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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being ridiculous feeling hurt by this?

6 replies

forgranted0 · 29/03/2025 19:59

There is a bit of an underlying theme between me and DH where I feel as though he takes me for granted / doesn't appreciate how much I do for him and our family which may be clouding my view of this situation so feel free to tell me if I'm being ridiculous.

DH went out earlier this week saying he needed to get a mothers day card for his mum, he took his older DD with him and asked her to choose one for her mum (his ex) too.

I assumed that this trip would also involve getting my card from our shared (toddler) DC. However this evening he's had to go out again, when I asked where he was going he didn't seem to have any issue explaining to me that he needed to get me a card for tomorrow. When I asked why he didn't get one when he got the others he just said "I completely forgot to be honest". He seemed in a huff to be honest that he had to go out on a Sat evening to get one.

AIBU to feel hurt? He remembered his own mother, and even bought a card for DSD to give her mum but I, his wife and mother of his other children, was just "completely forgotten". I'm hurt by that as it plays into the whole feeling that he just doesn't really think about me or what I do for the family. But it also hurt me that he'd not just make something up, just say you're going for toilet roll or something, why just bluntly tell me you completely forgot about me when literally buying mothers day cards for every other mother in your life?!

It's not about the card, I understand it's just a day. I just feel a bit hurt. He remembered to take DSD to get a card for his ex, he remembered to get one for MIL he barely sees, but I just got forgotten and now it's a burden that he has to go back out.

OP posts:
mismomary · 29/03/2025 20:23

I'm with you OP. I'd be hurt by this too. Not the forgetting so much but the feeling of being a burden. And yes he shouldn't have told you where he was going. He's taken away the little pleasure of surprise.

AmusedGoose · 29/03/2025 20:43

No you joint child is a toddler. It doesn't matter.

Endofyear · 29/03/2025 20:44

Yes it's hurtful that he forgot about you and isn't even emotionally literate enough to cover his thoughtlessness. Don't keep it to yourself and let the resentful feelings stew - tell him that you're hurt and tell him why. If he realises that this has made you feel unloved and unappreciated, he should make an effort to make it up to you.

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 29/03/2025 20:58

AmusedGoose · 29/03/2025 20:43

No you joint child is a toddler. It doesn't matter.

It matters to the op - why does it not matter??

Podgeys1 · 29/03/2025 21:03

Very thoughtless, but he has form.
Stop doing anything for him that makes his life easier.
Stop making his life so easy.
Is he pulling his weight?
If not insist on it.
Sounds like you have chosen poorly.
This is your life if you allow it.
Stop being a doormat.
At least you know where you stand.
Oh, and you deserve better.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 29/03/2025 21:15

I wouldn't say that he wasn't thinking about you, maybe he wanted to buy fresh flowers and decided to wait.

He might still show you that he cares about the day, in the morning.

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