Is very hard.
My mum and I had plans today which she cancelled this morning. This also involved letting my dc down. She said she’d been unwell overnight but she does this all the time and it’s often code for ‘I can’t be arsed’ or ‘I’d rather stay at home and drink.’
I took the dc out anyway and when we got back I went to my mums to drop off her flowers and card but my toddler was tired and irritable by this point and didn’t want to stay so because we left quickly I got a passive aggressive ‘oh well happy Mother’s Day to me then’. Clearly forgetting that I too am a mother.
She hasn’t always been this way. We lost my dad 8 years ago and since then she has just changed completely. She has MH issues which she won’t address. Drinks to the point of injuring herself and falling out with people. Makes very little effort with my dc but seems put out that they don’t bother with going to see her. It’s all really upsetting and draining especially on a day like this when everyone else is all over Facebook sharing how supportive and loving their mums are. I couldn’t bring myself to write anything as it felt so false but no doubt I will be a bad daughter for that too.
I would never go NC as she still has moments of being her old self but ultimately I’ve come to expect disappointment and frustration with her. And I’ve tried to help her, encourage her to seek help and so on but she’s not interested.
Anyone else in the same boat and feeling rubbish after today?