Shit mothers day anyone?

[ladygindiva]

Competitive thread for those whose mother's day was shite like every other day. In my case because autistic DD in full meltdown mode before I'd even got out of bed, I have a horrendous chest infection but still had to go to work and toxic abusive ex gave me a mouthful of verbal abuse and now usual Sunday night shite of DD spiralling about school tomorrow. There's more but I'm too tired and ill to type. Come aboard and cheer me up by telling me how crap your day was. Pity party, all welcome.

I don't want presents, I’d rather see my adult kids, but yesterday I was sent the smallest packet of crap chocolate and card by my oldest, nothing from the middle one, and a card from the youngest who is still at home. DH bought me a spring planted pot for the garden to make me feel like I’d got an actual present.
I have always got my parents something, and I’ve always visited them on or before the day. I just don’t know where I went wrong with mine.

Ds took his own life 6 months ago but actually yesterday was ok. Card and gin from their sibling who lives 4 hours away.
I am not personally bothered about the day and never have been, as I'd rather be appreciated every day. Some of you need to have higher standards and stop being martyrs.

So sorry to all those who have lost someone dear.
It wasn't awful, DD5 had done a card/gift from the pta stall at school and my parents had helped her arrange a small gift. But it's been a tough week for listening after coming back from her weekend with STBXH. He has very few, if any, rules and generally sticks to treat meals. It means she finds the transition back to set bed times/reading for school/home cooked dinners etc difficult so can fight against it. Predictably he didn't even acknowledge the day. I've tried to be the bigger person and kept sending token gifts to him/his family for occasions so DD doesn't get upset at being empty handed but it's tough!

There was another thread about how silly it is to expect some sort of way of marking mothers day. This really to me shows how under appreciated women are and how we are supposed to be fine with that because it’s childish to expect any consideration. The sheer amount of labour women do for their families should be recognised throughout the year imo but if you can’t do that you can at least make a bloody effort of mothers day.

I’m so sorry to everyone who felt let down x

Mine was pretty shit. 2 adults DCs - one at uni and one back home having graduated last year. That in itself has caused endless problems. So he was out on Saturday - said he'd be back when the pub shut, finally rolled in at 6.30am, so I'd been awake most of the night worrying (we don't live in the best area). Got a text message from uni DD. No card.
DS didn't appear until mid afternoon. I'd taken myself off to the park while DH saw his mum - didn't trust myself not to say something I might have regretted to DS if I'd been on my own. Did eventually get a card at about 4pm. No apology for the previous night though. This is the fifth time he's been out past 1am this week. DH and I both have to get up for work at 6.30. Thankfully he starts a 'proper' job next week so hoping the social life calms down.
DH gave me breakfast in bed, and cooked dinner - no issues there. We're both just wondering where we went wrong with the kids.

All of you that had a shit day should sort your own day next year, or better still arrange a day off from
mum duties soon ( if possible , I know its not always that easy!). Go for lunch/ afternoon tea or just a wander round somewhere pretty or book a spa day if funds allow. It’s not nice being taken for granted. Sometimes we need to treat ourselves!

Yeah I’m kinda wondering that too. My eldest who doesn’t live at home didn’t even text let alone send a card. No effort from the others bar the 11 year old with the school made card. Would it actually kill them to pick up flowers and something I’d like. I have a very obvious hobby that is so easy to buy for and not expensive or a particular jewellery brand that I like to collect..but no!
When I was a child (really young) I was able to buy my mum something. She probably still has every little trinket I bought with my pocket money. Maybe it’s a generational thing.
There are no issues here with the kids, we have good relationships so I don’t understand the lack of care or consideration. Kids are just self absorbed these days.

Mine was a shit day but not really because it was Mother's Day. Got breakfast in bed from DC1 and cards from both DC (primary age, so they did them at school) which was lovely. We've been having building work done on our house though so the whole rest of the day was shifting furniture, cleaning etc which culminated in DH and I having a massive argument about basically nothing because we were both knackered.

My toddler projectile vomited all over me. Stripped off the dirty clothes, cuddled baby who immediately fell asleep so I spent the afternoon on the sofa in bra and pants holding my sweaty son!

I was awoken at 12:01am by my 15 month old non-sleeper, then about every 20 mins thereafter, often via a smack to my infected jaw (awaiting emergency dentist appointment). He is cutting his fangs to be fair to him.

Toddler decides he's done sleeping around 8am. Get up and DH says 'well the clocks changed so really he let you lie in until 9', at which point I reminded him the clocks had gone forward so it was infact 7am not 9am by old clock. After breakfast DH gave said toddler a bag of presents and a card to give to me, which the toddler promptly hid in the washing machine and had a tantrum if we tried to remove them 😅.

He's also obsessed with old McDonald at the moment, so he runs around yelling 'baaaa' and 'moooo' and 'quack' and God help you if you don't realise quick enough he's demanding you sing it.

Over 39 weeks pregnant with my first and spent my mothers day in the labour ward with a headache and high blood pressure which then settled so I got sent back home.

I was hoping she might make an apperance but nope still waiting.

