Taxi driver called me "darling" but called my husband "sir"

[orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements]

We went out for a lovely mothers' day lunch today and took a taxi so my husband and I could both have a drink.

The taxi driver was quite chatty and called me "darling" but called my husband "sir".

Now it's not that I mind so much being called darling, not a huge fan but not bothered either. It's not that I require a formal address. It was more the unmatched form of address. If he is "sir" then I should be "madam".

If he'd called my husband "mate" but called me "darling" I wouldn't have been bothered.

AIBU?

I agree that mate is the equivalent of darling but as I’ll not see him again, it wouldn’t bother me so much.

I wouldn't concern myself but agree it's sexist

Happy mothers day 🥰

You too xx

Good lord if that's all you have to worry about in life then you have a wonderful life, have a good day.

It's possible to have major things going on, and still notice the small stuff. There was no reason to be rude.

Taxi driver wanted to treat each of you as an individual .

Children are taught to do this unmatched thing by calling their teachers sir or miss. We just don't really say madam.

There's always (at least) one. So predictable.

Why does every little casual musing one puts on mumsnet while sitting relaxing on their phone with their feet up on their sofa have to been treated as though the OP is frothing at the mouth with rage?

I am fine thank you, and having a lovely day. I simply thought it was vaguely interesting and might generate and interesting discussion.

You have a lovely day yourself

Someone calls me "darling" I call them it back. It sounds very unnatural (and feels it) but I kind of like that.

That would piss me off too OP.

That's different in my view, it's a tradition that goes back to times when teachers were usually unmarried.

Sir and Madam has always been used in professional and service situations.

Where did she say that was all she has to worry about?

I say sir a lot to patients. I don’t say madam. It feel too American and weird. I don’t say darling either but my point is in this country sir is more normal and unfortunately has no obvious female equivalent.

It is casual sexism. But he probably didn't mean to cause offence. I'd have said: 'thanks for the lift sweetie ' or something afterwards to make the point to him. There is a lot of casual sexism around and although it might not seem important - it does highlight different attitudes towards the sexes which spills over into more serious areas - of life.

What did you call him?

Ma’am is the American term. Madam is perfectly acceptable.

I didn't call him anything.

It might be different in your view, but it is men routinely being elevated to a higher status when actually equivalent. A female teacher isn't a little girl, any more than you wanted to be called darling. But if madam was used more widely, that probably would have been what was used.

And if all you’ve got to worry about is whining on someone else’s thread then you have a wond….
Well, you get the picture…

I think there are bigger things in life to worry about. Sounds like he was friendly. It really wouldn't bother me. If it did I'd just say 'thanks love' as I stepped out of the cab.

Madam still feels weird. It’s just not a regular part of our language any more.

It's not just different "in my view". It IS different. There's a tradition in the teaching profession that isn't there in other areas of life.

I've had similar. Taxi in Lancs. Me and DP got in. Driver asked where we were going to and I replied. He asked my DP again totally ignoring me. In fact I'm often ignored in Lancs (don't live there but visit regularly) and most ignore me and just speak to my DP. Initially I was angry and now I just think it's laughable.

You precisely said, 'in my view', not me. I'm surprised he called you anything like darling based on how you come across.

That's different in my view....