19yo DDs Rapid Weight Gain

[chinup123]

My AIBU is should I be doing more or let her deal with this as an adult. It is worrying me sick and I feel she is burying her head in the sand with it.

My DD is about 5"8 and whilst she's never been 'skinny' she has always been what I would consider to be a healthy weight throughout her childhood and up until around age 17.

Over the past 2 years I estimate she has gained around 6 stone. I don't believe this entirely due to diet and I'm very worried that there is an underlying condition causing or exacerbating it. I haven't a clue what though. Around the same sort of time she started experiencing numbness and pain in her legs and since then her legs have swelled to what I would say twice the size of what they should be. Bits of googling seem to indicate lymphoedema possibly?

For the first part of those 2 years she was still at home and subject to my meal planning and food shopping and she was not overeating. Since September she has been at uni so I have less insight into what she eats but I have helped her with meal planning and food shopping on occasion and she seems to be eating relatively healthy, but I have no idea in terms of portion sizes or if she is stocking up on treats. She is on a course where she is on placement and sometimes on nights and I know she lets food choices slip when she is on shift as its difficult to be motivated to cook and meal prep.

I don't think that even if she is making some unhealthy food choices it would equate to this amount of rapid weight gain. She was on hormone based contraception from age 15, she has come off this in the past 6 months as we felt this could be a contributing factor.

Her legs and the weight gain are causing pain which is having the knock on effect of not being able to exercise probably so this is something that just seems it will get worse. She claims the bones in her feet hurt and she can 'feel all her bones' in terms of pain.

She went to the GP about 12 months ago and was largely fobbed off. She was told by a female GP, that 'women sometimes gain weight and sometimes gain weight in specific areas' and was essentially told to exercise more. She was given a physio referral but that took so long to come through, she was at Uni by that time and needed a new referral for somewhere close to her. She has been to A&E once when her leg went numb, she had some tests done, blood pressure was flagged as being a bit unusual down one side of her body but nothing that concerned anyone. No follow up.

She has registered with new GP in her Uni town but is struggling to get an appointment. I think she is also reluctant and untrusting of them that she will just be told she's overweight and to exercise.

It has massively effected her confidence, she doesn't go out much and struggles to buy clothes. I know it upsets her.

I've been pushing her to get to the GP for 6 months and this week she has an appointment. If she doesn't get a positive reaction from the GP to investigate possible causes, what should I do? Should we go private? I don't think we could afford it, should I buy diet pills/jabs? I don't want to, as I feel there is something underlying causing/contributing to this and that needs to be investigated.

Does anyone have any advice on what it could be or experienced anything similar?

Thanks, sorry that's a long read.

Can you offer to go with her ? Would she no ok with that ?

If she's a student, it's probably beer

I can't really as I've got work and its in her Uni city so I can't get there this week. I would if I could, I went to previous appointments.

Its not beer, she doesn't really drink, weight gain started whilst still at home when she didn't really drink, she's not going out as she doesn't really enjoy it and also doesn't like getting dressed up anymore because of her size to go out. She will have a couple of ciders every now and again tops.

Tell her to write down what she thinks it could be so that she has a lost of symptoms she can go through at the appointment and so she can make firm points about "I have this symptom, it could indicate..." - my immediate thoughts are under-active thyroid, kidney issues, lipodema or lymphoedema. She needs to push the GP for blood tests at the very least and if they say no then she needs to ask for a second opinion, I know it can be tricky if she's not feeling confident in herself right now.

I remember my house proctor referring to freshers' ten , which related to the average fresher gaining at least ten pounds from the usual high carb high cheese student diet , ah how we laughed, until the end of first year. Most students other than the very sporty gain weight in first year. She needs to keep an honest diary for a week of what she's eating, some of the additional health issues will be caused by gaining 6 stone rather than the other way around. Also going out less and exercising less it'll become a vicious cycle. Especially as if she's staying in a lot she'll be more likely to be snacking. I say this as someone with PCOS who has had numerous weight struggles over the years. Can she swim? It's a good form of exercise for those with joint pain.

Start with a full set of blood tests. If GP won’t order them then pay privately - they cost between £85-£125. It could be hypothyroidism but whatever it is it is significant enough not to ignore.

In terms of a private consultation what could you afford

Because without delving further into the range of things you've mentioned it could be any number of things, or none of these, all interacting with each other

Heart issues resulting in swollen legs, and if so, caused by weight gain or coincidental to the weight gain or complicated by the weight gain?
Anxiety resulting in sensation of pain/numbness, low mood
Thyroid issues resulting in numbness/swelling of legs, exacerbated or complicated by possible heart issues.
Anxiety resulting in overeating
Weight gain causing nerve compression due to carrying extra weight, affecting circulation, affecting nerve sensation.
Has she actually put on 6 stone or is that a guesstimate
Plain old overeating, Im sure someone will come along and say you cant put that much weight on over such a short period of time without it being something hormonal, Im living proof that you can
However, hormonal issues are something to add to the list of possible issues, has she got PCOS, is she pre diabetic etc

There are loads more possibilities and your average 6 minute GP consutlation will not even touch the surface or consider the interplay between different parts of the body and system or different possible disorders. All they will see is fat young girl, at uni, lose weight. They might do a blood test for PCOS if pushed and if there are other symptoms, bad skin, hair, lack of periods etc.

