Is Mother’s Day only for when your kids get older

[lemondrops4]

another year, another time my husband hasn’t bothered with Mother’s Day. We have one child who’s 3. I haven’t got my card because he said he hasn’t even written it yet lol I made my own breakfast. I said to him you haven’t even acknowledged it and he got into a huff and said “it’s only Mother’s Day” under his breath.
feeling sad as I always make him feel special on Father’s Day. Guess I won’t do that this year.
aibu to have expected a card and some minimal effort like making me tea?
yabu - your dc can make an effort when older and it’s not for DH to make a fuss

A card and a cup of tea is not too much to ask for at all

Yanbu. Very mean of him. And your dc is missing out on the joy of mothers day too. Most dc love choosing a card & spoiling their beloved mums on mothers day

I sort out my own Mothers Day, Christmas, birthday.

Akways get what I want, and nobody’s disappointed.

YANBU.
my 2 kids made cards at school and nursery (3 and 5) but DH also got a card for them to give me, as well as some chocolates, flowers and a vase.

I think it’s shit to say “you’re not his mum” because I bet you usually make an effort from your child for him for Father’s Day?!

DH basically still orchestrates Mothers Day and our oldest DC is 10. They help more now with making my preferred breakfast in bed and choose and write their own cards, but when they were very little he'd get them to "help" with pouring the juice or buttering the bread as well as writing the card for them.

I have a 4yo and a nearly 3yo. I’m currently in the bath while DH has taken them to a nearby playground. I’ve had a card, a bath bomb and a cup of tea in bed.

On the flip side, I was up at 6.30 because two kids basically need man marking, have tidied the playroom and made the toast.

I’m fairly content with my Mother’s Day and it’s what I’d call a low key one but that’s life with preschoolers! I don’t think your bar is too high at all. Card and a mug of tea in bed should be the minimum imo.

This is a good point, my 4.5yo has been so excited about ‘the surprises’ all week!

YANBU, I have 2 young children and Mother's Day is a big deal here! The children absolutely love it and get so much joy and excitement from treating mammy! Cards, presents, flowers, breakfast in bed, they love it, and that has been taught by DH xx

No.
It's is dads responsibility to coordinate Mother's Day until the children are old enough to do it themselves.

Thats a minimum I would expect, especially with your child being little. My eldest son (19) got me a card. But forgot to remind his brother (16) to sign it. Happy mother's day 💐🙏💐

Have you told him what you want? Been clear and explicit and not just assumed he knows and then are upset when you don’t get what you want?

My kids are 4 and 2. Every year DH has got them involved. Now they are a little older he will get them to make me cards and they will go out and choose presents for me.

I have told him what I’d like on Mother’s Day but I just think it’s poor that I have to tell him that I want a card, a cup of tea and to just to say happy Mother’s Day. And he hasn’t done it. To encourage our child to do something with him. Just something small to make me feel a tiny bit special. I don’t expect a present. Feels like I’m asking the earth. I really don’t expect or want a lot. But it feels like that. I rarely feel special anyway but stings a little bit more because he knows what to do. He’s not stupid. He just hasn’t done it because he can’t be bothered.

I know that when a relationship is developing growing, one needs to start finding out the partner's potential light grey, dark grey and black zones about feelings.

It's bad news if the relationship crosses some crucial thresholds and you're living together with financial arrangements, household arrangements, etc ... then, OUT OF THE BLUE comes an issue like Mothers' Day.

It's never nice when it could be the big hill on which to fight a battle of wills and opinions.

Should've passed muster in the wooing/developing period.

My mother always said she didn't care about mothers' day. She always said she just wanted he four kids not to give one another "grief" and to let the day go smoothly. But, deeper down, I gleaned that she half-respected a day for mothers and very much respected the fact that I, from 13yo made an effort every year to make or do or give something to her. A special lunch, a piece of jewellery, a special recipe or cake shared at home, a voucher to one of her favourite clothing shops. It's just on two years since she passed and my three siblings were quite amazed that she'd made notes about almost all my gifts to her (xmas, birthday, mothers' day) over 44 years. It was only after she'd died that I realised I'd left a bigger imprint on her.

He should be organising a card and flowers and a cup of tea on behalf of DC as part of teaching your DC what Mother’s Day is about so when they’re older they can continue the tradition for you themselves. You need to tell him that, because it’s really important that until your DC is old enough to go to the shops themselves they’re reliant on him doing that and need it so that they don’t end up upset and disappointed at having nothing to give as they understand what the day is about. But I don’t think either of you need to go all out to make each other “feel special” on either Mother’s Day or Father’s Day - because yes, that’s for when DC are older and can celebrate and thank their parents for all they do in their own right. I think it’s all become a bit of a to-do in recent years with extravagance.

It isn’t poor that you have to tell him what you expect. That’s just basic common sense.

It is poor if he won’t do it though, obviously.

But so many of these threads come about because the woman hasn’t bothered to be clear with her partner about what it is she wants, and would rather seethe with resentment than just telling him exactly what she wants.