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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To discharge myself from hospital? Has anyone ever done it?

49 replies

FoxRedPuppy · 01/04/2025 11:01

I’ve been in hospital since Saturday. It is a third occurance of a heart attack called SCAD (it’s quite different to your standard heart attack). I’m in a hospital away from home as we weee on our way in a weekend away when it happened.

Since then I was told on Saturday I needed a CT angiograms. On Sunday consultant told me they do work on Sundays, but I would get it Monday. On Monday a different consultant said it had been recommended in my notes, but not actually ordered. So it would be Tuesday (today).

So I was moved to a day ward so it could be done and then home today. Today I get told actually they only do CT angiograms on Weds and Thurs. 🤬 I just cried. AND no doctors on this ward so I can’t even discuss my options.

Hospitals are obviously awful. I can’t sleep. My children are in another city, being looked after by my mum (separated parent). One child is autistic and not coping with me being away.

I’m seriously thinking of discharging myself and getting referred as an out patient. I don’t think I can do another day, and what if it isn’t just one more day? I’ve got no clean pants left!

OP posts:
DenholmElliot11 · 01/04/2025 11:05

Don't do it.

If ever there was a time to put yourself first this is it.

Your kids need you to be fighting fit and the sooner you get this done the better. Even t hough there are delays, you will be treated a lot quicker if you stay where you are now and wait than if you discharge yourself and start all over again.

You're important too. Not just your kids.

Pippa12 · 01/04/2025 11:06

It’s so frustrating when the consultants say unachievable things to patients.

You can self discharge, no problem. You just literally say you want your self discharge, they’ll read you a form which will state you are leaving against medical advice and you’ll sign it to say you understand.

The doctors will not refer you and you will lose you place in the queue for test etc. They are not obliged to provide you with any medication.

You are able to attend back via A&E if you become unwell and start the process again.

Hope you get well soon.

RedHelenB · 01/04/2025 11:07

Stay put OP, they're not keeping you in hospital for the fun of it.

Gundogday · 01/04/2025 11:08

My dh was going to discharge himself. The consultant said he would have to sign a disclaimer to the effect it was his decesion And he was going against medical advice. He ended up staying put.

SilenceInside · 01/04/2025 11:09

It's another day or two, and the CT angiograms might show something that needs to be treated. If you go home, you won't know whether you're ok or not and you may find you have a long wait for the CT angiograms as an outpatient. Or end up with a worse situation in A&E.

It's very frustrating, of course it is, and terrible that they've told you differing things and promised things that haven't happened.

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 01/04/2025 11:10

Really stupid idea. You need medical care. You are useless to your kids if you are having a heart attack. They will just have to cope without you, you can buy your mum a lovely present to thank her after.

JudithWithABigKnife · 01/04/2025 11:10

Yes, but not in a situation like yours (I discharged myself early from the postnatal ward after a CS). I would stay put in your shoes, OP. I know you're worried about your children, and frustrated at delays, but I think you owe it to yourself, and your children, to put your health first here. Whatever the delay here, you aren't going to get an angiogram faster by discharging yourself and going to the back of some queue, and this sounds like a serious issue.

northerneast · 01/04/2025 11:12

You can wait another couple of days for your tests and/or any treatment going forward or you can leave, maybe be referred as an outpatient and potentially suffer a fatal attack whilst waiting.

which one would your children prefer?

SquashedMallow · 01/04/2025 11:13

If this was something else, I wouldn't be necessarily advise against it.

SCAD needs an inpatient angiogram. It'd a tear in an artery that supplies blood and oxygen to your heart. It can cause the same damage as a heart attack can - it's just the mechanism that's different.

I'm sorry this has happened and I feel your pain of being away from home and your DC , but op, you need these investigations as an in patient. You'd be a fool to self discharge (meant with kindness)

MyRedBear · 01/04/2025 11:16

I discharged after a heart attack in Jan, a similar situation miles from home needing echo scans ect and I just ignored it. I seriously regret that now, I haven't been given or offered an alternative echo and was in a and e with chest pain 2 weeks ago wondering if I was having another one because I don't know the extent of the damage. I had no clean pants, or a hairbrush just what I was stood up in and I was extremely scared. I think this may have been a factor in being so pig headed in getting out. Had I to make that decision again I would have talked more to the lovely staff nurse who found me a stash of toiletries so I didn't stink and I would have stayed put. Honestly op you need to know the extent of the muscle damage please stay x

Jamclag · 01/04/2025 11:16

Oh OP, you're really going through it. That sounds like really poor, disorganized care. I can also completely understand your need to get home for all the reasons you've listed but your condition does sound very serious (despite the hospital's apparent lack of urgency). I would insist on speaking to a senior doctor before you do anything (they should be able to get someone on the phone if not in person). Maybe threaten to discharge yourself if they're stalling and ask them if they're happy for you to take that risk? You really need a doctor to talk through the implications of you leaving without further tests if they can't get them sorted asap.

You could also contact PALs and ask to speak to someone on the ward if you're really not getting anywhere - they should offer to come to speak to you and advocate for you.

Good luck - hope you're back with your family soon.

Judgejudysno1fan · 01/04/2025 11:17

Stay in hospital.and get It resolved. An outpatient won't mean you can just rock up anytime. Could be weeks, months, or longer.

