Husband swearing

[OneChirpyPlumRobin]

Need some advice. My husband sometimes swears around the children and our eldest has started using it against him. If my husband is telling him off for something he doesn’t agree with he’ll swear at him because he knows he’ll get a reaction. My husband sometimes asks me to have a word with him about the swearing but if I’m honest I don’t really feel like I have a leg to stand on when he’s heard the swearing in our house. Would you side with your husband despite the fact you’ve asked your husband not to swear? I occasionally say “well he’s got that from you” and it really winds him up but he should be modelling good language/behaviour. Should we always be a team or should I be sticking up for my son?

If he doesn't want his son swearing, he should stop swearing around his son.

Also, why is he asking you to have a word with your son about the swearing? He's also a parent here, he can just as easily have a word.

I tend to be the calmer one so I think he does it more of a can you have a word with him whilst I cool off kind of thing. He said he knows he needs to stop swearing but in the meantime I should be telling our son that it’s unacceptable. My argument is that if he models good behaviour then I won’t need to tell him…he’ll start to realise it’s not acceptable when he sees that no one else is doing it. His argument is that how can he change when I’m not supporting him by “having a word”.

He’s swearing because it’s an adult thing and he’s the adult, your son is a child and isn’t allowed to swear. Your husband needs to stop swearing around him seen as this is causing an issue, but it’s not hypocritical to tell your son not to swear in your home. I wouldn’t swear in front of my dad or grandparents now because it’s disrespectful and they wouldn’t like it. Does my grandma swear when I’m around? Of course she does. Respect your elders and all that.

Again your son is challenging boundaries so you should stand together with your husband because that’s how good relationships work. How old is your child?

Thank you for this. I’m asking because I’m not sure what the right thing to do is. I’m happy to stand by my husband and work through this together if it’s the right thing to do. He’s 11 so is also hearing some swearing at school.

Well yes you should be a team when parenting but it should be your H who unites with you and stop his swearing.

How can you possibly chastise your son for following his father's example?

I live near to door to a family who use the most atrocious language to their children and now the 10 year old can be heard swearing and shouting back at them. It's really really sad actually.

Your H needs to take this issue seriously.

In our house anyone swears (adult or child) they are met with ‘language’ from me. (As in I Firmly say ‘language!’ To show my disapproval)

Swearing is not needed. It is not acceptable and everyone is pulled up on it equally .