AIBU to expect a Mother’s Day gift?

[MyNewLimePanda]

Firstly, I totally understand that this day is a shitty commercial holiday and that it doesn’t mean anything.

Over the last few years I’ve been quite sick with a nervous system disorder and it’s been pretty tough year. I’ve managed to keep working though and doing loads for my child.

Yesterday my husband took his mum and our daughter out for a Mother’s Day meal whilst I took my mum out and went shopping. Originally, I was going to have my daughter as I default have her 🙃 Then my husbands mum said she would like to see my daughter and so after much persuasion of my husband, he took her on this day.

Roll to this morning and he got me cards from him and my daughter, but no gift or anything like that. He didn’t even offer to let the dog out to the garden or anything like that. It’s not even about the gift for me, but it’s like I had to fight to have a bath on my own this morning, without my daughter (3) in the bath or in the room.

I should prob note that apart from this my husband is usually excellent so I am really grateful for this (and not trying to come across as ungrateful). He does all the cooking, loads of washing and does about 50% of all tasks.

So my question is, I don’t want to be ungrateful, as I know he’s brilliant, but AIBU for expecting something as the mother of his child?

If he's excellent and brilliant the rest of the time then I probably wouldn't get too upset by this. If you've conveyed to him that you think it's 'a shitty commercial holiday that doesn't mean anything' then he probably thinks you don't want anything anyway

would he usually get you a gift?

Yeh he would usually@Namechange2609

I brought this up with him and he is very upset that he’s let me down. I’m telling him to not chastise himself over it. I think he was putting in so much effort for his mum, as his sister wasn’t doing anything for her, that he says he dropped a ball on me. Sad, but trying to work out if I’m valid for feeling a bit sad.

I honestly hate all the Mother’s Day crap people are encouraged to spend money on tbh. I expect nothing but a card but, if DC have bought tat, I of course act pleased, but I’m secretly groaning about where I’m going to put it and what a waste of money it is.

50% of all tasks except parenting?

@Mulledjuice50% of all tasks including parenting. Collects daughter from nursery and I drop off. Cooks daughter dinner and I put her to bed. So I probably wasn’t clear. But apart from not taking daughter to shops with him usually, he is pretty damn good.

I agree. It’s hard not to get caught up on it (like I am today) when it’s shoved down your throat!

I wouldn’t ever expect a gift on Mother’s Day.

I had to fight to have a bath on my own this morning, without my daughter (3) in the bath or in the room

I default have her

He was thoughtful towards his Mum and got you a card. So perhaps when you were discussing the arrangements for mums yesterday you could have said “I would really like to have a bath and a cuppa on my own tomorrow as my Mother’s Day treat”. I often think of people share finances it’s a bit weird getting each other gifts as it’s all from “your” money anyway…

If he is as great as you say, then i wouldn't make a fuss over a day that has grown out of all proportion in recent years.

We don't make a big fuss of our wedding anniversary, in fact we make so little fuss I have just realised writing this that it was last week. But that doesn't mean we don't care about each other, because we very much do. We just don't subscribe to having to do something specific on a specific day to demonstrate it.

So if he and your child demonstrate in other ways and throughout the year that you are appreciated, then that would be fine for me.

@fourelementaryThats a really good idea. Thank you. I think on reflection I could have been more assertive with what I’d like. I know we’re all not mind readers!