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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a kids birthday party shouldn't descend into a boozefest

32 replies

CowboyJoanna · 29/03/2025 21:55

Living a couple doors down from me is a family of 5 (parents and 3 kids), the youngest kid (about 4 I reckon) had his birthday party today. When I say it's a birthday party, it's a proper shindig. They're a very unpleasant family (police are always round, dad has a criminal record and the eldest son has been nicked a fair few times for anti social behaviour) but the mum is a very popular figure in the estate because she owns a nail bar. They have a very big family and this woman seems to be the 'heart and soul' of it so to speak, so if theres any parties or family gettogethers the clan all gather THERE. Anyway the estate's blocked up with cars all the way down with relatives and friends piling into the house and just leaving cars blocking over the timid neighbours' driveways (they've wisely not parked over ours or some of the scarier figures on this street, let's just say we take no prisonersGrin).

They hired a bouncy castle, had the pump going since 11 this morning with the music blaring. Half the town's worth of relatives and kids piled into the house, and all day I've heard nonstop music. The sound of kids shouting/screaming/swearing on the bouncy castle lasted until about 5 until the "little shits" were called in (mother's words not mine). Some of the kids went home with their parents and I thought the party would be over. But nope. It was just over for the kids.

The music has carried on, all the adults have stayed outside but got even louder. The women are cackling like witches, men gobbing off. Clearly rowdy with booze. It's now nearly 10 at night and the music is still going, and as I speak a bunch of shirtless middle aged men are bouncing on the bouncy castleConfused.

My kids are tired, they cant sleep, and we cant do anything but pray it ends before 3am because the police dont want to know and if we go over ourselves we'd probably be lucky if we still had our kneecaps. But im just thinking to myself, this is a little kid's birthday party and surely this is purely tasteless isnt it?

OP posts:
Thestarsinthesky · 29/03/2025 21:58

Ah let them be! Sounds like the older days when everyone gets together and has fun… maybe pop over yourself!

Hayley1256 · 29/03/2025 21:59

Let them be, it's not even 11pm on a Saturday night yet! Most parties with adult family members and kids will normally end with the kids going to bed or chilling and playing with each other whilst the adults socialise.

Itisjustmyopinion · 29/03/2025 22:03

The kids party was this afternoon and now the adults are letting their hair down. It’s not a crime as much as you want it to be

Hottchoc · 29/03/2025 22:03

Lovely to have such a close family. They sound happy.

IPM · 29/03/2025 22:06

Anyway the estate's blocked up with cars all the way down with relatives and friends piling into the house and just leaving cars blocking over the timid neighbours' driveways (they've wisely not parked over ours or some of the scarier figures on this street, let's just say we take no prisoners

But you're too worried about your kneecaps to ask them to turn the music down?

CowboyJoanna · 29/03/2025 22:07

I shouldve put this on my post but the family have clan gatherings every 3 weeks and they always go on to about 2am at the earliest.

DH gets crabby because sometimes they'll be shouting at one another on the street in early hours of the morning.

Im not a total mishog there's nothing wrong with having a party for your kids thats great. I've done parties for my kids before. Maybe have a wine or a beer afterwards when the kids are in bed that's fine.

But it's the music pounding so loud you can hear it with all the windows shut. Its the aggressive swearing and screaming in early hours so the whole neighbourhood can hear them I take issue with. Big burly grown men jumping and playfighting on a bouncy castle (they're scaring my DDs Sad).

I just think to myself its tacky and completely inconsiderate of your neighbours.

OP posts:
ThePoshUns · 29/03/2025 22:08

It’s not really impacting on you though is it? It’s a Saturday night, still quite early. Let it go.

CowboyJoanna · 29/03/2025 22:08

IPM · 29/03/2025 22:06

Anyway the estate's blocked up with cars all the way down with relatives and friends piling into the house and just leaving cars blocking over the timid neighbours' driveways (they've wisely not parked over ours or some of the scarier figures on this street, let's just say we take no prisoners

But you're too worried about your kneecaps to ask them to turn the music down?

The dad is a nasty piece of work. The parking relatives arent particularly pleasant but theyre at least approachable.

OP posts:
Owmyelbow · 29/03/2025 22:10

It is totally inconsiderate you're right. Weirdly on Mumsnet it seems that loud late night gatherings aren't an issue for most people

CowboyJoanna · 29/03/2025 22:10

Must be I was raised differently to everyone else on this site. i was taught by my mum to be mindful and respectful of my neighbours. not to have music too loud, not to swear and bellow so the whole street can hear you, not to plaster birthday banners of photos of your kids on the roundabout across the way.

You do you, in your own home, without disturbing anyone else surely.

