To move house in these circumstances

[BeKookySheep]

We have lived in our current home for 5 years now and our mortgage fix is coming to an end this year. We bought the house when we were just two or us, me and DH. Now, we have 2 little DC, 3.5 yo DS and 6 months old DD. It has got decent primary schools in catchment of which DH is also governor for one of them. My workplace is 1 mile away, 15-20 min walk or 5 mins on bus, it was one of the main reasons why we bought this house. Its a 70s detached house, not huge but has got 4 bedroom, 3 upstairs and 1 downstairs. We did lots of work on the house like new kitchen, driveway, patio, redecorating etc. it has got everything in 5 mins walking distance including shops, surgery, library, park and supermarket. We have very helpful and lovely neighbours. Our only concern is secondary schools. The secondary school in our catchment isn't good.
Though our kids are young but looking at the astronomical increase in house prices, we are thinking of moving to a nearby town where there are good primary and two grammar schools. Getting into grammar school is a priority for us. I have seen a 4 bedroom house which is 70k more than our current house listed in that town and I feel quite tempted to take a leap of viewing that house and potentially making a move now before DS starts school which I feel will be a long term home for us. But, I also wonder if I will miss the convenience of being in our current home where everything is so close by including my workplace. DH says may be we can let DS and DD complete their primary school in our current home and then make a move in another 6-7 years, once we know more of our DCs strengths and interests.
I am confused and looking for some perspective on should we look at moving or staying out and enjoy our current home for another few years.

Moving to that town will add a train journey to my travel adding a think realistically an hour each way to my workplace. Also I need to go into work for 3 days each week.

It would also mean, I will be spending £300 more each month for the workplace travel which is currently free as I just walk.

It sounds like a daft plan to add so much to your commute and increase all your costs given your children haven't even started school yet. Don't forget a lot can change with a school between now and when you children start and your children might not be academic enough to go to the grammar even if you did move. I would stay where you are and reassess in 5 years.

If you moved and your kids did not get into the grammar school, how good are the other non grammar schools in the new town?

Don’t do it, that sounds insane.

It’s also possible the school situation will be different by the time your kids are through primary.

I wouldn't move just yet - so much could change in the next 10 years and adding an hour commute sounds dreadful

Your eldest is not even in Reception yet and you are already thinking about secondary schools? You have a good 5 years before you need to think about this and schools can change in those 5 years. I understand that in a grammar catchment area the rankings of the non-grammars are going to look poor in comparison, but that doesn't make them bad schools. Catchments are likely to change over 5 years, as may the leadership and ratings of each school, and you may feel differently when you know your older child in a school environment.

I’m another who says stay where you are for now. Things change so much in 5 years.

Far too soon . Surely there are grammar schools where you live too?! Loving near one doesn’t get you in one ( though you can sometimes score lower if you live closer)

seems mad to me, you've got years yet - what happens if your children are not academic ??

I wouldn't do it now. Enjoy your house and the convenience of it, then reassess when DC1 is maybe yr4. You'll know their strengths and interests by then, and be able to make a realistic assessment on the chances of grammar school. Also it only takes a change of head to change a school very quickly, it's very possible your local school will be a much better prospect by then too. I wouldn't trade convenience for high travel and time costs now, it's far too early. I'd hold your nerve for a few more years then look at it again.

Thanks for the responses. We don't have any grammar schools in our city. I haven't looked at non grammar secondary option in that town yet.

Grammars don’t have catchments so you could still get into them. Kids come to the ones in my city from two counties away.

Stay where you are. Bear in mind too, that houses with a bedroom downstairs often don’t have that room counted in the number of bedrooms, so you could be regarded as having a three bed house.

No, no and thrice no.

I wouldn’t move yet based on a grammar school. What if your kids aren’t academic and don’t pass the 11+?

When my DS was in nursery, the local secondary school was in special measures and dire. By the time he completed primary, it had completely turned around and was one of the best in the area. My son attended that school and excelled. It's all about the Head at the time and they come and go......

