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Original poster

I bought my own flowers

29 replies

omgrightnow · 30/03/2025 20:12

Happy mother's day everyone.

My 3 kids (11, 13 and 15) woke up this morning, each gave me a hug and wished me a happy mother's day. They remembered at least.

For once, I've not had any screaming at me or fall outs today. There have been so many upsetting issues here recently, I can't tell you.

I'm divorced but on fairly good terms with their dad. He's messaged me a lot today about my son's football but no mention of mother's day. He's bought me flowers in the past for the kids after we split. Not this time, apparently.

Bit shit, really. Seen a million posts on FB, seen loads of women when out and about today being taken out & loved. All the mums at football this morning were going somewhere or doing something with their families

Called my own mum in her 80s this morning, who lives over 200 miles away from me. I'd sent her a card & flowers in post.

I stopped in at the supermarket on way back from footy match this morning and bought myself some wilted, reduced price flowers and some g&t.

Just a bit shit being a single parent.

Schools don't go there anymore.

Harummmph.

OP posts:
minnienono · 30/03/2025 20:15

At your kids age they will have pocket money and could have bought a modest bunch from a supermarket themselves, it isn’t your ex husbands responsibility

BeaAndBen · 30/03/2025 20:17

I buy my own flowers anyway. At 11-15, I can understand your ex assuming your three kids were old enough to have it covered. But I'm sorry you were disappointed - I suggest making it OVERT to your children about what you want in future.

That's what it took here (thank you, autism and ADHD)

RossGellersCat · 30/03/2025 20:18

Happy Mother's Day OP. I am not a single mum (my children are 3 and 6 so unable to get me anything themselves). I bought my own flowers yesterday and have to say even though it would be nice to be given them, I've had a lot of joy looking at the them today. I've told myself I'm channelling my inner Miley Cyrus. 😅

Smallmercies · 30/03/2025 20:18

Why did you buy yourself wilted flowers? Treat yourself the way you'd like others to treat you!

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 30/03/2025 20:22

I had a very very mixed day today

It's just me and dd who is almost 6 and is autistic, so doesn't know what today is

Thankfully her school gave me a card. Really meant a lot as that's the only one I got

Took dd to a flower market and she had a huge embarrassing meltdown

Bought myself an £8 pack of tulips that have fallen apart

Bought myself a salt beef beigel which i had to queue for ages for with dd on my shoulders - was only okay

Told my lovely neighbours that I might be moving so they can't park their car on my front garden for much longer - they were getting parking tickets from an over zealous parking inspector that loves to harass our street. Feel bad

Underwhelming day tbh 😄

But, these kids see us as their constant. They're safe with us, and don't worry about us because we're always there and are going nowhere! There's comfort in that, I'm sure. Somewhere 😄😄

Sorry it hasn't been a great one - once they get a bit older, and more aware, I'm sure they'll do more for you, and probably want to make up for these years.

I hope you'll be able to put your feet up and enjoy your g&t. Sounds like you've had quite the year and deserve it 💕

Your ex should've done something though! I simply wouldn't do anything for him for father's day xx

ilovesooty · 30/03/2025 20:25

Your children are old enough to buy a bunch of flowers without their father's input. And there's no reason why school needs to be involved at all.

FedUpandEatingChocolate · 30/03/2025 20:25

I'm not sure it's that much better when your DH is a bit crap! Kids made me cards, DH didn't get me anything. He spent over £30 on plants for his mother and step mother, and a card for his mum. He's just thrown a strop because I asked him to unload the dishwasher (he's been on his laptop since coming home from his mum's).

Bathnet · 30/03/2025 20:28

You need to look at how you’re raising your kids. They’re definitely old enough to have managed this themselves!! Even my 5 year old had initiated making a card before his dad even got involved

StMarie4me · 30/03/2025 20:28

Your kids should have done something. Tell them that next year you’d like some flowers etc.

AliceMcK · 30/03/2025 20:28

I met my DH at 35, before that I’d spent most of my adult life single and alone so I always made sure I made myself feel special on occasions.

im not a Miley Cyrus fan, but I’m loving her song Flowrs at the moment. The Lyrics remind me that we don’t need anyone else to make us feel special!

“I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don't understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can”

This is absolutely what I have always done for myself.

ConflictofInterest · 30/03/2025 20:33

I bought myself flowers too. I got a huge bunch of UK grown scented narcissus through the post and they have cheered me up all day. I do have a DH but he leaves admin tasks like Mother's Day/Birthdays/Christmas /holidays etc to the women (me). I would recommend ordering yourself some for Easter/any occasion they are happiness on a stem.