OP posts:
hididdlyho · 29/03/2025 22:15

They sound inconsiderate to put it mildly. Who blocks driveways from the early hours on a Saturday morning without asking, except assholes? Also plenty of people work weekends, so partying until 2 am once a month isn't very neighbourly. I start work at 10am on Sundays, so would be telling them to pipe down if they're pulling this shit on the regular.

LeaveTaking · 29/03/2025 22:19

I wouldn’t like it at all. It shows a complete lack of respect and disregard for their neighbours.

You can socialise without keeping all your neighbours awake too.

I think the frequent police visits also indicate it’s not problem free drinking…. Poor kids.

GLC789 · 29/03/2025 22:19

I don't think there is much wrong with a few drinks at, or after a party for kids (i don't drink often but most of my family and friends enjoy getting a little fluffy).

But..the situation you are describing here is not that really. It's just vile behaviour regardless of the origins of the party. I don't think you're being unreasonable for being upset over their behaviour. The parking, the swearing, the vulgarity, whether drink fuelled or not is just horrific to put up with, especially if as you say, it's frequent.

I hope it ends soon for you OP. It's just started blowing a gale and battering with rain where I am (south wales). Sending positive energy that it comes your way and sends them inside!!

Hope the mums at said party enjoy their filthy hangover's tomorrow! 🤣 happy Mothers day!!!

mindutopia · 29/03/2025 22:22

I am with you. Sounds absolutely horrendous. I’ll be completely honest in a snooty middle class way, this is why I explicitly sought out a house that wasn’t near anyone. I have no neighbours. It’s great. Peace and quiet. Can you move? I’ve lived very much on top of people and heard all sorts. Nope, couldn’t do it now.

ClowningArounds · 29/03/2025 22:26

CowboyJoanna · 29/03/2025 22:07

I shouldve put this on my post but the family have clan gatherings every 3 weeks and they always go on to about 2am at the earliest.

DH gets crabby because sometimes they'll be shouting at one another on the street in early hours of the morning.

Im not a total mishog there's nothing wrong with having a party for your kids thats great. I've done parties for my kids before. Maybe have a wine or a beer afterwards when the kids are in bed that's fine.

But it's the music pounding so loud you can hear it with all the windows shut. Its the aggressive swearing and screaming in early hours so the whole neighbourhood can hear them I take issue with. Big burly grown men jumping and playfighting on a bouncy castle (they're scaring my DDs Sad).

I just think to myself its tacky and completely inconsiderate of your neighbours.

What's a mishog? (I realise that's not the point of the post...)

IPM · 29/03/2025 22:29

CowboyJoanna · 29/03/2025 22:10

Must be I was raised differently to everyone else on this site. i was taught by my mum to be mindful and respectful of my neighbours. not to have music too loud, not to swear and bellow so the whole street can hear you, not to plaster birthday banners of photos of your kids on the roundabout across the way.

You do you, in your own home, without disturbing anyone else surely.

Must be I was raised differently to everyone else on this site.

Differently to all 8 million members?

BlondiePortz · 29/03/2025 22:31

But what we think doesn't stop it all, you want us to agree with you so what is the point in all this? You have decided what you think so go with that

Yousaiditnotme · 29/03/2025 22:34

Sounds fun, especially the bouncy castle part..I miss gatherings like that

Iamtired123 · 29/03/2025 22:36

Sounds fun tbh 🤣 apart from the topless men on the bouncy castle 🤮

Yousaiditnotme · 29/03/2025 22:36

Iamtired123 · 29/03/2025 22:36

Sounds fun tbh 🤣 apart from the topless men on the bouncy castle 🤮

Depends what the men are like 😁

Iamtired123 · 29/03/2025 22:37

Yousaiditnotme · 29/03/2025 22:36

Depends what the men are like 😁

Hmm I suppose

abracadabra1980 · 29/03/2025 22:42

I'm noise sensitive so would hate this, and would probably move if it was possible.

Hernameisdeborah · 29/03/2025 22:52

YANBU. I'm guessing you're not against the odd late-night, happy family gathering, it's more the anticipation and feeling of dread around what might happen later into the early hours, based on previous experience of these people?

The family sounds awful.

828Pax · 29/03/2025 22:56

ClowningArounds · 29/03/2025 22:26

What's a mishog? (I realise that's not the point of the post...)

I haven't heard the word 'mishog' since I was a children and it made me smile reading it! My mum used to say it in a jokey way if we kids were grumpy!

Mnetcurious · 29/03/2025 22:57

Yanbu. I’d have to move house if this kind of thing was happening regularly with these kind of neighbours, genuinely.