help!

I've just been issued a formal warning for not following sickness procedures. I returned to work today after being off work since last Monday. Literally "Hi, welcome back. Here's a warning". The reason I didnt follow sickness procedures was because I texted my boss each day instead of phoning in. She replied so she received them. Why did I text? I collapsed on Sunday evening and was in hospital until Sunday. TBH they are lucky I remembered to contact them at all for the first few days. I certainly wasn't in a state to talk.

Same job a few months back. I was organising a conference for 350 people. I needed to confirm numbers so sent a professional email to everyone asking thrm to confirm attendance, dietary and other requirement etc. If they hadn't replied by the deadline, I would phone them. Plenty of time to do this. Nope. Not good enough. I had to recall the email and spend 3 days calling people instead. Great use of time, boss!

Finally, last month, I was sent an email bitching about me. They'd obviously put my name in the address, instead of the subject. I just replied "I don't think this was meant for me". Apparently that was "unprofessional" and upset the people who'd sent it! In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have replied, just to watch them squirm.

Yes, I'm stepping up my job hunt.

I was briefly a "Supper Chef" in a nursing home. During my second week in the job I was handed a very formal and curt letter expressing the manager's annoyance that I had served Angel Delight without hundreds and thousands sprinkled on top.

I also remember my first part time job, working a few evenings and Saturday daytimes as a customer service rep alongside going to college and university.

Two years in we’d had a restructuring and the two evening teams had merged into one under the manager of the other team who had a reputation for being a bit nitpicky, and just generally not the most warm/friendly person.

At the same time as the reorganisation, I’d split with my boyfriend of 2 years, had turned 18 and so started to go out a bit into the local for nights out with my friends. I wasn’t a smoker but this was the late 90s/early 00s when smoking in bars and clubs was still allowed. Oddly, I seemed to have a really sensitive throat to smoke and would regularly lose my voice after such a night out. I would still always make it into work for my 8am Saturday shift (even after being in the club until 1/2am - oh for being young and no hangovers!!), but sometimes couldn’t be on the phones to take calls as my voice was nonexistent so had to do other admin work instead.

After maybe 3 or 4 instances of this over a 6 month period, my manager pulled me aside and told me I should get back with my boyfriend again so I’d revert to going out as often. This was pretty tone deaf considering she knew my ex boyfriend had been controlling, had isolated me from my friends and caused problems between me and my family, was abusive verbally and physically and, despite working FT and living at home with his parents paying minimal keep, had borrowed hundreds from me that I (a student with a PT job) couldn’t really afford to give and never paid me back. He also tried to stick me with a big catalogue balance for loads of clothes I’d ordered for him that he was supposed to pay me back for (pastel Ben Sherman shirts anyone?! 😂). Thankfully the catalogue company agreed to remove those items from my account and pursued him directly for the debt.

Manager did end up apologising a few days later but I was never sure if it was because she realised she’d overstepped and truly felt bad or because after speaking to someone else she was worried I could complain and wanted to cover herself.

Got pulled in because I was off sick one day and apparently I had tried to book that day as holiday
The holiday was so booked up and the only way to see if it was free was to try and book and it would instantly accept or reject and you could keep trying to see if people had cancelled
My union rep asked them how many other days I had also clicked on to try and book holiday in that year
They replied “136”
union rep “I think this conversation is over”

I once got a bollocking from a manager who’d brought in a rule that if we left our desks, we had to put in a diary where we were. So in an otherwise open-plan workplace, I had stepped two metres into a glass-walled office to have a ten minute conversation with the person whose office it was and this was an issue for my manager, the absolute prick. I was visible the whole time.

This made me laugh because it reminds me so much of my time teaching in Cambodia.

I very quickly realized that the only way to get through was to nod, smile, and just agree—then rant to DH when I got home.

TBH I would avoid saying those two words at work. I work in professional services in the city and it's not overly woke but I wouldn't say guys or mental.

This is going back 45 years but we used pins to attach certain vouchers together and it was done in a way so you didn't prick yourself. This was taught to us on a training course.

was on reception when this person came in with biker leathers, shaved head, full beard and I said “hello sir how can a help you”
i then was reported by said person for addressing him as sir as he identifies as a women and I should have noticed the pink painted fingernails.

I was given a written warning!!!!!!!

