Child birthday party

[SassyCrab]

I met a girl twice from mum and baby groups so not great friends with her, but she’s invited me to her son’s birthday with my 1 year old. I have slight social anxiety at the minute and literally barely know her let alone any of her friends/family. Would I be rude not to attend or shall I just go? I just dont like awkward situations and I’m not the best with making conversation with people I don’t know. Also every time I would arrange to do something she would let me down etc so I just don’t know if I should feel bad

if you really don’t want to go just say you can’t make it, it’s not rude.
but also you’re going to want to be able to take your son to birthday parties at some point so it’s a good idea to start challenging your anxiety, it really won’t be as bad as your imagining.

If you don’t want to go, just say ‘I’m so sorry I’m busy that day, but I hope you have a wonderful time’.

That’s not rude, it would be rude to accept but then not turn up.

But get this sorted, your LO will miss out when they’re bigger if you don’t take them to social things.

Having a one year old is the perfect security in these situations. You can distract yourself by looking after your child. Nobody else is going to these birthday parties trying to make lifelong friends so I wouldn't worry about it. You probably won't have much more to say than "yes he's 1...his name is (insert here) and I know the friend from here". If you have social anxiety, this will probably be a good place for you to practice as you can walk off to change a nappy, or do something with the baby. But there will be plenty of birthday parties in the years to come, and you don't want your child to miss out so I would try to become more comfortable.

Maybe in future you can say you have another appointment to be at but you will pop in. That gives you an out while you get more comfortable in these situations.

That's being said, if she's let you down in the past, you certainly shouldn't feel pressure to go, so just let her know you can't this time.

No wonder people come on here saying they have nobody. Go and make friends.

it would be good for you to go. You’ll be surrounded by other children of the same age and all the parents will be in the same boat. You may find some of the conversations helpful and make you feel like you’re not the only one out there who struggles.

Don’t use the fact that she’s previously cancelled on you as a reason not to go. We all know what it’s like with a baby and sometime after a long testing night you just can’t make plans.

The important thing is that she’s invited you to this she is trying to make the effort and build a friendship.

If you really feel the need just drop her a message beforehand and explain that sometimes you don’t do great in new social settings and for her not to take any offence if you have to leave early etc.

You will find yourself in this kind of scenario many times over the coming years and will need to force yourself for the sake of your child. I can't count the number of times I've sat on the edge of kids' parties struggling to find someone to talk to, or made awkward conversation with a parent I've little in common with for the sake of a playdate. It just comes with the territory.

You don't want to go so just say thanks for the invite but I can't make it. Hope the party goes well

I would go. Usually at children's parties everyone is pretty busy looking after their children so there's not much time for chatting. They normally only go on a couple of hours so if you don't enjoy it at least you haven't wasted loads of time.

Apart from her letting you down before, do you like her and would like to become better friends? If so then go!

How rude! I have plenty of friends and my baby is very socialised as he attends nursery! I’ve met the girl twice and don’t know anyone which could be daunting for anyone! Be kind.

Thanks for everyone feedback. I think I will go just to build my confidence and push myself a bit more! Thank you 🥰