I'd start by having a frank conversation with DH, DD and SD, stating that you're noticing many toxic behaviours being exhibited and you're drawing a line in the sand, you will not tolerate these behaviours going forward.
Dont get drawn into an argument, dont try and justify yourself, dont get drawn into a "youve done this, she did this, he said that because she said this". Dont be tit for tat, just simply state youre not accepting it any more.
We won't be doing that. I'll resume communication when you want to communicate properly in a non toxic way.
And each time you see toxic, reiterate, this is a toxic behaviour as mentioned before, we don't accept toxic in this house anymore and walk away, don't engage.
Google:
Toxic behavior encompasses harmful, unpleasant, or malicious actions that negatively impact others, often characterized by control, manipulation, and a lack of empathy, leading to emotional distress and damage to relationships.
Here's a more detailed breakdown of toxic behavior:
Key Characteristics of Toxic People and Behaviors:
Control and Manipulation:
Toxic individuals often try to dominate relationships, exert control over others, and manipulate situations to their advantage.
Lack of Empathy and Accountability:
They may struggle to understand or acknowledge the feelings of others, and they often avoid taking responsibility for their actions, shifting blame or making excuses.
Constant Criticism and Belittling:
Toxic people frequently engage in negativity, criticizing, belittling, or undermining others, which can erode self-esteem and confidence.
Gaslighting and Denial of Reality:
They might try to make others question their own sanity or reality, often denying or distorting events to control the narrative.
Emotional Drain and Neglect:
Toxic individuals can drain your emotional energy, leaving you feeling exhausted and depleted, and they may neglect your needs and boundaries.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior:
They may express negativity or resentment indirectly, using passive-aggressive tactics to hurt or control others.
Jealousy and Possessiveness:
Toxic people may display excessive jealousy or possessiveness, creating a sense of insecurity and control within relationships.
Lying and Dishonesty:
They may lie, deceive, or manipulate to achieve their goals, building a foundation of distrust and manipulation.
Ignoring Boundaries:
They may disregard personal boundaries, making demands or acting in ways that are disrespectful or inappropriate.
Playing the Victim:
They may portray themselves as victims, even when they are the ones causing harm, manipulating others into feeling sorry for them.
Impact of Toxic Behavior:
Damaged Relationships:
Toxic behavior can severely damage relationships, leading to conflict, resentment, and even breakups.
Emotional Distress:
Constant exposure to toxic behavior can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and other mental health issues.
Workplace Problems:
In a professional setting, toxic employees can create a negative and unproductive work environment, impacting team dynamics and morale.
Difficulty in Trusting Others:
Experiencing toxic behavior can make it difficult to trust others and build healthy relationships in the future.
Self-Doubt and Confusion:
Toxic people can make you question your own judgment and sanity, leaving you feeling confused and unsure of yourself.