Financial institution and working late due to the annual balancing of book deposits. I was travelling on my own that week as the person I usually travelled with was off on leave. As part of the journey home was a bit isolated I phoned home to let my mum know I would be late. Pre mobile era. The Manager gave me a dressing down in front of everyone for making a personal call. We did write calls in a book and gave money towards the phone bill. Alright for as he lived above the "shop" so to speak.

Think there may be a clue in 'working on my own', generally means there are no others, no?

I was told my voice was too feminine and not deep and authoritative enough. It’s kind of difficult to actually become a man but hey ho.

I was responsible for running events, one was scheduled and happened while I was on leave and I was told off for it being run badly…. When I wasn’t even there to do it…. Same place also implied me and a colleague having had our office doors closed resulted in 3 new employees quitting in a month… again I was on leave when they quit…. And off course it was nothing to do with how management were running the place…

I got told off for breathing too loudly once. It was about 7.15am and I was walking up a fairly steep slope for probably the 4th time that morning since starting at 7.

In another job we weren't allowed keep our work jumpers under our desk incase we got told off by the H&S lady. People used to hide them in their toolboxes 🤷‍♀️

I did! Just don’t think a radio in a communal office is appropriate. But you are confirming it is solely yourself in the room. Blast away!

I was told off for giving excellent customer service. It made my colleagues feel inadequate and upset them as I received so much positive feedback and “too many compliments”.

You jog on! I work in a school too and know when and where is appropriate to have personal private conversations. In an empty classroom with the person youre speaking to (preferably with door closed): fine. Just the three of you already together and you start whispering to one of them, not appropriate. And I know we're allowed to have secrets from other people but there's a way to go about protecting your private information without coming across rude.

I got shouted at all the time by this crazy bitch of a 'manager'. It was always in front of everyone too.
She was so used to doing it she had an outburst at me, forgetting that the person sitting directly next to me was the HR lady. HR lady promptly made an official complaint about her to my director.
I told him about the bullying and they kept us apart. I never spoke to her again. But she wasn't demoted until she was caught bullying someone else much more popular than me!

I once got shouted and sworn at by my boss for breaking the switchboard by pouring beer into it accidentally. It happened in front of my mum as she'd come to pick me up to go clothes shopping. When she introduced herself to him he had to pretend his sweary outburst was all a big joke?!

I can understand not saying 'mental', but 'guys', that's been a non-gender specific word for years. Truly what is wrong wth society these days that we can't say 'Hey guys!' - it encompasses everyone, which is why it's good (and I often use it at home as have a non-binary offspring.

Absolute madness! A beard and they identified as a woman - that is really having your cake and eating it.

@Oldglasses I wouldn't agree that 'guys' is non gender specific but if you use it with your non binary child that's how you see it. I prefer to use "folks" and I've worked for American companies for years so that works better for me.

@Mydadsbirthday I've always used guys with mixed groups! Maybe not all female ones, but definitely mixed.

I was once reprimanded by my boss (Director of a top advertising firm in London) for not ringing Michael Winner’s private hospital, whilst he was on his deathbed, and asking him for advice as to how my boss could go about a career change and become a food critic…. I laughed in his face and told him that, in no uncertain terms, would I be doing that. Got myself a nice little reprimanding for that. That man was entitled beyond belief 🤦‍♀️

In my first job as a teenager I was like a pot wash/spare pair of hands in a kitchen.

The owner asked me to go round town and pick some things up. I got my pen and paper out and she listed some usual things, then she listed turmeric. I repeated turmeric? She said yes. So I went to get some turmeric from the weigh shop which was the only place in our coal mining town that sold turmeric and when I got back I got a right bollocking for buying turmeric that she swore she never told me to buy.

When I think of her I forget her name but I do think wow what a fucking cowbag.

Tut, tut, @IrritatedEarthling - couldn't you have done the work in the time between contractions? 😉

I've thought of another when DC was little I worked at a high street store. Rule was you had to call two hours before the start of your shift if you weren't coming in.
DC became suddenly unwell as i was about the leave for work. They ended up in hospital. My manager kept saying when I called can you tell me what you've done wrong?? She was furious that I hadn't given the two hours notice. I called HR and reported he because she was an absolute cow. I resigned on the spot. This was the same manager that bollocked me for not smiling enough.