A lot can happen in those 6-7 years. I assume the move would be so that you were in the catchment area for the grammar school, which your current location is not?

I wouldn't move now. £300 a month on travel is a lot when you have two young children.

I wouldn’t do it, why would you add 70k to your mortgage & £300 a month to your commuting costs when this is a total non issue for another 6 years?

Schools can change drastically over time. My parents made an astronomical effort to get me into a school outside the area to avoid going to the local because it was awful at the time, it’s now considered really good.

You're mad. Whys it so important to go to grammar school. What if your kids don't get in. The current schools near could improve alot in the next 10 years.

You've done well and it's lovely that you have your two little children. It's a lot to cope with having a 6-month old and one at quite a different stage - having everything to hand and being convenient for work must make a massive difference to managing it all. Would you be able to do it with another couple of hours of travelling to work? Is it sensible to disrupt a set-up that serves you so well? Do you have that type of itch that makes people want to up sticks every few years just when they've got everything the way they wanted?

There are so many variables that are unpredictable in the next several years that moving now could only be a leap of faith. If only we had a crystal ball. I would not move in those circumstances but that's because of the type of person I am. You may be totally different. You have to know yourself. Only you - and your husband - can know and decide.

Don’t Move for secondary schools at that age.

You don’t know of your DC will be academic, need more support, SEN, anxious, friendly, sporty, arty etc! Or what the schools will be like then.

The only people I know who are happy with secondary school choice several years in are those who chose the school that had been previously failing, and us (average school that happens to be good at the areas my DC are both particularly interested in). Oh and one other who would have thrived wherever she went.

Everyone who chose the academic schools has had issues with bullying (or I suspect being the bully) or nasty peer groups or the child was arty not academic and it wasn’t a good fit, Some have switched schools. One became a school refuser.

Have you thought about school drop offs and pick ups and summer holiday club drop offs and pick ups with your commute on top? Once they are at school it really becomes a challenge.
You also have no idea if your children will want or be able to attend grammar school or if the grammar school will still be as good in the next 6 or 7 years time.
We did move in year 5 as we did not like the local secondary and our son has enjoyed making new friends as a year 7. But our youngest had to also move primary then and he does not make friends easily and it has been stressful for him, although he is ok ish now after a year.
How bad is the secondary where you are? Is it an absolute no go?
You could also save that 70k and put the money aside for private secondary as an option.
I also wouldn't send my kids to grammar after attending one myself. But plenty of people like the idea and it works for them. The thing is you don't know your childs ability, learning style and personality yet so placing all your bets on grammar school at this time is a high risk move.

I agree with your husband, it's too early to make the move.

I'd wait until your eldest was two years away from secondary school and look at your options then. So many things will have changed, including how 'good' both secondary schools are or what your children need from secondary school.

I'd definitely not move now. What if you moved, your DC didn't get in to grammar and then the secondary in the grammar town is worse (likely) than the one in your current town? I'd suggest you stay put and your DS takes the 11 plus for the grammars in nearby town and see how he does. Then move if he gets in and move your younger DC's primary school at that point.

Or, more realistically, look at all the available schools (secondary in current town and grammars) when DS is year 5 and make a decision on where you'd like to apply at that point. Schools can change and also looking around a school gives you a different perspective and you'll be better placed to determine which will suit your DS at that point.

I'd also say don't discount having friends and being happy. My DS is 13 and we preferred a different secondary school for him originally (that had better results) but he decided to go where his friends were. He loves school AND does well (mostly!) so I'm happy he's in that environment. I'm also pleased that we aren't in a grammar area, seeing what my friends are going through who are (the decisions on tutoring, angst over how DC are doing, deciding what to do, worry that friends will get into grammar and they won't, worry about the other options not being good etc). I can't really fathom deliberately moving into a grammar school area (unless you have an incredibly academic child who you already know will be perfectly suited to the grammar and does well in tests which you likely won't know for sure till they're 7+).