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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel so overwhelmed?

6 replies

UndertheCedartree · 01/04/2025 12:56

am going through a lot of difficulties with my 17yo autistic eftDS. Since he was 13 he has questioned his gender identity. It seems to stem from a hatred of his body. I found out recently that since October he has been injecting oestrogen.

Today I found him very sedated but conscious, he was staggering around and was knocking things over and also vomited. He told me he'd taken lorazapam and was looking for alcohol. I called an ambulance but while waiting for them to come my DS decided to leave the house and was staggering up the road walking into things. I was so worried he'd end up in the road so followed him. (I obviously had to cancel the ambulance) I phoned his dad (we're not together) and said I didn't know what to do and he said phone the police. So I did and they managed to keep him in one place until an ambulance could come. He didn't want me to go in the ambulance with him so I asked his dad to meet him at the hospital.

I get a message from my DS saying he fucking hates me and will never forgive me (for calling the ambulance)and he can't wait til he is 18 so he can leave home and never see me again.
The hext thing is his dad phones me to say ds didn't want to stay in hospital so he is on his way back to drop him at mine. I said I think we need a chat and to agree some ground rules before he comes back. His dad hangs up and then phones to say he is taking ! to his best friend's. I said he is absolutely not in a fit state to go there, but his dad says they are almost there. His best friend's mum is my best friend and we are like family but even so I didn't think it was right. I phone my best friend to find she is nor even at home! Then get a text message from DS's dad that he has left DS there 'to sober up'. So instead of parenting he left a drugged up autistic teen with another autistic teen to look after him!

I phoned my friend and said I was heading over there and she said she would cancel her plans and head home.
She has said that DS has asked about going to his dad's. His dad scarpered as quick as he did and turned his phone off because he won't have him over at the flat he shares with his mum. DS will get rejected by his dad and his grandmother which saddens me.
I only hope he realises I am the parent who has brought him up all these years and always been there for him.
Sorry for the essay. It is just so complicated I almost don't know where to start.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 01/04/2025 13:25

That sounds awful for you and your DS, he must be struggling a lot. Please don't take advice from anyone here on how to approach things with your son, you need to take advice from professionals, he is in a very vulnerable state.

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 01/04/2025 13:27

I’m so sorry this is so much to deal with, it’s no wonder you’re overwhelmed.

UndertheCedartree · 01/04/2025 19:48

JLou08 · 01/04/2025 13:25

That sounds awful for you and your DS, he must be struggling a lot. Please don't take advice from anyone here on how to approach things with your son, you need to take advice from professionals, he is in a very vulnerable state.

I'm more looking for support for myself.

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 01/04/2025 20:55

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 01/04/2025 13:27

I’m so sorry this is so much to deal with, it’s no wonder you’re overwhelmed.

Thank you. I'm really struggling. I.keep bursting into tears.

He is still at his best friend's house but refuses to come home. I have arranged for him to go and stay with my brother and his family for an extended Easter holiday. They live 2 hours drive away. I think it will do him good as they live in a very small country town and there will be lots of dog walks and healthy food.

It is his 18th Birthday at the end of the holidays so I really hope he is ready to come home by then.

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 01/04/2025 23:33

Bump

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 02/04/2025 11:14

I am in his room packing his suitcase and it is breaking my heart. I can't even give him a hug before he goes.

OP posts:
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