To ban iPads on school mornings?

[ChaoticCuppa]

DS11 has got into the habit of sneaking his iPad in the mornings before school, and it’s making everything a nightmare. I swear he used to be able to get dressed and ready in 15 mins, but now I’m reminding him 100 times to put his socks on because he’s too busy watching some YouTuber shouting about Minecraft.

I’ve tried taking it off him at bedtime so he can’t grab it first thing, but he somehow finds it in the morning anyway?? I caught him under his duvet with it today when he was supposed to be brushing his teeth! Meanwhile, DD5 is watching all this and now SHE wants her tablet too, and I just know DS18mo will be at it next.

DH thinks I’m overreacting and that I should just ‘give him a warning’ and take it away if he doesn’t listen, but I’m at the point where I just want to ban them completely before school. The whole morning routine is stressful enough without arguing over screen time.

So, WIBU to just take them away Mon-Fri and deal with the inevitable tantrum? Or is this one of those ‘pick your battles’ things? How do other people handle this??

(Posting for traffic!)

Can you block it on the router?

Well I wouldn’t be allowing a 5 year old to have a tablet at all, and the 11 year old should certainly not have unsupervised access.

You need to appropriately parent your kids.

Yanbu, ban it

I don't let dd have the tablet in the mornings

We listen to Greg James and like it, i dont let myself watch tv either 😄

You’re the parent - you make the rules! My kids were never allowed to be on screens before school. You make a rule and you enforce it!

I think you should be in charge of ipads maybe put them away at night, and give him after he's ready in the morning for 10 minutes before school.

YANBU just ban it. We have no screens or tv before school. I have the radio on in the kitchen while we do breakfast etc.

My husband had his phone the other morning and my toddler shouted no daddy no screens before pre school so the message is going in 😂

Make the rule 'no ipad before school' and if he defies you, take it away completely for a week. Let him know who makes the rules and that there are consequences for breaking them. I guarantee that will work.

You sound like they run you ragged I would get a locked box. For devices you don't seem to have very good hiding places

Just put it on downtime until after school?

Definitely ban it, you're the parent!

There are no screens in the mornings here with no intention of that changing. DS' school iPad is in his school bag from being packed the night before. If he takes it out against my request, it gets put on top of my wardrobe and he'll lose screen time the next time it's allowed.

What are the consequences when he takes the iPad when he knows he’s not supposed to? He’s 11 years old, definitely old
enough to know better. And dont add fuel to the fire by getting one for the 5 year old.
Is your DH around when you’re getting the kids to school? If not, and he has no idea what goes on the morning, his opinion is unhelpful and I would tell him so.

Oh sorry DS, it's broken...

YANBU to remove them. It is obvious that they are stopping him getting ready.

when DD was young, if she had the tv on in the morning, then she would not get ready so we had to switch it off.

They should be handing their ipads over to you at bedtime, and they don't get them back until you decide the following evening, ie after homework and any chores done.

you need to take control of the situation or it will just get worse. if he takes the ipad without permission then you keep it for longer. Buy a lockable box if necessary but make it very clear that you are in charge not him

I tell them they’re only allowed anything before school on a Friday- would that work?

DH has volunteered to manage iPads in the morning it seems. Well done him 👍 👍 👍 👍

Hadn’t thought about blocking it on the router actually, will have a look at how to do that. Might be a good backup plan if he keeps trying to sneak it!

You lock kids devices away at night and they don't reappear until after school. It's not difficult.

For goodness sake you’re the parent - just take it off him and lock it in a drawer or cupboard at night and say no!

My 12 and 14 year old don’t even have their phones back in the morning until they’re dressed and downstairs.
Of course you should just take it away. We have the radio on in the morning and that’s about it - no screens, not tv, no devices - it makes everything a lot smoother!
Start now and everyone will get used to it.

We have screens in the morning. For Chess, reading if they have a book on there or Duolingo only. Yes. I'm THAT parent.

Both screens are in the kitchen at the breakfast bar. We don't use the living room in the morning. It's up, dressed, breakfast and out.

This. Schools days everything is off by 9pm at the latest and left to charged downstairs. Internet is switched off in their devices using in a family app.
saying no isn’t a bad thing - it’s parenting.

Why are you so scared to parent him?

Do you have any parental controls set up on his iPad and phone? That would be the easiest way to sort it out. One way or another there is a bad dynamic in that your son sees nothing wrong with ‘sneaking’ his iPad and that you and your husband let him. Having to nag him 100 times to get ready is awful for everyone. how is this going to play at if you continue when he is older.

My kids loved to play on their games console but they were only allowed if they were well behaved. The rules and the consequences were clear and simple and I was very consistent. They were allowed, say, 1 hour a day and any complaints would mean they would not be allowed to play the following day, if they still complained they were not allowed to play for a week. I know that it won’t work for all kids but it worked brilliantly for mine.

Are you a woman or a mouse? Just stop being so spineless and remove the damn thing already

Why are you not taking it at night and being in charge of it.
you are the parent!