Not being able to spend Mother's Day with my own 10yo!

[SpringMonx]

I've been split from my daughter's Dad for coming up to 6 years now, he's remarried and he tries to have absolutely nothing to do with me. I.e. I've probably had about 5 emails in 2 years! He has our 10 year old daughter EOW and this year Mother's Day fell on his weekend. Other years it has too but he's offered to drop DD home to me so we can spend the day together. This year I didn't hear from him about swapping the day so to not rock the boat I didn't mention it either.

Que Mother's Day and I'm sat at home feeling pretty resentful that my 10yo whom I do most of the caring for is with her Dad & his new wife no doubt doing something nice. She doesn't have any kids herself. He hasn't even reminded DD to send me a text or get a card etc, although I did send her money so she could get something for me. My ex wouldn't even fathom getting something for me on her behalf. He hates my guts.

AIBU to feel a bit resentful about this? It would be nice if I could at least be appreciated on this day.

Did you ask if you could see your DD on Mother's Day?

ETA sorry, must have skimmed that bit about not wanting to rock the boat, in your OP. Ignore me

What son?

No need to be resentful, plan it for next weekend instead.

Plus side is that if you go for lunch or whatever it will be cheaper and less busy.

It's just a made up day in the calander so you can shift it to any old time.

So? My kids were with their dad over the weekend as well. So what?
Do something another day. It really really doesn’t matter.

My kids were with me for Mother’s Day, other than a quick card and kiss in the morning it was just another day. I really wouldn’t give it much thought.

I never used to fuss. We’d do something the next weekend. This year they were both working so we’re out in two weeks instead

I can see why you would be sad not to spend the day with your child but you should have asked. It's not his responsibility to do it for you. Do something nice next weekend instead?

I think you not having the conversation is the main issue here. You should have offered to swap weekends if it was something that important

We're doing something next weekend instead. My dd18 was working 12-10 (she waitresses, so a very busy day for her) and went straight from her bf's house, so it made sense.

Do something special this coming weekend instead. Take DD out and have her spend the money you gave on something nice for you.

This is what happens when parents split up. It's a price you pay having no control over your DC when they are with the other parent.

If it was important to you, you should have said.

I didn't see my mum yesterday, we'll do something on Friday instead. Just make some lovely plans for your weekend instead :)

Rise above it but remember in future for Father’s Day or if his birthday falls on your weekend.

Celebrate it this weekend instead.

You chose not to mention it so it’s a bit much to resent it. If you want something, ask for it. You know your wants aren’t going to be uppermost in your ex’s mind.