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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is a bad idea?

4 replies

thingsthatwere · 31/03/2025 21:31

My DSis and her bf have been living with her bf’s parents for the last 5yrs in order to save for deposit. Last year they said they were finally ready to look for a house but were having trouble finding something that fit their needs.

Unfortunately not long after, the company she worked for got into financial trouble and started under paying her by quite a significant amount, this went on for a few months. During that time her bf lost his job and he has struggled with his health so hasn’t found anything else yet and their savings are being used to help cover living costs. She’s now lost her job too and when we were chatting about it she said she’s planning to take a couple months off job hunting and maybe go travelling for a bit.

On the one hand I completely understand as her job was very physically and mentally demanding, she was totally burnt out and exhausted. Honestly I’m surprised she lasted so long and I’m not surprised she feels like she has earnt a bit of time off.

On the other hand I’m terrified that she is making a huge mistake. The circumstances mean that her savings have taken a massive hit and that’s only going to get worse the longer she’s off work. They are both mid 30’s so the chance of her being able to build back up enough of a deposit in time to have a chance of getting a mortgage is doubtful if she doesn’t get another job soon. She is still owed money from her previous employer and feels confident that this will top her savings back up but I can’t help but think..what if that doesn’t happen?

I know it’s her life and I definitely understand her reasons but aibu to think this is madness and try and talk to her about it?

OP posts:
CheeseyOnionPie · 31/03/2025 21:34

She’s a grown woman. You can giver her your honest opinion if she asks for it but I wouldn’t try to talk her out of it. It’s her life.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 31/03/2025 21:36

Life is short, let her enjoy hers in the way she wishes.

Eenameenadeeka · 31/03/2025 22:18

Not a choice id make, but not your place to tell her what to do.

Endofyear · 31/03/2025 23:20

Unless she asks your opinion, I'd keep it to yourself. She's a grown woman and can make her own decisions.

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