Mine was also shit,no effort or thought,I ended up spring cleaning the whole house!.I did lock myself in the bathroom,opened a bottle of Prosecco (I bought myself)an had a nice relaxing bath,happy shit Mother’s Day!

Hey I don’t like Mother’s Day at all since I lost my mum 5 years ago & have had a few years with little effort from DH & teens. My group of friends are all the same, I had it out with DH a few years ago so he knows how I feel / I’d just like a bit of effort. This year i suggested a lunch on Sunday for the family plus DH mum & dad. DH booked it, got kids organised & sorted his mums card & gift. I went to the cemetery in the morning, then we had the lunch which was really nice & then at teatime my group of pals got together for food and drinks at my friends house. It ended up being a nice day. I’d just say don’t expect too much from the family and just plan some nice things yourself and you will probably find friends who are in the same boat. I also stayed off Facebook etc & read a book instead as better for my mental health x

Have been searching for a thread for solidarity. I’m also disappointed with yesterday. A box of chocolates that DH added to the weekly food shop. No homemade card but I did get a shop bought one that DH wrote. My kids are both primary so don’t expect too much from them but every Father’s Day I take them to the shops to buy something for him and make sure there are hand made cards for him. I’m not going to bother this year which is just miserable for everyone but I just can’t stand that feeling today that I don’t matter.

Chocolates and a card sounds lovely.

It was my first Mother’s Day and I have a 2 month old DS. Got given some flowers and chocolate which was nice. However I spent my day sat in DP’s mum’s and I had to do the driving there and back (3 hours driving in total which tires me out). Would have been nice to at least have breakfast in bed or be able to go for a nice walk at some point.

Next year I will be treating myself and my DM to a spa day and DP can look after DS. I really hope he’s not expecting any nice plans for father’s day.

I can’t fault my two adult children, who still live at home because they both bought me cards and presents and gave them to me before they both headed off for work. We had crappy shove in the microwave dinners later because of them working until late.
H however. We usually make each other a full English breakfast on birthdays and Mother’s/Father’s Day but I didn’t even get a slice of toast for my birthday a few weeks back. Then yesterday he brought fried eggs on toast up (nice surprise but not the usual cooked breakfast) and just muttered something about ketchup. No, ‘Thanks for being a great mum’ or anything.
Fine. Be thankful.
I lost my mum and he knows I usually take flowers to her grave. I’m unwell at the moment and not too mobile without help and he buggered off to ‘work’ (he’s self-employed and really didn’t need to rush off), he said he ‘forgot’ to offer to take me there. I was obviously upset and I then got a barrage of his nastiness before he stormed off. So as the kids were both working, I sat on my own all day until they came in.
I just get down when you see all these men on SM praising their wives/partners and how amazing they are and how thankful they are to have them in their lives and yet mine preferred to raise his voice to me and leave me in tears.
I am honestly so thankful for my children for making me feel special and that’s the main thing I suppose.

Thanks for starting this and sorry that you are having such a tough time. You are definitely not alone in this. Social media does not help either.

I do know that there are more important things in the world but honestly I am just to sad and disappointed as I know I work like a dog for all three of my kids. Eldest DS (24) who is a lovely person got up and made me breakfast and gave me a card before he left for work. Everyone else was sleeping off the night before including DH who then dragged me into his self imposed 'last minute packing for his 5 day golf holiday/ I am running late for the airport' meltdown. He was snapping at everyone but mostly me because I wouldn't go find his gear for him. I am not going on a holiday but will spend this week at work/ running the house as usual. No one had anything planned for Mother's Day so I ended up taxiing H to the airport because it was too late to get an actual taxi, DD (18) to her afternoon activity amidst a storm of temper tantrum because someone changed something nonsensical and the other DS (22) sent me a text when he got up at 3pm!. He then left when I pointed out how rubbish they were and went to stay with his g/f because.... they were celebrating Mother's Day in her house. I then gave myself a slap up meal of a bottle of white wine and a packet of peanuts! The vindictive side of me has been planning the new world order in my house - none of them do a thing so there will be a carefully calibrated chores list devised which will heavily favour DS1! Might re-write the will too (only kidding on that last one). Feels good to get that off my chest as have been quietly seething since seeing the Social Media posts from so many friends and family members as they were celebrated and indulged by their grateful families.

Its the lack of effort and a plan for it that stings - particularly when so much gets done in the other direction. I am also going to do vanishingly little for Fathers Day.

My go to was white wine - might try Prosecco next time!

not even a text, shit day

I've got a combined kidney, chest and sinus infection. Moved to a new flat on Mother's Day and it's been a nightmare with leaks and no hot water. Then the kids also chose yesterday to bring up the whole single parent thing and asked if daddy didn't live with us because he didn't love me anymore! Gooooood times

I had a lovely bouquet of flowers in a Hatbox delivered to the door - really fabulous. Only problem was it was a miss-delivery and was for a house around the corner and not me, I got a a bunch of flowers from Aldi with the 9:99 price tag still attached.

I’m really sorry to hear of anybody having a rubbish Mother’s Day. You all deserve a great deal of appreciation. Don’t really know what else to say other than I’m sorry and saddened to hear so many stories of such little effort 🥲