To think that people pretend not to understand obesity

[Mezzoprezzo]

After 30 plus years of failed diets I've recently started on mounjaro. Because I've placed an order and spent weeks searching stuff about weight loss medication, my Facebook feed is full of adverts from suppliers, many of which use vlogs from real clients who have lost weight. And the vast majority of comments are along the lines of, couldn't you just eat less, haven't you heard of exercise, why not just stop eating crap etc. Surely people are faking ignorance to have the fun of fat bashing. Obesity is rife! Everyone knows someone who struggles with their weight and who talks openly about it. I and every other obese person I know have tried every diet under the sun. Walk into any gym and you'll see a fair number of larger people trying bloody hard. And I know someone's going to reply to this post by talking about an obese friend who they once saw eating an entire packet of biscuits. Well numerous times I've given in to the overwhelming urge to do that too. And hated myself afterwards. It's part of the horrible condition. People have got eyes and ears and they seriously know full bloody well how hard obese people try to lose weight. They just pretend not to so they can have the fun of hating.

What caused you to go underweight?

She'd be the first to put her hands up and say she's greedy. So I'll have to go with that.

So, besides eating more calories than you expend (with some physical and health conditions excluded) what is there that is misunderstood? Surely overeating is no different to smoking or drinking too much alcohol; it's unhealthy but you can't help it....so it's probably addiction-related.

The ignorance is real.

Yes - and I heard a BBC piece on research into genetic influences. I can’t remember the details but the message was that people who have this issue face a huge battle - and that those who don’t are so much more fortunate. It is not a case of willpower in some and weakness in others.

Well, everyone has told her she is all her life I expect, and she can see her daughter thinks the same. Why would someone eat a whole loaf they don’t want?

@Winifredtabago

is that what you’re focussing on? “If you can go underweight, you could have stayed there?”

🤣🤣🤣

bless you. Not point trying to show you the complexity. Carry on with your ignorant bliss x

It's a genuine question. I've never been underweight (I put that down to enjoying my food too much) and I'm curious as to how and overweight person becomes underweight.

There are so many factors.
I have never been overweight (I think a lot is to do with luck, or genes) but my mum was overweight virtually her whole life. I've seen pictures of her as a child/teen in the 50s/60s. She was overweight then, so were both her parents, so was her brother. At her wedding she probably wasn't overweight but likely at the upper end of bmi.
They didn't have a car growing up, they didn't eat upfs, but all were overweight.
I think her genes potentially predisposed her to be overweight.

The only thing that I don't really understand is the never the twain shall meet element of these discussions.

Some people will blame medical conditions, psychological conditions, poverty, genetics, and pretty much anything that takes away any personal responsibility from an individual.

Some people will blame only the individual even when there are medical diagnoses that explain it.

The reality is that there will be some people who are obese because of medical conditions (either identified or not); some people will be so because of personal choices they freely make; in some people it will be an interplay of both to varying degrees.

using your own analogy

An asthmatic may always need an inhaler. Even if they breathing and conditions are under control.

some may always need a maintenance dose of a WLI even if their weight and exercise is under control.

You’re right but you get the same comments about every ailment or mental issue, apart from cancer or the other terminal ones

Re: genetics - I have the same genetics as my siblings - they actually do choose to overeat (as well as smoke and drink, though not to excess) they also are a bit lazy and always happy for someone else to carry the 'load'. One actually admits to eating loads and proud of it, the other just thinks a smile and makeup will get her through. I smoke to excess.

We're in our 60s and probably all dysfunctional yet functioning adults. Funnily enough my siblings are far more judgemental than me.

But if there was a shot like MJ to cure my smoking addiction then I'd be first in line. But that ain't gonna happen as smoking addicts like me add far more to the public purse in taxation than the obese food addicts do.

You can control healthy stuff at home but eating out there is less choice especially for fussy eaters. Once they start birthday parties too (particularly once they start primary school) you get invites every other weekend sometimes, we’ve had several with 2 parties over a weekend and you get the usual kids buffet, with the finger foods, pizza, crisps and those fruit shoot drinks (which taste like neat undiluted squash, crazy sweet!) then sweets and chocolates given in party bags. Then there’s drop off play dates and they tend to have a mixture of healthy and junky foods. Also visits from well meaning rellies, esp grandparents who like to give chocolate or other treat, Easter eggs. It just goes on and on.

Unfortunately it just seems unavoidable. We try our best to get the balance right at home.

Can only speak personally, but I was obese. If I ate to any form of satisfaction, I remained obese. If I dieted, I felt starving constantly. And I mean all day, all night. Sometimes a meal would make me more hungry somehow. any exercise made the hunger so much worse.

I couldn’t understand being constantly starving and constantly thinking about food but yet somehow massively overweight. It made no sense.

ive been on Mounjaro now and I think I understand what it’s like to be a normal person! I get a little hungry before a meal. Then I eat a sensible meal and I’m not hungry any more.

If you’ve lived your whole life like this then I get that you wouldn’t get why people are obese and can’t just stop eating.

Absolutely. All very true. My concern over obesity is the rising levels amongst both adults and children and there is a strong correlation between the food we eat now, the availability of food and our more inactive lifestyles. Not just in terms of obesity but general health. And of course those three things do not apply to everyone who struggles with weight gain!

Ok 2/3 of the population are overweight instead of obese. My point very much still stands.

I come back to the same point over and over: after listening to pretty much every obesity scientist I can talk about obesity, one message clearly links them all: not a single person who has studied obesity in a scientific capacity has answerd the question on the cause(s) of obesity with "yeah, it's because people choose to eat to much".

Not one.

But just because someone is a normal weight doesnt mean they dont feel hungry after eating, doesnt crave food, doesnt feel hungry after exercise. The struggle is there for a lot of people.

I don’t think that’s what I said …

Yes because it's not as simple as that one thing.

You said you think you can understand what it feels like to be a normal person. You say you can eat a sensible meal and not feel hungry. Sorry that's not necessarily the reality for a lot of 'normal' people.

It’s all about the body trying to maintain a set weight and it is very hard to override those biological signals. UPFs have pushed that set weight up for some of us. It’s like being thirsty when we are dehydrated or sweating when we are hot. Yes we have conscious control of what we eat but fighting strong hunger signals 24/7 is hard and the metabolism slows down to make the weight loss even harder. The more weight you lose the harder it is as the body’s homeostasis mechanisms get stronger.

WLIs dampen down some of this but when you stop taking them it all comes back with avengeance. It’s not a case of using the time to train yourself to eat smaller portions and resetting your life style. It’s just so much easier to do those things that we know anyway when the medication is in your system.

👍

This normalisation of being 'bigger' has also made buying clothes a nightmare now. I'd always be safe with a pair of 10 or 12 jeans, now I'm swamped in a size 12 and it's hit or miss with a size 10; not helped by me not liking skinny-fit because I prefer not to wear suction clothes filled with lycra.

10-12 were fine up to the end of the 90s and I can assure you I haven't lost weight or size since then.