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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that most relationships would improve if women stopped mothering their partners?

31 replies

FunnyMentor · 29/03/2025 19:55

If you treat him like a child, don’t be surprised when he acts like one.

OP posts:
pinkstripeycat · 30/03/2025 06:11

My FIL actively encouraged DH to be lazy. He’d say to me “I can’t believe you are expecting DH to make his own tea,” when DH was going out and was eating before the rest of us.

Also he’d say to me “What you want to do is: paint the kitchen, fix a door etc. DH works hard enough already.”

FIL did everything for MIL, cooking, baking fruit and meat pies (I never knew a man who baked), cleaning, gardening, DIY, shopping, washing,
the lot. MIL wasn’t lazy and did things but FIL wanted to look after her.

No idea why FIL didn’t want his son to be the same. It’s taken me years to get DH to finally do things. I just stopped doing his washing, cooking etc so he had to do it. He’s still a bit hit and miss. Cooks for himself and no one else. Have a week off work and do nothing. Only shops for things for himself unless I know he’s going and give him a list.

My boys are very independent thankfully. They don’t understand why their dad is so lazy.

pinkstripeycat · 30/03/2025 06:13

SnowFrogJelly · 30/03/2025 02:15

Wow man haters are out in force tonight

Calm down. It’s just a discussion. Folk are allowed their opinions.

Cl0cks · 30/03/2025 06:17

God I’d hate petty resentful relationships like this. What happened to working as a team and appreciating what each other does.

Millyjanice · 30/03/2025 06:19

FunnyMentor · 29/03/2025 19:55

If you treat him like a child, don’t be surprised when he acts like one.

Isn’t this a blaming of women for men’s’ bad behaviour ?

stayathomer · 30/03/2025 06:24

This is true but don’t forget that women also try to take charge, the ‘I’ll do it’ can as likely come from the ‘if you can’t do it right I’m doing it’, this is from someone working at a checkout where time and time (and time and time!) again a couple get to the checkout and a woman elbows the man out of the way, or grabs stuff from him to use her own method, snaps at him ‘that doesn’t go there’ etc.

And yes I know weaponised incompetence is a thing, but I don’t believe it’s that much of a thing!

Crikeyalmighty · 30/03/2025 16:45

@TeapotTitties oh I don’t disagree- a fair few Italian men seem to want full on being looked after like mama - that’s why Scandinavia for me was a real eye opener- saw same in Sweden too -

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