Stay put and your children will be fine for a couple more days. Your heart is very serious and very important. Get well soon 😊

Milesandsmiles · 01/04/2025 11:23

I have done this, I also have a disabled child, my husband was abroad for work and I had no one else to look after her. I discharged myself and then went back after my husband got home the next day.

I wouldn’t recommend it, as someone else said upthread you can’t just walk back onto the Ward and will lose your place for tests. I had to go back in via A&E where they weren’t exactly welcoming despite the fact that I was very ill at the time (serious infection rather than a heart attack).

I really sympathise though and hope you feel better soon!

TwoShades1 · 01/04/2025 11:24

I think it’s best you stay. If you choose to leave I’m not sure they can refer you for outpatient treatment. You might just have to wait until something happens and go to an and e near your home. It’s poor that you have been correctly informed about when the test could be done though.

RobinBobbing · 01/04/2025 11:46

I discharged myself after a blocked intestine that I was on the emergency surgery ward for that suddenly resolved itself. I was on my way to my dad’s funeral. I discharged myself then drove 4 hours to the funeral. I don’t regret it.
But I have an excellent home hospital team who I’m in contact with regularly. They look out for me and get me tests and consultant appointments (my complications are due to cancer treatment so I’m under their care).
I really do understand how frustrating being in hospital is. In total I’ve spent months in various wards. Some nights I needed to be there, some nights were inefficiency. But for the sake of a day/night just get the test as you might not get it otherwise.

Original poster
FoxRedPuppy · 01/04/2025 11:55

They didn’t have one of my medications and I ended up in withdrawal yesterday from it (venlafaxine) and it awful and probably why I’m so tearful today.

Then this morning they’ve asked if I can remember how many tablets they gave me to take this morning.

I’ve managed to get consultant down and she is reviewing my notes. She said I shouldn’t have been moved wards.

I am actually losing my mind though. Nothing to do, no clean clothes, nothing to wash my hair with. No fresh air. I’ve had no sleep.

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 01/04/2025 12:03

I discharged myself but it was after I had given birth and it was based on the medical team who were in charge out of hours having absolutely no understanding of the very complex and specialist genetic disorder that one of my kids (not the one I had just given birth to) had. I was 100% certain that nothing bad would happen (other than the normal risks of taking a young baby home) if I went home and they were just being cautious because they didn't know the condition.
In your situation I would stay in hospital

Chattie89 · 01/04/2025 12:37

Aw sorry OP sounds like you're really suffering. Hospital wards are like the 7th circle of hell in my opinion but it does sound like it'll be best in the long run to hang in there and get this done. Would be awful if you got home with your kids then became very unwell and you ended up right back where you are again next week.

Do you have a friend or neighbour who could pop in and bring you some clean clothes/toiletries/a decent sandwich? Could someone pop to M&S for pants/food if nobody has keys to your house? Are you able to walk around? If so, ask if you can go outside for 10 mins just to get some air. They let the smokers do this! A bit of sun on your face might help so much.

Do you have earphones with you? If not, could you buy some from the shop, there's usually a whsmith or something around the lobby area. Then get a really good audible book or something and just plug in. I was in hospital for a few days last year and I swear I only remained sane from listening to an entire brilliant book narrated by Nicola Walker for most of my stay.

Sending you hugs! Get well soon.

Original poster
FoxRedPuppy · 01/04/2025 12:50

@Chattie89 not really as I am not in my local hospital. I’m over an hour away. I have headphones but I’m so bored of podcasts and audiobooks. I’m not very good at just sitting still and listening to them, I always listen while doing stuff. I nearly fell asleep yesterday. If I do that I definitely wont sleep at night.

Until today I have been hooked to machine and have to call someone every time I need to go for a wee.

I finally have a mobile monitor. They’ve said I can go outside if I sign a disclaimer. I only have a gown though. And the clothes I came in. I can’t wear a bra because of monitor.

OP posts:
DutchTeenyPixie · 01/04/2025 12:55

OP I was in this exact situation, had a SCAD heart attack and my angiogram was pushed back and back.
I discharged myself on the Friday and they saw me as an outpatient on the next day they did angiograms (also later into the next week). Is that an option IF you feel well enough to return home?

SoManyTeeth · 01/04/2025 12:57

Mate, your heart just tried to kill you. Again. You know you need to stay for the tests.

Original poster
FoxRedPuppy · 01/04/2025 13:10

@SoManyTeeth not really. I don’t have any MI. If it was a SCAD, there is no treatment for it except rest and hope it heals.

But I’ve given my head a wobble and managed to talk to a consultant and I will stay in. With my manky hair and dirty pants 😂

OP posts:
SoManyTeeth · 01/04/2025 13:11

I once ordered emergency knickers via Amazon prime next-day… just saying Grin

KnickerFolder · 01/04/2025 13:13

Don’t leave against medical advice.

However, if you tell them that you want to self discharge, the hospital should have a policy on how that should be done. Usually it will say that if you are awaiting tests or procedures that can be done as an outpatient and there is no clear clinical reason why you need to remain in hospital, that should be arranged. If they say there is a clinical reason why you need to stay until after the tests have been done, it would be wise to accept that.

DPotter · 01/04/2025 13:24

Can you give us an idea where you are ? I'm in reach of a couple of hospitals and would be happy to drop off toiletries, etc, and I'm sure I'm not the only one

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