ComtesseDeSpair · 30/03/2025 20:34

Your children remembered, and they love you. That’s what Mother’s Day is about. There’s no competition. They’re at an awkward age: in years to come, when they can, they’ll be taking you out, too. Somebody else’s husband doing whatever doesn’t mean their children love them more.

Buying your own flowers is great - and something you should do for yourself just because it makes you happy. Don’t undervalue yourself by deliberately buying wilted reduced price anything.

Smallmercies · 30/03/2025 20:35

The thought of someone miserably buying themselves wilted flowers is so depressing; flowers should be bought joyfully! Buy yourself the good flowers! Martyrdom is horrible for everyone, the martyr included.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/03/2025 20:38

Why buy yourself shit flowers? The kids are old enough to choose what to do, and too old for school input so they’ve done what they want for you. It’s not partners day it’s Mother’s Day. Next time buy yourself decent flowers and ask them to get you a card at least.

BeaAndBen · 30/03/2025 20:38

RossGellersCat · 30/03/2025 20:18

Happy Mother's Day OP. I am not a single mum (my children are 3 and 6 so unable to get me anything themselves). I bought my own flowers yesterday and have to say even though it would be nice to be given them, I've had a lot of joy looking at the them today. I've told myself I'm channelling my inner Miley Cyrus. 😅

Christ, I'm old.

I had no idea what Miley Cyrus had to do with anything but I always tell myself I'm channelling my Mrs Dalloway when I buy the flowers myself. Very Bloomsbury Group.

Bitofanchange · 30/03/2025 20:40

Your children are old enough to buy flowers, just why did you buy half dead flowers?

Fiery30 · 30/03/2025 20:40

Why did you have to buy yourself wilted flowers, when you could have beautiful fresh tulips or similar? It seems as if you are feeling pity for yourself and expecting the same from others. Your kids are old enough to know and realise what Mother's day means to you and could have made an effort together. Is this something you have expressed to them about to foster that environment at home?

BusyMum47 · 30/03/2025 20:41

@omgrightnow

Sorry you had a disappointing Mother's Day but kids aged 11, 13 & 15 are absolutely old enough to get their acts together & come up with a card & a bunch of flowers or box of chocs etc - I'd be telling them how upset you are!

StupidBacteria · 30/03/2025 20:51

I’m sorry you are feeling sad OP. I went through 10 years with me ex never ever doing anything for mothers day, or getting me flowers but still expecting me to do all the work and parenting all day like every day. I personally found it easier when he was no longer there and ironically he then made a huge deal of buying me shit on the kids behalf after we split and I never wanted any of it because it wasn’t from them and what was the point?

to me - what matters about Mothering Sunday is your kids thinking about what you do for them and letting you know that they see it and appreciate it. Your kids did this for you which is what means something.

I really hope that you enjoy your G&T and I hope you are happier in general without your ex. Flowers

Original poster
omgrightnow · 30/03/2025 20:55

Thanks to those who have pointed out helpfully that I've not imposed the importance to my kids the appreciation of parenting.

Perhaps when solo, the lesson is quieter than if there were 2 present, backing each other up.

I didn't expect gifts. They have barely any pocket money because I can't give it to them. Homemade cards which I've had previously would have been amazing. They just didn't think to do that.

The absence of my ex, simply adding on to one of his many, many texts this morning asking for updates about how my son was doing at his footy game, saying simply 'Happy Mother's Day - I know it's been so hard recently but I appreciate you're doing a great job' was missed.

The flowers I bought myself were wilted only because they were the last lot going! I was lucky to get even a shitty bunch.

Nice one, everyone. I take note of most things that go on in Mumsnet. If I lectured my kids about how I needed to be treated like some kind of prinnie on Mother's Day, I'd surely be a narc. I'm not one. Just a bit disappointed that the biggest job I undertake in life leaves me feeling quite underrecognised.

Fuck it - I'll get over it.

OP posts:
Original poster
omgrightnow · 30/03/2025 21:03

And thank you - sincerely - to those who were kind to me then. I really appreciate it. Hey - have some wilted flowers on me - I have loads! 🌼 xx

OP posts:
Smallmercies · 30/03/2025 21:05

Next time don't buy the wilted flowers - buy chocolate instead!

Bitofanchange · 30/03/2025 21:06

Smallmercies · 30/03/2025 21:05

Next time don't buy the wilted flowers - buy chocolate instead!

And don’t share it…. Even if you’ve got a six year old child!

Smallmercies · 30/03/2025 21:07

Everyone repeat after me: I WILL NOT BUY MYSELF WILTED FLOWERS!!! 💐💐💐

MyKingdomForACat · 30/03/2025 21:07

I wrote my name in the sand. Talked to myself for hours…

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