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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to use this childcare although it is for 'deprived' families

32 replies

ChirpyGirl · 14/05/2008 20:23

I was talking to HV earlier about finding a playgroup where DD1 (2.3) can go for a few hours a week to get used to other grownups looking after her and larger groups of kids than she is used to.
She mentioned that as I live in a deprived area of town I would be eligible for a free childcare place in some nurseries and could take that.
I am a SAHM and don't need the childcare but it would be nice for reasons above and as I have another DD (7months) so would be nice to have time with just her for swimming etc.

Is that out of order for me to 'take' a place that could go to someone who might desperately need it? I am not deprived/poverty line but would have to budget closely to find money for this if I had to pay.

Opinions?

OP posts:
PinkChick · 14/05/2008 20:25

speaking from experience, a lot of the families(were i am) wouldnt use this facility, i found (again were i am) the mum's couldnt be botherd to get up and take them to these groups, so they were really under used..if you need it/want it and a place has been offered take it!

stitch · 14/05/2008 20:26

they wouldnt offer it to you if it was going to be filled in by anyone needier

marmadukescarlet · 14/05/2008 20:42

Although slightly different..

I am currently attending a free parenting course run by local adult ed (we do not have any sure start/children's centre where they would normally be) it is my second one (slightly diff emphasis).

I am not their target market, it is only half full... of people who are not their target market.

I agree with pink.

tiredemma · 14/05/2008 20:45

When I worked with the HV's they wanted anybody to use the facilities at Surestart regardless of whether they needed them or not.
This was specifically so that it could be seen as a 'valuable resource' and not pulled at the first instance due to low use by the community.

Original poster
ChirpyGirl · 14/05/2008 20:54

I haven't been offered a place, haven't even contacted them yet. My HV (who is lovely) mentioned it today and I have been seriously considering it as it would do DD a world of good, but I just think I might be being cheap!

So shoudl I ask for a place and if I am offered take it then?

OP posts:
Mollymom · 14/05/2008 21:04

Yes-take the place, as others have said if its not used it'll go/be closed.

Also agree with Pink-it happens in my area too.

minouminou · 14/05/2008 21:07

god, yeah - i was gonna post and say what tiredemma said - so i'll just second her!

1dilemma · 14/05/2008 21:40

You'your family pay taxes don't you? Of course you should use this place then if you need it.
(Would that this government actually offered anything this useful to this humble taxpayer )

On another note are you sure you are eligable?
I'm under the impression you have to be in receipt of working tax credit/single parent or in some other way 'needy'

On a third note is she just talking about the nursery education grant?

On a final note I keep getting sent minutes of some meetings round here (I have no idea why) I've just chucked them in the recycling so I can't give you figures but this council seems to be spending literally hundreds of thousands of pounds a year on a variety of sessions that are poorly/non attended eg speach therapist running abby massage class folded after 2/3 sessions, they have outreach workers and family support workers and a whole plethora of titles that mean very little to me who issue reports saying thay in the last 3 months they have seen 5 clients 4 of whom were discharged wiht reassurance and 1 of whom was referred on to someone else.!!

On a final note (I mean it this time) it has been widely recognised that here in inner London it is the yummymummies who access the surestart babymassage and free creche

1dilemma · 14/05/2008 21:42

Sorry I've just seen her age she isn't talking about the NEG

(sorry about the typos
I mean baby and with

madamez · 14/05/2008 21:43

If you would struggle to pay for it then you are actually 'needy' as in you need it. You don't have to be a Ginsters-munching fag-smoking 12-year-old single mother to be allowed access to state-funded services, you know.

trixymalixy · 14/05/2008 21:47

If you are eligible then go for it!!!

1dilemma · 14/05/2008 21:49

You need to be 'needy' or pay over the ods round here madamez

1dilemma · 14/05/2008 21:50

Although as I said the received wisdom is in some areas that surestart is full of yummymummies!

madamez · 14/05/2008 22:40

This is getting a bit 'oooh, is it right for me to use public transport when I could afford a cab?' Should they meanstest P&T groups?
Dear Potential New Mummy Member
Please fill out the following to see if you are disadvantaged enough to attend our group.

We shop at
Netto
Iceland because we love that nice Kerry Katona
Waitrose
Waitrose but we only buy things from the past-sell-by-date cupboard honestly

My DD is called
Mooncup
Bacardi-Chanelle
Ethel
Hermione-Luna-Lovegood-Lily-Harry-Potter

My DP/DH is
Something in the City
Head of bogroll at Lidl
I can't remember which of them it was
Inside but for protesting against the Iraq War

I want my DC to attend your group to learn about
The environment
socialising with other kids
how to hotwire a car
crayons and glitter somewhere I don't have to clear it up.........

1dilemma · 14/05/2008 22:47

lol Madamez
v funny

Original poster
ChirpyGirl · 15/05/2008 20:07

lol madamez, my point wasn't that I couldn't afford it but I didn't need it as I am a SAHM so I am able to look after her all the time, I just fancy a morning off, I don't want to take it from someone who needs it to work IYSWIM.

I could pay for a session a week, like I say, I would need to budget but it wouldn't mean beans on toast for a week

(Oh, and I shop at none of those, mainly cos 2 of them don't exist where I live and I hate the fact that Iceland has no fecking parking...otherwise I would shop there...but that's another story!)

OP posts:
Bubble99 · 15/05/2008 20:11

In our area 'deprived' families don't seem to want to use it. So yes, use it - or it will close.

Original poster
ChirpyGirl · 15/05/2008 20:16

Sorry, 1dilemma, this is something called 'flying start' apparently, completely free nursery places for under 3's in deprived areas, no other benefits needed and not a grant.

OP posts:
chegirl · 15/05/2008 20:26

I dont know if I would describe myself as deprived (not a fantastic label) but we are on a very low income that could get lower any day (OH has MS and works very part time but may have to stop anytime, disabled LO and I cannot work for a while).
Anyway - point is we are probably classed as needy I would not object to you using facility. Just cos we are a bit poor and sad does not mean I only want my kids to mix with kids from poor, sad homes! I prefer groups to be mixed, not some sort of chav ghetto OR a so middle class that you are out of place if your kid is not at ballet, viola and Manderin classes by 8mths!

If you want your LO to go then do it (you have my permission

1dilemma · 17/05/2008 00:57

chirpy I think Madamez was amking fun of my comments

What I was trying to say is I'm sure it's called flying start or superstart or whatever in parts of eg Hackney too however in those areas it's widely recognised that the provision isn't used by those it was intended for but by people in £800000 pound houses whose dcs do do Mandarin and are just looking for someone to cover when the au-pair is at language classes

I'm guessing you're not a Londoner? I'm being scathing but from what I've heard and from the minutes of these meetings (and I have no idea why I'm getting them) it hardly seems like a great way to spend my hard earned cash does it?

Original poster
ChirpyGirl · 17/05/2008 20:29

I'm in south wales, so it's not your taxes!

OP posts:
1dilemma · 17/05/2008 22:31

phew

gothicmama · 17/05/2008 22:34

if you wouls struggle to fund teh place and it is aoffered to you take it up , in the long run if the places are taken funding is more likely to be granted in future years therefore you are doing the community a good turn as well as benefitiing both of you dc's

TotalChaos · 17/05/2008 22:36

even yummy mummies may need support - yummy mummies aren't immune from mental health problems and having children with special needs such that they would benefit from Surestart facilities.

1dilemma · 17/05/2008 22:37

The yummymummise I'm thinking off are well able to find their own playgroups