Im so Incredibly lonely

[Dabsaa]

I need to vent somewhere. 26yo married to the first man I've ever been with seriously and met at 19. We have 3yo and 1.5yo.

He has suspected adhd. In the process of diagnosing and tbh with all due respect it can be hard to deal with sometimes. If I don't deal with things how he wishes he is moody he has emotional outbursts and I really struggle. I feel like hes fell out of love with me and I have with him a bit.

I don't have close friends. Small family who I don't want to burden. My social interaction is my kids but obviously I can't relay my thoughts onto them aha!

Part of me thinks stay until they're older and more independent as hes useless with them. He goes on about being a dad but has never done a night feed. Doesnt change our youngest babies nappies and didn't help potty train eldest just for an insight. My kids ask for me when they wake in the night. My job requires the odd event away in a different city in the UK which I've never done yet as I can't leave my kids. I should be able to with their own bloody dad.

But this ties into my loneliness. I can't leave them so can't get hobbies or join groups where I could make friends and maybe even meet a man who'd say something really lovely to.me I don't know.

When I'm at shops (food or clothes) or nursery i chat and i stop myself as I know it's me being lonely chatting. I love the kids nursery and have great relationships with the staff there but part of the reason I chat longer is because I'm lonely

Just needed to vent as again. I have no one to vent to. I look back and I would never regret getting with the father of my children as the only happiness in my life is my kids. But I look at 19yo me and wonder why I ignored so many red flags

Is their any mum and child groups you can go to? I go to some local and find it much easier to make friends this way

I agree, I don’t get out much due to a disability. When I do I’d sooner queue for a manned till than the self service ones, I NEED that interaction for my sanity!

If he won't change a nappy he wouldn't ask for shared care. He'd likely be a Disney Dad taking the kids out on a Saturday hyping them up them dropping them back to you.

What age do you think your kids will be when you are able to leave?

its damaging to bring kids up in that environment- its modelling poor relationships which then may then go on to repeat when they are adult.

It’s highly unlikely he’ll go for shared custody. It’s a tactic often used by abusive men to scare women into staying.

I honestly think you need to be brave, be strong and leave sooner.

If I was your mum or your friend I would want you to confide in me. Don’t deal with this alone x