@chinup123

Thyroid, or possibly stress related?

www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19992956/unexplained-weight-gain/

Thanks all. I am aware that some of this weight gain will be due to her being away at Uni, and there's an inevitability around that (been there, seen it happen) but its definitely more than normal and it was in progress before Uni.

@soupyspoon you're very right, there are so many variables and you can't expect a GP to be able to look at that in one consultation and I think that's partly why she is finding it daunting to go and to try and explain. I've said to her to start with what you think is the biggest issue, which we agreed is her legs (swelling, numbness, pain).

I've told her to have some pictures to show the GP of herself 2 years ago so they can see the extent of the weight gain and also the difference in her legs to give some context. 6 stone is my estimate as I know she was around 12 stone a couple of years ago and recently weighed herself as over 18 stone.

I couldn't afford very much in terms of private, but if I thought it would help I would take out a loan or something to finance it. I'm a bit wary of starting on that route when we don't have a clue as to what could be going on, I have been warned that going private at the investigation stage can really see costs escalate rapidly.

Just looking at the costs now on BUPA and an initial appointment for health assessment looks just about affordable plus could spread the cost but its how much will it cost past that point. Or can you undergo initial assessments and tests privately and then revert back to the NHS for the treatment and they will take on board the outcomes of the assessments and tests?

DD is training to be a Nurse, I think this has only reduced her faith in her being able to be treated with the NHS, she knows how much they are up against it first hand. I worry she will ultimately struggle to complete her course unless she does something about her own health though.

@chinup123 massive hugs to you both.

1. id keep a food diary on something like fitness pal or nutra check so she can show the softie her standard weekly or better - monthly diet. They can see her portion sizes etc. then they can’t fob her off with oh you eat too much.
2. also log all daily steps and any exercise. Then they can’t fob her off with that.
3. ask her to insist on bloods done for thyroid and everything else.
4. ask her to monitor her blood pressure and chart it - fingertip thingy is cheap on Amazon.
5. same with her cycle. How often, long, blood loss, clots, pain etc. detail it all.

The more she can advocate for herself and show this isn’t ‘just’ a lazy lifestyle - the further she can get with referrals etc.

are there any similar issues in the family? Any siblings… show the family history isnt all like this and that her weight gain was fast with a healthy diet - and she needs to push push push the nhs. If she can’t advocate for herself how will she manage as a nurse for others? She needs to take some of the passion for nursing and apply it to herself. She deserves better support from the nhs.

good luck.

She must keep an accurate food diary for at least 3 to 4 weeks - because at least some of the gain might well be to do with what she is eating. Most of us underestimate what we are actually eating.

What is she drinking in terms of non alcoholic drinks? That might well be significant.

I hope she gets some good advice.

Thats not rapid. 6 stone in 2 years is around 3.5lbs a month or less than a pound a week.

It could well be over eating over a long period of time. Coupled with inactivity- the heavier she gets the less she moves the more weight she gains. Its tempting to think it's a medical condition but most unlikely.

If she won't see about it, she's an adult.

Does it look like lipedema?
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/17175-lipedema

@TheMimsy thank you that is really helpful.

@Philodendrine yes it does, I said lymphoedema in my OP I get this mixed up with Lipedema. DD's legs look like Stage 3, although there seems to be more of a build up in her lower legs than in her thighs. I think one of those conditions is water retention and this was ruled out (albeit briefly) with GP about 12 months ago, she didn't think it was fluid.

Not helpful

oh that’s horrid.
Would she let you join her at an appointment with a different GP?

I was fobbed off for years from that age.

turns out I have Hashimotos hypothyroidism. By the time it was diagnosed in my 30s, my thyroid has basically been killed off by the autoimmune attack.

my mother suffers with more than 1 AI disease and she kept saying to me that this sounded similar and I should speak to the GP.

my various GPs maintained I was all normal and should exercise more and take up yoga (yes seriously.)

so yes. Please do support her if she will allow it.

i will for my kids if the time comes

@AnonSW20 thank you, thyroid issues do concern me, and it baffles me that it hasn't been looked at as an option for her.

There is no real family history in terms of health problems or weight issues.

Theres a couple of options perhaps of how to do it the most efficient way

I often have a full range of tests from Medichecks, there are other providers, and they often do 20% off offers to tempt you in

So say you did a full range of the whole thing, including the kitchen sink, then get those results, either way something might be not right, they also test for things the NHS doesnt, like T4 within Thyroid which is instrumental but the NHS doesnt test for it,

Then have your private consultation so the bloods are there to be examined already